What’s your deepest, darkest secret?

Have you told anyone?

Is the burden wearing you down?

Maybe you need to visit the confessions page on Reddit and release yourself.

I combed through there, and pulled 19 that stuck out.

I’m not usually one to tease the ending, but I did save a crazy-ass one for last:

1. Bad Dad

I don’t want to be a father anymore.

24M divorced with 4.5yo son.

Almost 6 years with the ex. Lots of fighting and a generally shitty relationship. Went on for too long, trying to “stay together for the kid”. We broke up last October and continued to live together until March this year when I called the cops and evicted her.

Now that I’m single (and a dad), I just want to sign away my parental rights. I resent my ex for still being able to get laid and find a new LTR while I’ve had less-than-stellar results (one crazy who I dated for a couple months that ended up wedging herself between me and my son/my ex/my family). I want to selfishly just say “fuck it”, let her take over as sole provider of my son and be able to do the things I want to do (ie. meet women my age without being red-flagged immediately on account of my single parenthood).

I’m struggling with alcoholism, guilt of kicking out my ex, debt we incurred together, the apartment we got together that I still live in but can no longer afford, and unable to meet someone new (whom I know I will be infinitely happier with than my ex but who I can’t since I feel like I’m forever marked as undatable).

I’m reminded by my friends and family that I have my son ‘there for me’ and I’m lucky since I have a good job/career prospects…But it doesn’t help me sleep at night, since I constantly obsess about being alone and single. Maybe I’m just a selfish prick. Maybe my son would be better off without me.

2. Poof!

I just lost 60% of my family’s money. I’m in shock. It was on a stock called ziopharm (ziop). Didn’t expect them to release results so early, planned on selling out before they did. It wasn’t greed about holding through results I just didn’t think they would release so early. This is money I can afford to lose but it hurts. My wife knows about my trading but what do I tell her? Tell myself?

3. Dreams

So, there is this girl at my school, and she’s super gorgeous, but I recently found out that she has a bf, and ever since then, I’ve been having dreams (not nightmares) where I murder the dude.

I’m worried about this, because when I wake up I feel no remorse.

4. Get a Room

I’ve always had a fantasy of getting a hotel room and inviting strange men over.

I want it so badly.

5. Just Cuz

I had sex with my cousin last night. There has been some somewhat obvious chemistry of the years. We’re in our late 20’s and both single, both a little bit emotionally screwed up.

I don’t know about other places, but here in the US, this is mostly frowned upon, I would guess.We rarely see each other, maybe 2x a year, and since early childhood, I spent about 10 years not seeing her at all.

Last night over some drinks, one thing led to another…Now, in the cold, grey light of day, I’m not sure how I feel about the whole thing. It was incredibly hot and very passionate. It may happen again sometime, because it was good in the moment.

6. “I’ve never been attracted to her before.”

Let me get this out of the way right now, I am in no way attracted to my girlfriends mother. I mean yeah she has pretty face and a nice shape but thinking about her in that capacity is kinda icky.

I’ve never been attracted to her before, in fact this is the only time I’ve had something like this happen. It wasn’t anything hardcore just some heavy groping and kissing. Anyway I’m rambling and I’m just weirded out about this and just had to tell an impartial party.

7. A Pirate’s Life

I haven’t been able to find a job, I’m so scared of disappointing my dad that I told him I found a part time job in data entry when really I’ve been making my money off of selling premium accounts on file sharing websites to download pirated pornography and writing erotica for the amazon store.

I make about a 1000 a month but it’s very dangerous and could be shut down any day now

I wake up at 7:30, shower, put on khakis and a nice shirt and shoes and go somewhere they won’t find me and just write or browse or game all day, then go home.

8. Sink-hole

I pee in my bathroom sink. But I’m clean about it, and I never pee in the sinks of others.

When I do it, I run my hand under the water so the water spreads all over the inside of the bowl, and use my other hand to aim into the drain itself. When I’m done, I make sure water runs long enough to wash it all out of the pipes. Then I use some water to rinse off my goods.

It all started a few years ago when I was running to the bathroom and didn’t make it and went for the kitchen sink. It was the best piss I ever had. Being able to pee into something that was waist level, as well as not really needing to aim, being able to push myself into the side of the sink in relief, and even using a splash of water to wash off my cash and prizes was a religious experience.

