The New York Times’ Modern Love column made quite the stir in 2015 when it published the “The 36 Questions That Lead to Love.” But the article and subject matter remain as relevant as ever.

The basis of these questions is a study by psychologist Arthur Arons and four other colleagues. As it turns out, you can speed up the process of building intimacy by asking thoughtful personal questions.

Photo Credit: Pexels

The study examined 36 questions that are split into three sets. As the sets of questions progress, they require more vulnerability from the person answering them. Per the authors of the study,

“One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure.”

Here is a sampling of some of the questions from each set.

Part I

Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Part II

Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

What roles do love and affection play in your life?

Part III

When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

Photo Credit: Pexels

Author Mandy Len Catron also mentioned these 36 questions in her essay, “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This.”

Did you ever think that a set of questions could build intimacy between you and your significant other? Will you ask them some of these questions? Be vulnerable with us in the comments section! We look forward to reading over your opinion.