I had a horrible roommate once who shall remain nameless, and I couldn’t wait to move the hell out of that sh*thole.
It was the longest year of my life.
I’m sure you’ve had similar experience, yes?
Then you’ll be able to relate to these AskReddit stories.
1. The final straw
“Didn’t tell us he was schizophrenic.
Would barge into our rooms in the middle of the night wearing a cloak (literally) and rant about alien conspiracies. Believed the ghosts of the house were communicating with him.
The final straw was when he got the flu and beat up another roommate for “intentionally infecting him.” His mother came and picked him up, trying to make excuses.
Honestly I do sympathize for him and his family, but it was still a nightmare.”
2. Psycho roomie
“She sold my credit card info online, stole money, mixed something I’m deathly allergic to in my food, constantly broke into my room just to dig through my stuff, etc.
Every other roommate I’ve had since then has been great.”
3. So many things…
“Oh gosh, so many things. Honestly, the other girls in my hall and I considered writing a book about how weird this girl was. We matched on a roommate site because she said she was tidy, studious, and religious. I’m not a huge partier, study a lot and am fairly neat. She proceeded to:
-invite me to a church where I was yelled at for wearing pants (I wore nice black tights and a long top) instead of a dress and not reading ONLY the King James version of the Bible
-bought fruit scented perfume because it made her smell like a ‘snack’ to guys and would spray it all over the room
-never left the room except to go to church – we’re talking ordered takeout, didn’t go to class, left an imprint in the chair because she sat in it forever, RA had to check on her because her key-card to leave the dorm had only been swiped 5 times in one month
-played loud hymns constantly. It was like visiting my grandmother in a nursing home- she was always listening to old music like Amazing Grace and How Great Thou Art – good songs but not 24/7
-slept with the lights on and would turn them off when I asked then turn them back on the second she thought I was asleep
-thought my gay cousin was flirting with her and followed him on every form of social media, stalking him constantly
-wanted a 20 minute heads up every time I came back to the room and would text my friends asking where I was
-said I was lying about being a size 2 and went through my closet to see if i really was
-told me I was a slut for being in a sorority and going to the occasional party
-told me country music was only about beer and sex (so further proof I was a slut) when I went to a country concert
-her mother called me in tears once begging me to ask her to call home, saying that she hadn’t heard from her daughter in months. mother was the nicest person ever and would come at the holidays to clean the daughter’s room for her
-be put on academic probation every semester I knew her
-at least monthly, she’d overeat so much she’d make herself sick. She would get our RA to drive her to the ER and the doctor would tell her the only reason she was throwing up was that she ate too much junk food. She would then have the RA go through the McDonalds drive thru on the way home.”
“My first semester sophomore year roommate was a f*cking slob (overflowing garbage, messy never-washed sheets, food left out/open). But the worst thing is that he would masturbate while I was still in the room. We had a two-person single room college dorm. Once I was at my desk on my laptop, which faces away from his bed, I don’t remember if I was playing a game or listening to music or what I was doing, but there was a pause in the audio, and I could hear him going at it.
And multiple times I would be laying in bed fairly shortly after I got in bed and turned off my light/cell phone, and I would hear him going at it.
He knew that I worked a few days a week, I had nite classes, and he knew my class schedule. But he still chose to masturbate when I was there.”
5. Howard Hughes-esque
“Lived with a guy who, it turns out, had some Howard Hughes level OCD an*l retentive sh*t going on when it came to the kitchen. He found one tiny speck of bacon grease on the stove top after I cooked some bacon and totally flipped his shit for like 30 minutes. Stomping through the house slamming doors. The works.
The grease speck was barely the size of the head of a pin.
I just stood there staring.”
6. Constant fear
“She is my best friend but living with her was complete torture. I am a very easy person to scare, so she would constantly try and scare me everyday at least 5 times a day for her own amusement.
The worst one was on Halloween one year, we were having a party at our house. She had snuck upstairs to my bedroom, while I was mingling with friends and laid a bunch of fake rubber bugs in my bedsheets and covered them up with the duvet. Well naturally I was so drunk when I went to bed I just pulled the covers off and passed out on the bed.
