I think the responses you’re going to read in this article are going to be very helpful!
Because we all want to know how to interact with people who are different from us and how to make them feel comfortable, right?
Darn right! One of the best things about being alive is meeting a variety of folks!
Folks on AskReddit talked about how they think introverts really want to be interacted with.
1. They don’t like this.
“I don’t like when someone points out my quietness when I’ve been sitting there the whole time building up courage and/or waiting for the right moment to say something.
When someone points it out, I even become more quiet because now I’m nervous people are waiting for me to say something.
Then I would get teased by comments that I’m “making too much noise over there” when I’ve been sitting silently for what feels like hours. Now I just want to leave.”
2. Boundaries.
“Respect our boundaries and don’t be afraid to invite us left and right. Even if we don’t want to go we really do appreciate your offer, it shows you like us enough to wish for our presences.
Also, if things are becoming really awkward we will greatly appreciate any form of rescue that you could think of. And lastly, give us some time.
Once you get to know us we are pretty decent people, that can be pretty bas**t crazy as long as the occasion is favourable.”
3. Leave me alone.
“I just want to be left alone when I want to be left alone. If I say I don’t want to go out, don’t continue to pester me and make me feel bad about it.
Also, just because I don’t want to do something tonight doesn’t mean I won’t want to do things ever. Sometimes my friends will make plans on a day that I would like to go out and be around people, but they don’t invite me because they think I will just say no.
Social battery is real ladies and gents. Sometimes it needs to be recharged by being alone, sometimes it’s full.”
4. In a group setting.
“If we’re in a group conversation, give us the time and space to talk back/interact.
It’s not hard to recognize who is introverted and such, so make us a part of the conversation.”
5. Draining.
“Kind of an extroverted introvert so not sure if my experience will be the same as everyone else’s but I don’t really struggle with socialization its more that spending time with people is draining in a way.
I feel like I’m subconsciously paying attention to my posture or how I hold myself or a million other things and it just sucks the life out of me and I end up needing time to myself to let all those muscles relax and have my battery recharge.
So I guess what I’d say is pay attention to when introverts need some of that alone time because you people exhaust me”
6. Not a fan of the shallow stuff.
“The shallow conversations that are completely fake k**l me.
Like you say it’s great to see me, but I bet you never even gave me a thought. And you want to get together soon? I mean it when I say it so don’t say it if you don’t, and I know you don’t mean it because I never hear from you.
It’s okay to be nice, it’s okay to be respectful but don’t schmooze me with white lies that you think are necessary. They aren’t and you using them feels cheap. You can be polite and friendly without using these fake overtones you don’t mean. I do it so i know others can too.
I just want to talk to people who are genuine. I don’t understand those that aren’t.”
7. Advance warning.
“Don’t invite us to a group setting without telling us it’s a group setting! I have a friend that constantly invites me to do things. I have no issue with that as I’m comfortable around her.
However, she has started inviting me to hangout with her without the prior knowledge of the other 6 people there. May just be me but just because I’ll hangout with you, doesn’t mean I’ll hangout with you in a group”
8. Make it genuine.
“Have a genuine conversation. Polite small talk is taxing and pointless, and I can always tell when people approach me as a way of “doing me a favor” or out of pity bc they think i’m lonely.
The latter upsets me the most; people tend to talk to you like an awkward child. Being quiet doesn’t always mean shy – theres no need to force someone of their shell.
Take social ques. If the conversation is draining me or I wanna leave I let people know, subtly as to not hurt their feelings, but i notice they either don’t care or don’t pick up on it. I once had a friend stay an extra 2 hours at my house even tho i made it clear i was tired. She has not been back to my house since.
Just be respectful and understanding of how they deal with social situations.”
9. It’s the thought that counts.
“Invite me to things. Even if I might say no, invite me if you want me there. Make me feel like I am wanted.
It sucks being caught in the cycle of being scared to be in group settings but not getting invited and feeling like nobody likes me or wants to be around me.
Part of that is anxiety. But I want to feel wanted.”
10. I’m just a normal person.
“Treat me like normal.
I just get full of of social interactions, and need some quiet, or even better, someplace outdoors with lots of trees, to process the social interactions.
Usually, I’m pretty worn out by Friday, but I will still go out, I just may not stay out all night.”
11. Uncomfortable.
“Don’t force us into a position where we have to be social.
If we like you, talk to us, but if it’s just us doing something, don’t try to rope others into the plans without asking us first and getting approval.
That just makes socializing harder for us and can be really uncomfortable.”
12. FYI.
“From a respectful distance.
The worst thing people can do is get too far into my personal space. Thats an immediate nope out of the interaction if I can. (Although it depends on the company. It’s mostly ok if it’s someone we know well).
For as long as we can handle. Everyone is different, but long interactions can be exhausting.
Very important at least to me: no yelling/strong arguments/conflict in the presence. It can be catastrophicly frustrating, to the point of noping out of any form of interaction in the future.
Oh and another one: don’t be insulted if we talk only to one person in the big group. It’s hard to be involved with everyone at the same time.”
What do you think about this?
Talk to us in the comments and let us know.
We can’t wait to hear from you!
