One of the things I really love about Reddit is their ability to ask – and answer – totally random questions as if it were an everyday thing that could actually maybe happen.
This one – if you could time travel into the past, but couldn’t bring any physical objects with you, how would you best impress a caveman?
Here are 20 pretty spot-on, pretty hilarious replies.
20. It is a fairly recent mutation.
Honestly I’d just have to hope that having blue eyes is novel enough to make me interesting.
19. They might kill you for food.
We would probably impress them even without trying. Just with the sheer amount of body fat.
The remaining hunters and gatherers are usually very, very lean and even someone with BMI 23 would be considered a fattie.
18. That’s definitely what happened.
Instead of impressing the cavemen, carve pictures of UFOs and aliens into their caves just to screw with modern archaeologists.
17. That seems like a threat.
Pick up a heavy rock.
I think that would resonate with them.
16. It’s very confusing.
By being 6 foot 1, with no body or facial hair and pale af skin.
15. That could backfire if they think you’re a witch.
Memorize the dates of two solar eclipses.
14. Simple to us, anyway.
Depending on how far back, making and using simple tools could be enough.
13. Except then they’ll assume you can take care of yourself.
Impress him by being alive without knowing how to make fire or hunt.
12. Ah, what brings us together.
I have a lot of dumb tattoos. Studies show that early humans were also into tattoos.
We could compare and contrast and mix our styles.
11. You have to go with your strengths.
I’d do a cartwheel. I can’t imagine they had been invented yet and I’m pretty okay at them.
10. I don’t know if “impressed” would happen, but…
Baby Shark.
Didn’t say you had to impress them in a good way.
9. That would impress ME.
Doing the moonwalk.
8. This might be too soon.
Infect them with all the modern contagions I’m bringing back.
7. Better get cracking.
Breakdance battle then get him in an arm bar.
I don’t know how to do either thing so I’ll have to learn before I go back in time.
6. They would definitely punch you to make it stop.
Beatboxing.
5. Perspective would blow their minds.
I draw architecture, and I’m honestly wondering how alien it would be to draw straight cubes and lines for people who’ve only ever lived in natural environments and huts.
I’m probably underestimating them, but I wonder.
4. I’m here for it.
I would do that thing where you twist your palms together and wiggle your middle fingers.
3. Just be yourself.
With my weak ass physical form.
The man would be amazed how I survived and wasn’t eaten by wild hedgehogs.
2. Sounds fake, but ok.
Most immediately impressive, I could probably locate and demonstrate the refinement of some metals. The quality would obviously be terrible, but that’s a huge leap.
I could also introduce the beginnings of math and precision measurement, but that might prove to be a higher hurdle than I think.
Early humans weren’t particularly dumb, it just takes a long time of stumbling around in the dark when you have no frame of reference to create anything.
We also managed to survive through socializing and learning from each other, so I doubt they would be nearly as violent as people tend to think.
1. It works on toddlers.
Doing that thumb thing where you “split” it in half
I’m going to have to really think about this one, how about you?
If you’ve got an answer ready, please share it with us in the comments!