A few hours later I woke up and in the corner of my eye there was a bug in view and I looked around more and saw loads of them. I screamed. Got up so quickly that I tripped and fell off my bed and into my nightstand, then crashed into the wall (because I was still very drunk) . Then I proceeded to sit on the corner of my dresser for a solid three minutes before I figured out they weren’t real.
Living in constant fear is the worst.”
7. Where to start…
“Where to start. One roommate slept the entire school year on the couch in our living room and would complain if we were too loud. Another roommate walked in on him masturbating with Aladdin on the TV. And the other roommate was really bad at video games and would only play sports games or CoD and yell at them whenever he would play poorly (which was always).”
“- She chewed tobacco and would leave her nasty spit cups all over the house.
– She never washed the dishes to the point she wasn’t allowed to use ours. She used the same pan all semester for her morning eggs; she wouldn’t even give it a rinse. Just day after day after day continuing to cook eggs with cooked-on burnt eggs in the pan. It smelled disgusting.
– She wouldn’t chip in for toilet paper nor would she ever change the roll.
– She ran a house painting company during the summers and she had all these really expensive, tall ladders. She insisted they were too valuable to keep out back and they were too long to get upstairs to her room. So she kept them in the living room.
– She wouldn’t wrap up her sanitary pads or tampons; she’d just toss them in the garbage as is.
– She wouldn’t take out the garbage (see my point above. So revolting!)
– She would use our bathroom toiletries without asking. (Once I found out, I started keeping my stuff in my room and locking it).
– She would eat our food and then say she didn’t.
We hated her so much. Screw you Shannon!”
“He made Mac N cheese on my couch… multiple times. He would also make the thickest chocolate protein shakes, let it sit for days, and put it in the dishwasher without a prewash. Animals…smh”
10. You were wrong
“My worst roommate was a friend who needed a place to live. I let her move in with my boyfriend and I at a house we were renting (landlord was a friend of my parents and he said that was fine). I assumed we would have no issues since she was very quiet, and worked and went to college at the same time, and would be gone a lot. Boy was I wrong. Here’s a list of things that drove both BF and I crazy.
-She let her cats eat chewed up food out of her own mouth while we were in the same room
-She encouraged said cats to attack my dog if he was merely in the same room as her cats. Would be super happy if they did scratch him.
-Shaved her pubes while sitting on the toilet and not flushing, thus creating a forest of pubic hair sitting on top of the toilet water.
-Once my dog bad an accident on the floor while I was at work cause he was sick. She cleaned it up with one of my good bath towels and left the poop covered towel on the living room floor. Acted all offended when I asked her why she couldn’t use paper towels or the carpet cleaning machine we had like a normal human being.
-Told me about a coworker who she thought was creepy. Bragged about getting him fired a few days later… because he said hi to her and made small talk in the break room. She thought he might try to attack her.
-Never helped with house cleaning, etc
-Asked if we could set up cable TV in her bedroom, then never used it when we did. Then she’d intrude while my boyfriend or I were playing video games, and sit and complain out loud how boring it is watching other people play games. Go watch TV in your own room since you begged to have cable set up in there, nobody is forcing you to watch us play!
-Would suck each individual finger clean, loudly, after eating any sort of finger food. Not just after finishing the meal but between bites. Use a NAPKIN.
-One time she made some food and set the plate on the couch, then walked away for something. I was in the bathroom getting ready but saw what happened next, my dog went for it and started going to town on the unattended food. I ran out to stop him but she got there first and hit him in the goddamn face. None of that would have happened if she left her fucking food on the table out of his reach, like a normal human being!
I know there is more about her, but that’s all I can think of at the moment. I know she probably isn’t the worst roommate out there, but she drove me absolutely crazy.”
11. Don’t live with your ex
“Let’s just go with the top 3:
Bought a sugar glider without knowing much about it. So the apartment reeked of tiny marsupial(they’re small, but their scent glands are intense). He also was nocturnal and was constantly noisy at night. She had no idea how to take care of him and screamed at him when he didn’t immediately love her.
Refused to pay rent.
Oh yeah and that time she tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I snapped at her.
Moral of the story kids? Don’t move in with your ex.”
12. Freshman year
“One of my freshman year roommates. Dude was an inconsiderate a-hole in every way possible. He was openly racist in the presence of other whites but around black people he was sunshine and smiles, which we questioned because he was on the school’s basketball team.