9. “Awkward Teenage Brain”

When I was 15 I kissed a horses penis in a pathetic attempt to appear sexy for its keeper.

We were visiting a farm in Louisiana, and this guy that worked on the farm was showing me the stables while my parents were talking to the owners. It was that horny time in a lady’s life, and I kept flirting with him. During the naughtier parts of the conversation I mentioned the horse’s cock and squatted down.

He said something like, “Uh, yeah, it’s pretty big,” and somehow my awkward teenage brain thought it would be sexy of me to play with it, so I stroked it a couple of times and kissed it. The poor guy just stood there and watched in horror.

10. No Statute of Limitations?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and I love him with all my heart. He’s very against cheating and we would never EVER cheat on each other. He’s made it clear that he’d never date a cheater. If he ever found out that I cheated on my last boyfriend, our relationship would be over.

11. Falling

I can’t go outside if there’s not enough clouds because I genuinely feel like I’m going to fall into the sky.

I know in my rational mind that it’s a ridiculous fear – unfortunately my rational mind doesn’t have a chance to say anything before the adrenaline sets in at which point I feel like the universe is going to suck me up into it.

It’s the most helpless and dreadful feeling and as a long time mental patient I’m fairly certain there’s no help I can get for this so it’s something that I’ll just have to live with forever.

I want a new brain because life is too much for this one. I don’t know how many people have killed themselves out of sheer fear of existence but I’m circling the drain.

There were actually several comments after this post from people who suffer from the same condition, and the OP seemed to find comfort in that.

12. Not Poly

I realize I can’t share someone in a polyamorous relationship.

I was new to this different relationship type. I only fell for one guy in the relationship (MFM) but he is married to the other guy (who isn’t sexually interested in me at all) and they live together and I have to live on my own for a while till something is suppose to happen. I hate the fact that they are together every day and I am not with them until we plan something. I am confused by all of this and I might erase all my feelings for the other guy, this sucks ass -_-

13. Rounding Down

I (29m) have had between 70-100 partners from age 18 until now. I have spent 5 years in 3 different relationships. I was never once unfaithful. That means I’ve averaged, while single, between 1-1.5 new sexual partners a month.

The only girl I’ve told the whole truth to reacted fairly (she thought it was a big number, but not a big deal), but how on earth do I tell someone who has maybe only had 2-10 partners what a tremendous whore I am? Instead I have consistently lied to every girl (minus one) who I’ve ever dated when asked about my number.

I usually say, “I don’t really keep track, but I’d guess around 25.”

This makes me a shitty person.

14. “He’s not young and hot, he’s 40 and balding…”

I have a crush on my history teacher. I don’t get it… He’s not young and hot, he’s 40 and balding… It’s been bothering me for almost a year now…

I know It’s not normal, and I even have a boyfriend, but I still have a thing for this guy… I think there is some underlying reason why I like him so much, but I can’t figure it out. I have no clue what to do…

Maybe it’s just me, as a balding almost 40-year-old, but I kinda feel like this about it:

15. Minnie

The real reason I broke up with my boyfriend is because he told me that he draws pictures of himself having sex with Minnie Mouse.

16. Wasting Time

I’m a 24 year old girl and my boyfriend doesn’t want to have sex until he’s married. At first I was alright with that, but it’s been 3 years, and I’m getting frustrated.

Recently it was also made apparent to me that our difference in religion will be an impediment to us getting married. I am Baptist but he is Catholic, and his mother refuses to set foot in any church other than her own. They don’t even attend church every week!

I don’t know what to do. It should be my wedding so I should get to decide where I get married, not his mother. If I want to have sex with him, I have to marry him. If I want to marry him, I have to become Catholic and abandon all of my beliefs.

He keeps telling me to wait and that a solution will come. I just think that I’m wasting his time. Other than the fact that we will never have a future together we are perfect for each other.

