There’s no doubt that relationships can be tough to navigate. There’s also no doubt that there are a lot of people out there married to/about to marry the wrong person – but not if Reddit can help it.
This OP is set to marry a man with whom she disagrees on finances, which we all know can be a huge trigger in the most stable of relationships.
She agrees with him most of the time that being reasonable and frugal is the way to go, but she’s always dreamed of being a certain kind of bride and looking a particular way on her wedding day.
So, she bought herself the dress she wanted despite her fiancee’s protests that it was too much money for a one-day purchase.
Me (f29) and my STBH (m33) are getting married soon. Wedding planning has so far been going alright except for few things he and I argued about like the venue and flower girl.
Now we’ve been arguing about my wedding dress, This might sound clichè but ever since I was young I dreamed of having my own beautiful wedding dress, I can afford it but my STBH thinks it’s not okay to waste a couple of thousands on a dress I’m only going to wear once — yes he might have a point there but for one, this is typical price for wedding dresses. and two, because it’s a once in a lifetime thing then why not make sure it’s special?
STBH still wasn’t convinced, and suggested I rent a dress instead of buying one. He started saying that I’m being irresponsible with money and brought up how much money I’ve already put aside to “rent a face” (he means makeup) and wear “fake” hair (he means extension) but I have this vision of what I want to…look like, sort of speak, on my wedding and I think that it’s my right as a bride.
When she found out that he’d supposedly returned the dress, she blew up at him – much to his surprise.
I went ahead and purchased the dress but a day later I found out that it was missing from my closet. I freaked out but he told me he returned it and got the money back. I was shocked I asked him why he did that and he said he thought the dress was ridiculously expensive and that was wasting money and AGAIN suggested I go rent one.
I blew up and went off on him which I’ve never done before. He literally took few steps back and told me to calm down. I said he had no right, I’m the one paying for the damn dress.
He got upset and said that there’s no “I’m paying for it myself” in marriage and that my attitude is setting the tone for what type of dynamic we’ll have in our marriage, he kept on about how I must expect to him to pay for everything while I keep “my money” or spend it irresponsibly (but I never tell him how to spend his money) I responded that he gets zero say in how I spend my money whatsoever.
He called his mother and involved her, and of course she’s on his side – she also thinks it’s a waste of money and she’s going to “ruin” them financially.
he told me that I should grow the f up and stop with the “dream wedding dress” clichè then stormed off to call his mom who chewed me out saying she won’t let me ruin her son’s financial stability with how I deal with money generally.
She too urged me to rent a dress or buy cheaper one, way cheaper than the one I picked and move on but I declined.
ETA for repeated questions: Yes, he still has the money and said he’ll give it back once we agree to a solution.
I think (hope) we all know that OP is not in the wrong here, but let’s see what advice Reddit has for her in the comments.
The top comment asks her to please consider what all of this might mean before she decides to move forward with the wedding.
Image Credit: Reddit
But basically, everyone thinks this has ben a big bullet dodged.
Image Credit: Reddit
We’re all real suspicious of this dude and his motives.
Image Credit: Reddit
This is the advice we’re all hoping she takes.
Image Credit: Reddit
Because this kind of crap is just not going to get better.
Image Credit: Reddit
This is definitely one of those times when we all hope that OP reads the replies and takes them to heart.
What advice would you give her if she was your friend? Drop it on us in the comments!
