If you’ve ever worked in retail, you’ve heard it a thousand times: The customer is always right.
But, even though they’re always right, sometimes customers can be downright … weird. Or, at the very least, their requests can seem pretty out of the ordinary. Stupid, even.
Comedian Isabel Zaw-Tun started a hilarious thread on Twitter by asking one simple question: “What’s the most ridiculous demand a customer has made of you?”
She kicked off the discussion with an anecdote from her days of working retail:
As you might have guessed, she got some pretty hilarious answers. People seemed eager to rip on their past customers.
Customers aren’t always the sharpest tool in the shed, as you can see:
While working at a bakery, my friend was asked to put a loaf of sliced bread into the oven to bake it back into a single loaf…
— Andrew Howell (@and_how) February 1, 2020
Sometimes dealing with customers can feel like herding cats, er, birds.
I worked in an aviary with 60+ exotic birds. A photographer came in and asked if I could get all of the birds to fly down and sit in one place for a group picture. I thought he was joking and asked if he wanted them arranged shortest to tallest. He said “yes please!”in earnest.
— Bobby Pesto (@BobbyPesto) February 1, 2020
Look, words are hard, OK?
I worked at a plant nursery. A woman came in and asked me if I had Chlamydia.
"Ummm…no."
I asked her if she meant Clematis. She was very embarrassed.
— Alienna Miller (@alienknitter1) February 1, 2020
If only employees could control the weather! Why didn’t we think of that sooner?
it was a kid so this doesn’t count but i worked a lifeguarding job at a lake and a little girl came up to me livid that the lake had no waves like the ocean. she demanded i make some, so i pretended to call my coworker and request waves
— gunk bby (@hcdizzle_) January 31, 2020
Why can’t you defy the laws of physics, lowly grocery bagger?
Bagging a large grocery order I was told not to use too many bags, and also not to make them too heavy.
Physics has laws, ma'am.
— Elrond Cupboard (@davewal) February 1, 2020
Drugs? What drugs?
Blockbuster. Guy I knew from high school wanted to trade in some games. Open one of the cases—tiny bag of crack flies up, lands on the counter. Minute of staring before he says "That's not my crack." More staring until he pockets the crack and we move on like it never happened.
— Adam Ingle (@meesterbob) February 1, 2020
This brings a whole new meaning to, “Back in my day!”
Worked at a streetlight outage hotline. Got a lot of people convinced that we were tracking them through the lights, but the one that stands out was a little old lady demanding we switch her street back to gas lamps because she preferred them.
— Kingfisher & Wombat (@UrsulaV) February 2, 2020
Ah, yes, gotta love this spin-off of a Disney classic:
I don't know if this counts but when I was working at HMV, a woman came in asking if we had a copy of 3 Dalmatians. To clarify, I asked "3 Dalmatians?" And she angrily answered "I don't know, there could be more"
— Mos Jef (@PanickedIdiot) January 31, 2020
Please apply within.
I told a supermarket customer that, while we had run out of milk, the delivery was in the loading bay and I'd get his milk once the meat delivery was out of the way.
He yelled "I'll have your job."
I assured him "wait right here sir," and got him an application.— Dorian Plum (@DorianPlum) February 1, 2020
This definitely seems sanitary …
Worked in a medical clinic. Woman asked to borrow my scissors at the desk so she could go to the restroom to cut her pubic hair sample b/c she forgot to do it at home and was being tested for lice. 😬
— This IS the BAD Place #2020blows (@deniseisabroad) February 1, 2020
I always knew there was a reason they made us practice the alphabet so many times in school!
In high school I worked as a cashier at a grocery store. One evening, a lady placed a huge grocery shop on the belt and demanded that I bag her groceries in alphabetical order.
— jlsm (@knightrosie) February 1, 2020
And finally, proof that some customer interactions really do have happy endings:
I once had a customer demand that I go on a date with her. 15 years later we’re married with 2 kids. I take customer care very seriously.
— EpicAdam Motovlogs (aka Ordinary Adam) (@EpicAdamMoto) February 1, 2020
And this, my friends, is exactly what the internet is for. We could all use a little more levity in our lives.
Your turn. What’s the weirdest, dumbest, funniest thing a customer has ever said to you?
We’d love to crack up at your stories! Let us know in the comments so we can get a good chuckle.
