The first time I signed up for an account on NextDoor it was because I’d lost my dog. I never realized, or anticipated, or could in any way prepare myself for the complete and total s**tshow that would come part and parcel with getting to know my neighbors.
Like, the internet has done some wonderful things for our society as a whole, but I think learning about the previously private proclivities and leanings of one’s casual acquaintances is definitely not one of them.
These 13 posts might not technically bring you cheer, but they should make you laugh – if only because this time, it’s not your neighbors.
13. Such holiday spirit!
Don’t be mad yours aren’t done yet, Jim.
12. You’d better hope you didn’t do it before Thanksgiving.
Ousted, you shall be.
11. You gotta love a funny man.
Pithiness is underrated.
10. Just a little multicultural advice.
I hope everyone appreciate this.
9. What would you do?
There are such a wide range of options.
8. What sin has Phil committed?
I really need more answers on this one.
7. This can’t be real.
Even when there’s not a pandemic this can’t be real.
6. The answer is no.
But also…who has a microwave that will fit a 25lb turkey??
5. You would have to be drunk to love people on NextDoor.
You know I’m right.
4. I’m all for being respectful, but 7:30 seems a bit early.
Especially for cats.
3. Legends.
And also the cops definitely are there in spirit.
2. This is not the year for stealing cheer.
We all need it so, so badly.
1. Not a bad gig if you can get it.
But I’m only buying if they’re Olaf-grade.
I really can’t, y’all. If you’re not on the app, save yourself now.
If you are, please share your own sordid tales in the comments.
