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Have you got a secret that you want to tell somebody else, but you just can’t?
These people at Reddit Confessions sure did.
Here are 17 of the best I could dig up:
1. Not Cool, Dude.
Sometimes when I’m drunk I pee on the faucet in the bathroom. So when someone else finishes washing their hands and turns the water off, they now have my piss on their hands. I feel bad about it sometimes, but I just can’t help myself.
2. Going AWOL
I am in the national guard and after two years I have had it. I plan on failing my test so I can finally get out and resume my life. I was never big into military and was suckered in in high school by free college. I would much rather work harder at my other job, which I enjoy very much and get to smoke weed when I want than be surrounded by people I would otherwise choose not to hang around with.
I am not on here looking for your judgment I just needed to tell someone, because my friends and family wouldn’t understand. I know life will be more of a challenge with a general discharge instead of Honorable, but I will face it because I do have a strong work ethic, though many will think I just wanted to get high all the time.
3. Charlie
I didn’t notice it until it was pointed out to me by my boyfriend and my housemates that Charlie fancies me. It didn’t bother me at first because it seemed easy enough to handle, I would just ignore it, and it would go away after a while. My little brother used to do this with a lot of my friends; it rarely lasted longer than 3-4 weeks.
The problem is that over time I’ve noticed I like Charlie too.
At first I thought it was maternal, his parents don’t give a sh*t about him and I felt sorry for him, I’d take him home with me if I could.
But now I can’t stop thinking about him, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, and everyday my boyfriend seems less and less appealing. The best relationship of my life is deteriorating because I’m falling for a child… 7 years younger than me.
4. Tangled
I had sex with my best friend, who happens to be my ex. It was fun. Did it a few times. Then he did some stuff with another girl (we’re both single so it’s totally ok). Now I can’t stand the idea of him touching me.
Weirdest thing is I want him…like BADLY and he wants me too (just physically of course), but the idea of him touching me just makes me think of what he did (yes i know it’s illogical, he was in all his rights), and it just makes me want to cry.
It doesn’t make sense. It’s completely illogical. I think it’s really pathetic and stupid of me but whenever I think of maybe doing it with him again I kinda just feel repulsed by myself… It is so idiotic I hate myself more than anything. Basically, my confession is that I’m an idiot.
5. “At first we knew the consequences…”
Well, beginning of the school year, we decided that we were a bit too fat for our liking. We’re about 5’10 (me) and 5’8 (her). So we started “The Diet”…which we had done before, but we kind of forgot about it after a while. Well we were serious and stuck to it. I was 160, she was 140. At first, her goal weight was 120, mine 120 too. Basically The Diet entails that we stay under our BMR…way under…around 500 kcals a day. There’s some misc. rules, such as hardly any carbs, lot’s of protein, minimal fats, vitamins.
At first we knew the consequences…now we’ve seemed to have forgotten them, each day, she says, “there’s no visible consequences, it’s worth it,” and I nod and agree. I went from 160 to 148 in just 3 weeks of restricting. I’ve been doing it for a long time, but I’ve been yo-yoing. The Diet seems to bring out my binging side, and once I binge I can’t stop for days. I’m at 153 right now, and honestly plan on being 110 by summer. She does too, but she’s 112 right now. And it’s taking a toll on her health.
She’s passed out and hit her head and had to get stitches. She’s cold all the time, her immune system is depleted. And, even though that’s happening to her, I can’t help but be jealous. I see her, and I see skinny. Thigh gap, flat stomach. But it’s not enough The Diet mentality makes it so it’s never enough. She still sees fat.
6. <$1
The total balance of my three bank accounts is less than a dollar. Everyone thinks I have it together, but I lost my job and am about to get slammed with legal fees over a crime I didn’t commit.
Photo Credit: Pixabay/CC0
7. Cranial/Labial Fallacy
I have a large labia and because of that I’m afraid of being with anyone else. I’ve never been with a man, but the way I look is holding me back. I’ve only been with girls. I know that there’s been men on reddit saying that they don’t care what it looks like, but I’m terrified of exposing myself to someone and seeing a surprised or disgusted look on their face. I want to get surgery to make it more attractive.
8. “I just lost all hope.”
I’ve recovered psychically from anorexia, for about a year now, and since, I’ve gained 100 pounds. I went from 120 to 220 because like so many girls, I developed a binge eating disorder, and I began purging. But, contrary to popular belief… purging can’t get all the calories out, and when I noticed I started gaining, I just lost all hope. And now, and the peak of my highest weight, I am completely disgusted with myself. I want to be able to diet the healthy weight, and lose weight properly, but now every time I see any food, or it touches my lips. I become so disgusted with myself. I have to cover the mirrors in my bathroom when I shower because my body makes me want to cry.
9. “I know it’s just hormones and lust…”
I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over 3 years. It’s pretty serious, I suppose. Since the beginning of it, I have been devastatingly attracted to his best friend. In fact, I’ve been attracted to his best friend longer than him. And I haven’t gotten over it.
I know it’s just hormones and lust, but it hurts sometimes to know that I might have made the wrong choice and that can never be changed. Please note that I do love my boyfriend, I really do. I just can’t get over this stupid attraction to his best friend. 🙁
10. Craigslister
A little over a year ago I found a site where guys bragged on the dating fortunes using CL. I tried and ever since I have become addicted to posting ads.
I have dated close to 55 different woman, almost 1 per week and sometimes, two to three per week. Of the group, I had relationships with about 12, most a one time thing.
11. Another Bad Idea
There’s not really a whole lot to say. I’ve been fantasizing about my gf’s sister. I don’t know if it’s the taboo nature of it that turns me on or if it’s that she appears to have a great set of breasts.
We’re all going on a tropical vacation in a few months, and I’d really like to try to get the group interested in a nude beach (we’ve just joked about it so far). It’s probably a terrible idea, but I can’t help myself.
12. Dialing Out
I have gone from thinking to wanting to be a call-girl. I want to become a call-girl so I can regularly get fucked without dating anyone, so I can finish my half- done tattoos, and so I can move my child and I out of my mom’s house.
13. No Limits
I’m a no-limit prostitute. Throughout my “career”, I’ve had threesomes with client’s families, jerked off a horse, and become a temporary enemy of the state.
14. I wanna be sedated.
I can’t go to sleep without fantasising about being kidnapped and sedated. It’s like the only way I can fall asleep now. The image of someone grabbing me and injecting something in me to make me fall asleep. I’ll sometimes go on to imagine what it’s like being under the drug and the effects of tiredness and sleep it’d put on me.
15. “I just love the smell of my ass.”
I love smelling my own ass. This has been going on for absolutely years. I just love the smell of my ass. Putting my fingers there and just sniffing it and it’s a nice smell.
I don’t do it all day at work, but when I get home it’s the first thing I do.
Photo Credit: Pixabay/CC0
16. “I couldn’t hold it in any longer…”
My dad had to throw away a 250$ pair of shoes because of me.
When I was 10, me and my family went camping for a week. Since there were no toilets within miles of the campsite, I tried to hold in my shit for a week. Don’t know why I had that brilliant idea, but 2 days before we left, I couldn’t hold it in any longer, and let out a massive turd that almost ripped my an*s apart. My dad went out to gather some wood for the fire, and returned absolutely coated in my feces.
And to this very day, he still thinks it was a bear turd he slipped in.
17. Who wears short shorts?
As a guy with little body hair, I get turned on when I rub my own smooth legs.