17. Emotional Infidelity

I didn’t realize it until today, but for the last couple of months I’ve been emotionally cheating on my girlfriend with a good friend of mine. There’s no overt flirting and the conversation is generally just dumb snark or politics, but it kind of feels like she’s filled a void my girlfriend should be filling (lol). While we’ve been physical in the past it’s a line conversation never really crosses. We live far enough apart that there’s no realistic chance of that happening again.

My girlfriend knows we talk frequently, and is okay with it, but probably because she doesn’t get the full picture. If she knew how important my friend was to me, and that we’ve slept together before things would be be different. I only feel guilty because I know it would upset her, otherwise I feel like this is kind of harmless. The right decision would involve cutting contact and essentially choosing between two of my best friends.

But I can’t do that. For now I’m oddly okay with that decision.

18. “I’m not that interesting.”

I’m just your average middle aged single guy. Well I’m on FB and have only a modest amount of friends. Mostly just family, church friends, and some co workers. I don’t do much accept occasionally post inspirational stuff. So I was updating my photo album and selected all. It worked perfectly. Almost too good because I accidentally uploaded an old sex video too in the process.

Well now I go through the week and notice that I’m getting some strange looks from folks that normally wouldn’t look at me much less talk to me. I think nothing of it because no one says anything. Fast forward to now I’m updating my Facebook profile. Then I see it and it’s got a few views. I’m not embarrassed but I did hide it now.

So I believe that should do it. I’m going to be okay, as I’m not popular, so this should blow over, as I’m not that interesting.

19. Catfish

Feel like getting all this off my chest. Not sure why, might help some people avoid getting into situations like people I’ve known and duped get into and also maybe help understand why some people catfish. It isn’t always romance.

I’m a catfish. Or I was. Given it up for the most part. It started about four years ago. I should probably tell you about me. I am 25 years old, gay male living in Europe. I am decent looking, so not a usual fat/lonely/ugly type of person who does this. I was bored and on chat sites, just text ones and looking for partners to cam with, specifically ones that would do what I wanted to see on camera.

I found it easy to find them and they were fine to do whatever I wanted. I got bored of this, the gay guys were all too happy to do my bidding. I changed who I was. I started saying I was female. I browsed a few social media sites (not giving specifics since do not want to be traced), found a girl who was pretty but not too pretty that I wouldn’t be believed and who had plenty of photos I could call up if I wanted. I also didn’t know this girl. I started talking to guys who were looking for girls.

The thrill was instant, of them not knowing who I was. I kept my personality mostly the same since I found it easier. In the early days I found trying to make up a whole new person was too easy to be caught out on. I’d send a few photos and have my fun. Many of the guys who “one and done” never speaking to them again on the site. I made my “new self” an E-mail and Skype account, and started talking to some people more than once. They suggested a few BDSM style social media sites to get profiles on. I made them under female self, and continued talking to many guys. It was part the show, but also part pushing them. Seeing how far they would go.

For the most part, I saw it as a victimless crime. The guys were more than happy to do the things I wanted and they went away thinking they had been doing it for the girl they thought was pretty. As long as they never found out, everything was fine. I did this when I was bored, and found it more enticing and erotic than pornography. It was interactive. I could login to Skype and have one of the guys do a personalised show. I deleted people who asked too many questions, or who I thought maybe got too close.

One or two sadly did end up liking me too much. But why wouldn’t they? A kinky girl who also could talk movies and games. A few times I did own up to who I was. Once, the guy was so into my personality, he kept talking and performing, but the thrill of it was gone.

After about two years, I got bolder, pushing guys into doing more things. And also, a few got more needy for attention that they offered money. I accepted, in the form of gift cards. This has brought me some guilt. Over the last few years, I have taken around $14,000 from them. I have not blackmailed them. I have not forced them to, in most cases they enjoy this practice, and again, they think they are talking to a girl and it excites them.

In this day and age, people have cellphones with cameras and I believe they actually don’t want to know the truth. I would never talk to anyone who couldn’t do a Skype call ever.

Anyway. This is my confession. I have few regrets really. I am giving it up for the most part, it took up too much time, and people are getting more tech savvy for the most part. I continue to speak to a few people just in E-mails, purely because they have repeat gift cards setup to send and I want to keep them going as long as possible.

So, it is not always for romance. For me, it was the thrill, the excitement and later, the money.

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