Waking up is a lot more difficult for some people than it is for others.
I’m usually able to pop right up in the morning when my alarm goes off, but my brother? Oh, my poor brother…
That snooze button can be heard blasting for hours on end…and it is not a pretty picture.
But what if there was a new alarm called “The Rude Awakening” that REALLY did the job of waking people up? What would it consist of and how would it work?
Here are the bright ideas that AskReddit users came up with.
1. That should do the trick.
“It pees the bed and then sends out a blast email/text/tweet telling everyone that you peed the bed.”
2. I like this idea!
“It rolls off the base while making that horrific noise Jim Carrey screamed in Dumb and Dumber while in the dog car.
It keeps getting louder and doesn’t stop until you put it back on the base.”
3. Alert! Alert!
“Nuclear alert sound at full volume.
I actually set this as my alarm. For one day. It’s such a violent sound (hence why it’s used) that it scared the sh*t out of me and I never used it again.
Bonus points for combining it with an invention a friend of mine used to have. The alarm clock would shoot off a little fan which would fly some random place in the room and the alarm wouldn’t turn off until you found the piece and put it back.
So that with the nuclear alarm sound.”
4. That’ll get you going.
“It reads a list of everyone that’s died since you fell asleep, their manner of death, and what you could have done to prevent it.
• Ronald Resiman – 89 – Nothing
• Geraldine Brown – 94 – Nothing
• Sammie Johnson – 96 – Coulda found a cure for cancer
• Brad LaMonte – 91 – Nothing”
5. Yes!
“It gives you wrestling legend Rick Rude’s finisher the “Rude Awakening”……
I feel like this was a no brainer.”
6. Sounds terrible.
“Reads the president’s tweets in Gilbert Gottfried’s voice.”
7. It just might work…
“It monitors your sleep cycle, in order to wake you up at the worst possible moment, using loud sirens, strobe lights and violently rocking your bed.
And if you haven’t jumped out of your bed within 3 seconds, random splashes of ice water and electric shocks will be added to the experience.”
8. Oh, no!
“It’s a George Foreman grill that heats up then clamps onto your bare feet.”
9. Terrifying.
“It gently massages a lightly moistened finger into your earhole, while playing the Jaws theme with ramping volume.”
10. A million-dollar idea.
“Goat screaming to the tune of the national anthem of USA.
And then VERY, VERY loud poop/fart noises.”
11. It’ll scare you right out of bed.
“It generates a current of air on your face and says, “I like what you did with your hair.”
You live alone.”
12. What’s happening…?
“It says random things just loud enough to be heard.
“You were right about that mole, look at it again…”
“But what is the cause of that ice-pick headache you keep getting?”
“There are about 100 feet of pressurized water pipes in your walls, and any one of them, if not multiples of them could be leaking and you have no way of knowing, and knowing that insurance will deny a water damage claim if the leak is more than 10 days old.””
13. Puke city.
“It makes pet retching sounds loud enough to wake you from the deepest slumber.
Once you’ve heard your cat/dog about to toss it on your bed/carpet, there’s no getting back to sleep.”
14. Think it would work?
“Plays a jump-scare to get your attention, then attacks your insecurities.
Hahaha, look at that high-waisted man. He has feminine hips.”
15. I got it!
“Easy. It reminds you of all your failures as you fail to even turn it off.
It’ll ask you division problems. Before you even answer, it will say, “You dumb sleepy piece of trash. You don’t know this. You don’t know anything.”
I’ll call it the “Self Hatred” setting.
The next will be a sorrowful one. It plays depressing music and wakes you up with sobbing. Every 5 minutes it will cry out, “WHY DID SHE LEAVE ME?!” Until you soothingly stroke its snooze button for another 5 minutes.
I’ll call that one the “Sad Sobbing Drunk at 3 am” setting.
I’m gonna stop there. I made myself sad.”
How about you?
What ideas would you come up with for “The Rude Awakening”?
Tell us what you think in the comments!
