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There’s no doubt that there are certain things in life that you have to experience yourself to truly understand what it’s like.
And that’s why it drives me insane when some people act like they know what others are going through when they have absolutely no clue.
AskReddit users shed some light on this subject. Check out what they had to say.
1. Terrible.
“Becoming disabled.
Especially while relatively young. You have a house payment, kids, are saving for retirement, furthering or paying for your education, living your best life…then your health is gone and income cut in half (at best).
Disability in America is forced poverty. The losses are catastrophic. Your savings goes first, then your retirement. Next is your home. You hang onto your car for appointments until it breaks down and it costs 2 months’ of income to repair.
You are destitute and CPS takes your kids because you cannot provide for them.”
2. An awful situation.
“Domestic a**se.
Ab**ers are just as good at grooming allies as they are at grooming victims.”
3. Scary stuff.
“A fire.
Even normal beeps kinda drive me crazy after hearing those fire alarms, getting burnt and sprayed with water all simultaneously while hearing the blaring noise all around me while being blind from the smoke and not having my glasses on after being woken up from a d**d sleep.”
4. Grieving.
“Grief.
Before I suffered a personal loss, I obviously realised that it is a terrible thing to lose someone and people’s sadness and grief impacting their mental and emotional well being was understandable – but I had no idea grief could be such a physical pain. There was a void in my heart, and yet it hurt so d**n much at the same time.”
5. In pain.
“Migraines.
The tingling feeling either in your lips or fingers and you’re done.
Or just the reduced eye sight.
Immediate way to mess up your day and the next 2 or 3…”
6. Innocent.
“Being accused of a crime you didn’t commit.
It’s a hard thing to go through.
Even after investigating and and the case is dropped people treat you like you got away with it.”
7. What’s that feeling?
“Love.
First time I fell in love, I could suddenly understand all those cheesy love songs I used to h**e.”
8. Wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
“Poverty.
I thought I experienced poverty as a kid, but that was nothing compared to experiencing poverty as an adult and not having your mom shield you from the ugliness of it all.
When all you can afford is 10 cent noodles for all your meals and you cannot afford to drive an extra mile, let alone have air conditioning in the car in the middle of summer.
Having to constantly save coins because any expense that comes unexpectedly better be fixable with the coins you’ve been storing. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.”
9. A tough road.
“Addiction and recovering from an addiction.
Most people assume that even if you are clean, you’re still lesser than somehow.”
10. Being watched.
“Stalking.
I was five foot ten, weighed 250 pounds and I’m not particularly pretty nor am I anyone noteworthy. I was terrified that no one would believe me or that they would think I was just complaining about an ex and making “drama” over him or something.
I was ashamed to talk about what I was going through with this man, a coworker that I barely knew.
We didn’t even live in the same city, yet. I’d been working at the company for a few months and was trying to move nearby. At first he was just creepy at work, but when he overheard what apartment complex I’d just gotten approved at, he immediately took a unit in the same complex before I could even finalize my move-in date.
I took a different apartment across town instead. (It was a longer commute, but a much better apartment, ultimately) He overheard what gym I went to and took on a membership there and kept trying to get me to meet up with him there. I saw him at the grocery store where he’d follow me around, at the bar after work…
He never actually did anything, he was just weird and clingy and wouldn’t leave me alone no matter how many times I flat out asked him, “Please leave me alone, I don’t want to talk to you.”
Half the time I felt like I was somehow the one in the wrong, because all he ever did was be obsessively friendly, constantly at my side and talking to me no matter whether I wanted him to or not. But he would not leave me alone and I felt scared and unsafe.
Eventually, I started talking to people about the situation and things got better. The manager at the gym cancelled his membership and assigned two trainers to walk me back and forth to my car. The manager at my grocery store trespassed him (I got the impression he was making employees uncomfortable, too) and banned him from the premises.
My favorite bar posted his picture on the bouncer’s list… Ironically, I started feeling a lot safer in the city in general after I started talking about him to the people around me. The police couldn’t do anything, but other people could.
When I found out he joined my gym, I went to the manager and begged to be let out of my contract and explained the situation. He sat me down and got me a water and says, “Oh, honey, no That’s not how this works. He’s the one who leaves, not you.”
And I cried because he was the first person I talked to about it aside from HR at work and he not only believed me, but took measures to protect me. I’ll be forever grateful to him because he gave me the confidence to speak out and trust that people would help.
Before that, I felt like my life was falling apart. I’d just started building a life on my own in this new city and I thought I’d have to abandon everything just to feel safe again.
The police, of course, were useless until the dude st**bed a manager at work a year later, although filing the report meant I was questioned about him during the investigation and I’ll be notified if he ever gets out of prison, so that’s something, at least.
There’s so much unspoken victim blaming in stalking. It’s portrayed in the media as something that happens to pretty, famous women. But I was a nobody, a homely, fat insurance agent who worked in a call center. Who would believe that little old me had a stalker or that I could feel threatened by the scrawny weird guy from the office?”
11. You don’t know what you’d do.
“S**ual a**ault.
Saying they’d fight back if it was them. Or why wouldn’t you report it. S**t like that.
Unless you go through something that traumatic, you can’t know how you’ll react. Especially because the vast majority of s**ual a**ault isn’t by a stranger. It’s someone you know.
Your spouse, or the person you’re dating, your best friend or a buddy of years or just an acquaintance. That fact alone keeps a lot of people quiet because they’re afraid no one will believe that it happened because “he’s such a good guy”.”
12. Sucks.
“Chronic pain.
People cannot conceptualize injuring themselves or becoming ill and being perpetually sore with no breaks or escape ever.
It’s a reality for many though.”
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