This little guy told his Dad that he wanted to learn how to train his dog and his Dad said there were lots of dog training videos on YouTube. So here he is, showing them to the dog! pic.twitter.com/xtBRYexSn6

— Nature's Majesty (@NatureMajesty) February 17, 2018

Didnt mean this when I said clear your plate chlo #outsmarted pic.twitter.com/I0c6IuCc

— Stefanie Humphreys (@StefHumphreys) January 20, 2012

My 13 y.o. son told me that when he hits 99 pounds, he wants to eat one pound of nachos on his own so he can be 1% nacho.

— David Juurlink (@DavidJuurlink) August 12, 2018

Teacher to my son after he gets in trouble: “I’m going to have to call your mom.”

Son: “Don’t call her.”

Teacher: “Sorry but I have to.”

Son: “No I’m serious. Don’t call her. She doesn’t answer her phone. You have to text her.”

— Danielle and Farrah (@effinghandbook) March 12, 2018

Asked my son to box up his leftover mac and cheese at the restaurant and he put the entire bowl in there and I’m not sure if he’s an idiot or a genius. pic.twitter.com/3EVFt9xkqK

— The Dad (@thedad) February 27, 2018

My 7yo daughter: someone at camp said girls aren’t tough.

Me: what did you say to that?

My 7yo, who has had a loose tooth for over a week: I pulled out my tooth in front of him and he stopped talking to me. #parenting

— Katie Cook (@katiecandraw) August 24, 2018

My daughter just tried pizza for the first time. pic.twitter.com/yiPNJgUBJg

— Jody Avirgan – mostly on threads (@jodyavirgan) March 3, 2018

My badass little cousin ordered $300 worth of toys w/o my aunt & uncle knowing. This is a picture of how everyone found out. pic.twitter.com/wHWVhsMBYI

— princess ria (@R_tatas) August 11, 2018

The most “Shawshank Redemption” story you’ll hear today:
My younger son tries to sneak sugar packets out of restaurants and eat them in the car. We’ve taken to checking his pockets, so he stuffed five of them in a hollowed-out breadstick. pic.twitter.com/F81jQuvW7g

— Peter Hartlaub (@peterhartlaub) August 21, 2018

My students had to pick a Marvel character to embody within a resume and cover letter. The idea that you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take lives within one particular student of mine. @RobertDowneyJr @prattprattpratt @vindiesel #iamwfisd #wfisdengineering @WFISD_CEC pic.twitter.com/7pddcxebsK

— Jeffrey Scott Davis M. Ed., CSWA (@ROBODAVISWFISD) May 8, 2018

my sister saw two unaccompanied little children in a trench coat giggling amongst themselves yesterday and i am absolutely howling pic.twitter.com/Q3emyEDxgN

— royse (@Roysenotes) April 15, 2019