Are Spouses Allowed To Change Their Minds On Things They Agreed To Before Marriage?

Here’s the thing about marriage, y’all – if you plan to do it for several years or decades, there’s almost 100% chance that the people involved are going to change to some degree.

If you have kids, this goes at least double, because navigating parenthood is bound to change people in big ways.

This woman and her spouse agreed that she would be a stay-at-home mom once they decided to have kids – a point that was especially important to him, since he grew up with a mom at home.

I (25f) had my daughter back in October with my husband(30m). My husband grew up with his mother being a SAHM while his father worked, and wanted that in our relationship. When I got pregnant I was still wfh majority of the time so he reluctantly agreed for me to keep working while pregnant.

We decided that I’d stay employed for the 6 weeks paid maternity leave then quit.

She thought this was what she wanted, too, but after staying home for awhile after her daughter was born, she’s struggling with the disconnect from the adult world and would like to think about going back to work.

I genuinely thought this was what I wanted but honestly it’s been awful. My husband works in Law and has long hours, leaving me alone to handle everything around the house on top of a baby. I felt isolated and overwhelmed and felt like I’d lost my identity.

I love being a mum and I love my daughter but after she’s done eating, changing a diaper etc all she does is sleep. I know that that’s what she’s supposed to do at that age but spending hours alone was hard on me.

The job she had before her maternity leave has offered her a part-time option that’s work from home, so she would be able to rejoin adult conversations but still take care of her daughter, too.

When I handed in my two weeks notice my boss didn’t want me to leave and offered me an amazing job. I’d work part time only 2 days / 3 days rotating each week. On top of this I’d only have to go in a couple times a month if needed and would still get partial benefits and a decent pay.

I was over the moon, I felt like getting back to work would make me feel more myself.

Her husband, though, lost his mind at the idea.

He pretty much refused to listen to her reasoning and even left the house because he was so mad about the conversation she was trying to have.

Her MIL and SIL agree with the husband.

My husband was not pleased at all. He argued that:

I had agreed to SAH before we got married and when I was pregnant.

I was abandoning our daughter and ‘why aren’t we enough for you?’

I’d dump childcare on his mom or my income would only cover childcare and therefore wasn’t worth it.

I tried to tell him how I was feeling but he was too upset. He told me that he would’ve never married me if he knew I didn’t want to raise our child and left to his friends place. He came back 2 days later and only talks to me when its baby related.

It’s been like this for nearly two weeks and I know that I agreed to this years ago but AITA for changing my mind?

My MIL and SIL told me raising a family was the most important job I had and that it would ruin our family if I didn’t.

Who does Reddit agree with? Keep reading to find out!

We doubt he even realizes the irony of what he did.