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It’s one of those regular occurrences – the kind that are annoying as sh*t, but also not big enough to get your dander really up. But when people cut in line, it always seems as if there should be something pithy to say that would put them in their place.
If you’ve always come up as empty as I have when you’re put on the spot, then this list of best practices could be right up your alley!
15. Try being polite.
I prefer to pretend they didn’t see the line, which can occasionally happen with a bunch of long lines especially if they leave a space for people to get by, I just politely point out the line.
14. So it’s just you then.
— From the old television show “Dead Like Me” —
[A woman cuts in line at the post office]
Rube:: Afternoon, ladies. Are you two old friends?
Woman: Eh, her daughter is in my son’s class.
Rube:: I have a question for you. Is everyone in this line an asshole?
Woman: Excuse me?
Rube:: Is everyone you just cut in front of an asshole?
Woman: Uhm. No?
Rube:: So it’s just you then.
Woman: I have children in the car.
Rube:: I have a cake in the oven. He’s got three minutes left on the meter. She’s got a lunch meeting. We all have a finite amount of time. Now get in the back of the line. And don’t use your children like that — it’s shameful.
13. Queueing is the national pastime.
Cutting in line – The one crime the UK retains the death penalty for.
12. I mean it would probably work.
“Oi Cunt get the fuck back to your place before I drop ya”
11. Excuse me, sir, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Squidward?
Start trying to convert them to something.
10. Yasss queen.
I used to work at a coffee shop at a university. During the transitions we would get a line 4 to 8 people deep. I was pretty quick and could serve people in less than about 10 seconds each. They usually just wanted coffee and the occasional muffin.
On one occasion with 6 people in line a 30ish year old guy steps in right behind the girl I’m currently serving. You could hear the other 5 people grumble but nobody said anything. He comes up and orders a coffee. I pretend like I didn’t hear him and serve the next in line. He gets pissed and says “I’m in a hurry!” “And they aren’t?” He huffs and walks off.
I got lots of tips for the next few minutes.
9. Act like it’s totally normal.
Just go cut back Infront of them, like, walk up, “sorry excuse me” like it’s totally normal.
8. This feels right.
As Finnish person i can’t think better way than keep your mouth shut and look at them furiously while thinking all the things you could say, but then notice that you missed your ‘ opportunity ‘.
7. Take your chicken seriously.
If someone cut directly in front of me I say nothing and cut in front of them. If they complain about it I just say if they are allowed to cut surely I am too. I need this KFC more then u buddy.
6. Every time.
Guys clear the way! We have a VIP coming through!
I use this one every time
5. Being straight-forward works.
“There’s a line. The back is over there.”
I found being straight forward works. Usually they just don’t know.
4. The line is behind me.
People cutting in line is probably my biggest pet peeve and it’s happened to me several times over the years. I always say the same thing: “The line is behind me”. Only once did a young girl ignore me and cut in front of not just me but the person who was in front of me. I said something to her but it was of no use. The cashier did nothing at all about it.
The best one wasn’t the woman cutting in front of me but a woman with a cart full of groceries in the express lane. Ten items or less. I had seven items. I let her put a bunch of stuff on the conveyor belt and then I told her she was in the wrong lane. She looked at me and I pointed to the sign. Ten items or less. Her response was: “I do this all the time”. I said “not today you won’t”. She continued putting her stuff on the belt and that’s when the cashier leaned over to her and told her to go to another lane. She did. When I was about to head out of the store the woman was still checking out. She said, “you must be having a bad day”. I said, “I was having a great day until I ran into you!”
3. Shame them into submission.
Excuse me, sorry, you probably didn’t realise, the start of the queue is back there” point
Is usually enough to shame them, and if not it makes it obvious to others that they’re aware of what they’ve done.
2. IS THERE?
No words need be said.
Whoever is directly behind the cutter cuts in front. Then the next person behind that person cuts the cutter. Then the next, then the next, and so on until the asshole is in the back where they belong.
What’re they going to say? Here’s how that conversation goes:
“Hey, there’s a line here…”
“Oh? IS THERE?” Furious stare
1. I’m sure it’s fine.
Start coughing as harshly as possible, right towards the back of their neck.
Then say “Damn, I knew that trip to west Africa was a mistake”.
Now you’re well-armed the next time it happens to you!
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