My other roommate and I were curious about why he was friendly with the black players when he’s racist and he responded with “It’s different when you know them” which drove us up a wall because it’s the closest I’ve seen a person come to a realization but just come up short. This rubbed us the wrong way because other roommate has a black stepdad and went to a largely black high school and half my family is made up of Cuban immigrants and my son’s godfather is black man.
Also he bathed maybe three times a week, which was an issue because he was on the basketball team. Other roommate and I took the greatest glee when his mom, an employee of the university of the university, called the coach and told him how disrespectful her son is to her. Roommate had to sit on the sidelines in his suit and tie instead of dressed out because of it. Now he’s a white rapper.
edit: I just contacted my other roommate to see what’s up as obviously I try to cull a-holes from my life. Turns out that his rap career flopped like a fat man in a cruise pool and became a high school basketball coach. He had to delete it because the district has a lot of black kids and there would have been an issue as the whitest kid on the planet loves to use soft-A in his music.”
13. Suite life
“We were in suite-style dorms. 4 people per, 2 bathrooms, a living area, and 4 bedrooms. They were tiny, but separate. Thin walls, but we were all in our own locked rooms.
This happened during finals week. This particular night, I was up late, chatting with some friends on Teamspeak and going over some Calc 3 notes. It’s about 2AM.
The roommate who shares a wall with me knocks on my door, asks if I could be quiet. Now, I’m not a person who’s particularly loud on the mic, but hey, it’s finals week. I agree without second thought, drop out of voice chat, and get back to my studying.
A few minutes later, he comes back, knocks on my door, asks if I could turn off my light (which was only coming out under the door. Keep in mind, there’s both my door and his). I’m a bit annoyed, but, I was wrapping up so I figured I could finish up by the light of my monitors and lamp.
Ten minutes pass. I get another knock. I’m getting a bit annoyed, but the he’s just pleading with me to ‘stop making noise’. He seems stressed out and whatnot, and I knew his exam was a lot earlier than mine was, in the morning. Since by this point I was just about done, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was having trouble sleeping?
It’s about 3am by now, so I decide to get to sleep.
Ten minutes pass, oddly enough, I hear our dorm door open. I hear the roommate mentioned talking to somebody, and I hear a woman’s response. Shortly after, the sounds of rather loud sex start coming from his room.
On finals week, this douche begged me to stop studying so he could bang some chick without the awkwardness of “my roommate is still awake”.
I felt a bit better, though, the next day. I ask him how the final he had went, only for his response to be “Oh, that’s tomorrow”. This was odd, of course, because a buddy of mine was in the same section as him and had it that morning. I couldn’t help but take pleasure in the fact that he soon discovered he had missed a final.”
14. Uh oh
“My sister can be a bit much so I can see why people don’t like her sometimes but she had a roommate who legitimately tried to murder her.
My sister is deathly allergic to bananas. She can’t be in the same room as a peeled banana or she’ll start breaking out into hives and her throat will swell.
She had a roommate who was from somewhere in the Caribbean who grew up eating plaintains a lot or something like that and she ate a lot of bananas. All my sister asked was that she eat them in her room and keeps the peels in the trash can in her room.
Nope. She would leave banana peels all over the kitchen and make a big deal about touching all the door knobs all the time.
My sister told her RA and the roommate said my sister was faking it and just being racist.
My sister wound up moving out of there in about a month.”
15. No longer my roommate
“My first year at uni, I lived on campus with 3 guys from my hometown. One of them joined a fraternity, and he would always be in and out of the dorm, and he would always come back late at night drunk, high, or both. I had my TV and my Xbox in the living room at this point, but at one point I took my Xbox to my bedroom because I was tired of him. Then the weekend came around and I guess he thought I went home, when really, I was just sleeping in after a long night.
I keep my door locked all the time just because I don’t want people messing with my things, and he knew my Xbox was in here, and he had one of his friends, who I didn’t know very well, over and they both agreed to try and break into my room. They were unsuccessful in their attempt and I just sat in my room shocked that they would try that. I don’t know what I would have done had they gotten in.
I immediately texted the other two roommates and told them and they just said they weren’t surprised. I never really talked to him much for the rest of the school year. He is no longer my roommate.”