Yes, men and women are very different. However, that doesn’t mean we don’t crave and need the same kind of love and appreciation. These brave men on AskReddit opened up about things they struggle with and think about that women may not be aware of.
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#1. You Are Beautiful To Me
“20 years passed before I was told by a woman other than my mother that I was handsome. If you think a guy is handsome TELL him. Chances are he hasn’t heard it in a long time. Obviously some women aren’t very often told that they’re beautiful, and some men are told that they’re handsome all the time but it seems to me there’s still a large discrepancy there.”
#2. Emotional Support Is Hard To Find
“Guys have zero emotional support structure. Like, fuck. Anytime I try to tell anyone I have real emotions or opinions I get shot down to the point where I don’t really feel safe talking to anyone anymore. It’s easily the largest problem in my life, and from what I understand, I lot of guys have to deal with it through out their entire teenage/young adult life.”
#3. I Want You To Want Me
“That as men, we also want to feel sexually wanted too. I had an ex that was horrible, she’d complain about me not making it apparent enough and then she’d complain about me making it too apparent. She’d hate if I was too spontaneous but would then accuse me of being too predictable. Meanwhile, she only twice ever told me I was sexy or that she really wanted me…and that was exclusively in the first month. After a while it was only ever me pursuing her, and her not even bothering to care about pursuing me. After a year and a half I realized how low my self esteem had fallen in that regard and started to emotionally disconnect from her.”
#4. Children Are Cruel
“How much interactions with girls during puberty shape us for our whole life. Ever touched a girl on the arm and she said ‘Eww, yuck!’? Well, we’ll be forever shy in that regard. Girls telling you that you’re weird? We’ll always try to appear not weird.”
#5. Ninja Shit
“That at any given moment, we may just be fantasizing about someone trying to take people at work hostage, and all the cool ninja shit we’d like to think we’d do.”
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#6. I AM NOT A CREEPER
“That when I (a white guy) take my (black) nephews out to the park, I get looks from women that are the “He is a sexual predator”. I have had police come up to me twice because women thought I was there planning on stealing someones kid even though I was there with my nephews. Another time, I was walking with my nephews and a women came up to me, looked at them and said ‘Do you know this man’ they said yes and she said ‘Are you sure, he didn’t take you or is hurting you is he’. This is something that I have heard other guys deal with too, not just myself.”
#7. An Inch Of Cloth Away
“Random boners and our ability to go on with what we were doing. There is an outstanding chance that a guy has spoken directly to your face with a random boner…just tucked up into the waistband, half an inch of cloth away from poking out and smiling at you.”
#8. Define Success
“The requirement to be established. Have an established job, have a house, to be independent. It may just be because of my age but most of the girls I know prefer older guys because they are more likely to have aspects of their lives set up. I have no idea what my future is going to hold, but I keep that as quiet as I can.”
#9. I’m A Real Boy!
“Gender stereotypes exist for us. I’m a stay at home dad. I’ve been called terrible things all because I don’t work like a man should. This happens even though I also collect VA disability because of injuries sustained while in the USMC. I’ve been told I’m not a good role model for my son. Called a degenerate, even though I’m a college graduate. I’ve even been told I’m not a real man. It’s really really depressing.”
#10. It Only Takes A Moment…Or Five
“That men have different response times. Many things we think about are never said, simply because what we think about may not be of any value to say until we find a reason to say it, or that we are still deciding if it’s worth saying. As in, if we are in an argument, we will refrain from answering right away to every question. If you yell and scream and demand 12 questions in less than 60 seconds, we can’t answer them all and cannot think well enough to answer them in the best way. Ask one question, let us have time to process it. Rattling off a dozen as fast as you can could lead to screaming matches.”
#11. Rejection Is Scary For Everyone
“I don’t think some women realize how terrifying it can be for some men to approach them, for any reason. I have thought for awhile that I suffer from social anxiety. For instance, there is this girl that I like on Facebook, and have met several times, usually at get togethers with friends. Anyways, I like this girl, and I am fairly certain if I asked her out she would say yes. But I don’t, I can’t. I have had her as a friend on Facebook for several years, and the only time I have talked to her was when I thanked her for wishing me a happy birthday. You see, I am afraid to even talk to her, not because she scares me, but because I don’t want to say the wrong thing and scare her away, so I continue to do nothing. Fearing and stressing over rejection. It makes me feel so small a man.”
#12. Cuddle Puddle
“Sometimes we want to be the little spoon.”
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