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Selfies have become absolutely ubiquitous, and as someone who grew up in the 80s and still kind of has a weird relationship with photographs of herself, I’ve gotta say, I don’t hate it. Confidence is beautiful, and being about to see a photo of yourself and not only smile, but want to share it, could never be a bad thing.
That said, it can still be hard for some people to get there – and this guy finds the whole process so awkward he can’t even snap one, never mind sharing them online.
Anybody else feel super cringey when taking selfies and therefore take none?
byu/Cartoons4adults inNoStupidQuestions
He wants to know if he’s not alone, so Reddit’s No Stupid Question forum is the place to be!
15. Is anyone looking?
I always try to hide that I’m doing it, if I do it at all haha.
I took a plant selfie not long ago. I turned beet red in the face when I asked my husband to help me take the photo. I even lashed out at him when he told me how cute that was because I didn’t like that he was “making it a thing”. When I was totally making it a thing….
14. Do it for your mom.
I feel too vain when I take selfies… then end up having like no pictures of myself for my mom.
I’ve had a few girlfriends now that have tried to help me shake my hate. Even after breaking up a few have recommended taking my mom out to different spots (she loved spending time with me more than anything).
When I asked to take pictures with her she was beaming… I’m tearing up just typing this… Actually I just ugly cried for a bit.
I need to tell my mom.
13. Being silly works every time.
The only way I have ever taken the very few selfies I have is if it’s a silly one. That way I feel like “haha see, I’m not taking myself seriously with this”. Feels like it aligns more with who I am.
Social media selfie posts are so prevalent that I was just wondering if there were other people who feel the way I do. Clone #1564 confirmed.
12. Yeah you do.
I am not photogenic so I have never taken a selfie in all of my many years on this earth until last year. I must have been bored or something because I put on makeup which I don’t usually do and took some selfies that included my dogs. I was pleasantly surprised how the photos turned out. I didn’t even really know how to take a selfie.
I posted the pics on Facebook and everyone complimented me on them. The people I have known since high school hadn’t seen me since high school so they really liked my photos. The friends I have made over the years and have never met in person liked my photos as well. In fact, when I said how old I am they couldn’t believe it.
One guy was like, “no way!!!” Yep. I guess I look pretty good for an old lady. Lol.
11. It does take practice.
Yes! I feel like I look awful in any picture, TBH. One eye squinted shut, weird pasted-on smile, awkward posture…like, every single time. Can’t seem to look natural or relaxed in a picture. So I figure if I’m gonna look bad, I may as well be obvious about it and look bad on purpose. I’m not exaggerating when I say that there are more pictures of me with goofy faces than “nice” faces.
Selfies are just…100x worse, for some reason. Take all those issues from above, and then make it look just plain bad. I don’t know why my (very few) selfies have turned out absolutely terrible, but that’s how it is. I’m sure I’m overly-critical of myself, but even putting that aside, I honestly cannot figure out how to get a selfie to turn out ok. So I just don’t do them, except in very rare cases.
10. Also, do it for your kids.
The only reason I can stomach the occasional picture is so my kids know what I looked like back in the day because my parents have hardly any pictures from their youth and It makes it harder to connect… if that makes sense.
9. This makes me sad.
All the time, I never see my pics and think, “hey I look good in this one.” So I assume other people see me the same way and I don’t care to have other people see my flawed face.
Same for me. I can’t stand to look at myself in pictures or videos. For video conferences/Teams meeting, I use my avatar.
But I’m ok with my face in the mirror when I wash up/comb my hair/brush my teeth.
Go figure.
8. Don’t worry about what people think.
You just gotta not care what other people think. I have this problem too.
If I’m feeling particularly confident and attractive, then yeah I kinda wanna post a selfie. Who cares if it’s for attention – it’s human nature to want to attract positive attention sometimes.
So who cares if someone thinks “omg Stacy just wants attention from her selfie” like yeah maybe Stacy is depressed and wants some positive attention who cares?
7. Other people really don’t think that much about you.
You need to realize people don’t care about your appearance. Life’s too short to be afraid of showing your face in social media. I used to be like you until I finally got the courage to use a real pic of me and found out people either will ignore you or type something nice but never will type something mean or rude.
And I am sure you are not ugly but just lack self confidence.
6. Come up with a reason.
I used to as well. But recently I started taking selfies to show off my weird graphic t shirt collection (fish with gun, raccoon with “eat trash hail Satan”, etc.) and honestly having a “reason” for the selfie makes me feel better.
I’m a dancer so most of my pics and videos of me are me dancing and I just want pictures of me doing other things. For myself and for my family.
5. It can depend on who your friends are.
It can also depend how normalized it is in your social circles and social environment. If people around you, your friends and family all did it on a regular basis you’d probably worry less.
I have a mixture of friends. Some take, some don’t.
4. Have a little confidence.
I think it speaks to our lack of ego.
The entire concept of selfies is so self indulgent, I think it’s so weird how often people stare at their own face. Like I couldn’t think of a less interesting picture to look at than one of just somebodies face. But people crave that validation from others so it stuck.
I wish people could be happy on their own.
3. But also, don’t judge others.
Love that for you but it doesn’t mean selfies are inherently bad or egotistical.
People hate themselves daily but when they finally feel good enough to appreciate their appearance, it’s wrong?
If you don’t wanna see selfies on your timeline then dont follow people who take selfies.
You shouldn’t need to invalidate how certain people choose to express their confidence in order to make yourself feel better.
That’s not a lack of ego, it’s just being a jerk.
2. If it makes you happy.
I used to feel that way but then I saw people doing “duck lips” and I tried and each time I ended up laughing , that ended up turning out to produce pictures of me happy and smiling and I started to enjoy seeing those moments.
I’m glad those trends have died, I couldn’t with those faces. Smiling is classic, can’t beat it.
1. OP is definitely not alone.
Me too. I also can’t film myself talking like everyone seems to do these days. I just feel cringy walking and talking to a phone.
Literally started photography because I hated being in photos. If people think you’re good at taking photos they won’t question it when you volunteer to take it instead of being in the photo.
I fall somewhere in the middle on this – sometimes getting a selfie I like feels impossible, but other times it’s fun to share.
If you also hate selfies, tell us how you get around those feelings (if you do) in the comments!
