2. Returns = nightmares

A customer wanted to return a computer that was about a year old when I worked in retail. I asked him what was wrong.

‘It just don’t work.’
I powered it on, gets into the computer, connects to the wireless network, goes online. I open an application, everything seems to be working properly. I show it to him, ask him what’s wrong.

‘It just don’t work.’
I asked him what was actually wrong with the machine.

‘It just don’t work. Are you saying if a car don’t start, it works fine?’

At this point I had enough of the guy:

‘No sir, I’m saying if there was a car and everyone could start it except one person, I wouldn’t blame the car.

3. German

While visiting my family in Germany with my brother who did not grow up there and therefore did not know German. We went to a fast food place to order food during one of the days, as we get up I ordered in English since my brother would get jealous when I spoke German. Anyways, the cashier takes the order, as most Germans know basic English but when my brother tries to order it gets really complicated because of misunderstandings.

The teenage cashier becomes enraged the likes of which the world has never seen from a german and stars snarling off remarks in german on how ‘Americans are lazy jerks who couldn’t possible learn a second language if even needed’. Everyone is looking at this kid, all understanding them, but don’t say anything.

As the kid finished, I calmly look at him and ask to speak with his manager in German. If you guys have ever seen Casper the friendly ghost, you’ve seen this kid. The kid is white as snow and turns around to get his manager. The kid, my brother and I all walked out around the same time, all three of us without a job at the place.