There are certain classic elements of a bachelor party: bros, alcohol, the occasional sex worker. This, combined with the expectation for the groom-to-be to behave like a complete jackass because it’s his “last night of freedom,” can often lead to some really bad choices. These redditors bravely shared their stories of bachelor parties gone wrong.
1. CrazyPlato saw some bad rubbing at a bachelor party that’s not the usual bad rubbing at a bachelor party.
I have a friend who had his bachelor party last year. Two of his friends (who were both friendly to each other, but were naturally aggressive and volatile) rubbed each other the wrong way during the first few hours and got into a massive fight. They had to be broken up and sent home. They’d only had time to get one round of drinks at this point.
2. Before you break a glass at your wedding, do like they did at this bachelor party Kejoriv went to and break a bunch of your bones.
I was a groomsmen in a wedding where the bachelor party was a week from the wedding. Groom got so drunk and fell off a deck 3 floors up. Broke both of his wrists and had to have his head shaved so he could get stitches above his right ear. The bride and her family were thrilled. My buddy really hasnt gotten drunk since. This was 4 yeara ago. Ill scan the wedding picture when I have a chance.
3. Of course we all want to hear more of this story from markovitch1928, but it’s far more badass to just say the one part and let it hang there for a while.
We were arrested by the Russian police while walking across a military airfield
4. Take it from EpicSchwinn: make sure you get a makeup artist at your wedding who can cover up massive head wounds.
I nearly missed my wedding for alcohol poisoning/concussion. I drank a fifth of Bullitt, shared a fifth of SoCo with my best man and my groomsmen and I split a 30 rack and a handle of Jack Daniels. I blacked out pretty badly and had a head injury. I passed out not too long after that and in my sleep I was gyrating on the floor. I was cold and my breathing was irregular. They all passed out too.
I woke up like 4 hours before the wedding in a pile of vomit and blood. I drove still drunk to my house. It took 2 hours to shower and get dressed. I had to stop at the gas station to buy some Gatorade. I showed up to to the wedding an hour before the ceremony. Luckily my father in law thought it was hilarious and my wife never knew how bad it was. A groomsman’s girlfriend did such a good makeup job on my still bloody forehead that nobody knew. I wasn’t sober until I was on the stage watching the bridesmaids come in.
Never ever ever have your bachelor party the night before.
5. DrGameSurgery got his friend so drunk, he forgot that he was a doctor and that he could probably tell if his leg was broken or not.
Doctor here, one of my best friends from med school was getting married. During his stag party he got completely smashed and passed out. We thought it would be hilarious to put his leg in a plaster cast. When he woke up the next morning we told him he’d broken his leg and would be in a cast for 6 weeks. He ended up having his wedding and going on his honeymoon with his leg in plaster. He thought it was hilarious when he got back and we told him, his wife not so much…
6. UrbanGimli went to a carny bachelor party. To say any more would ruin it.
One of my best friends brothers was getting married. He was in his early 40’s. Bit of a Neanderthal but whatever, they rent an old beat up veterans hall for his party. I get there and I can tell its not really my crowd as it was full of people who made it to their 40’s but still worked as carnies, vending folk at ball games, burger flippers- I grab a beer and find the few friends I did know who were also hanging out on the fringes.
The girls show up ..tease everyone and go into a rest room to change. They ask the bachelor to go into the room with them. They come out ten minutes later, his face is red, he is happy.
They set up for a chair dance. The dancer tries this scissor maneuver over the bachelor that goes horrible wrong. Her stiletto heel gouges him in the cheek. Blood is running down his face, he jumps up, throws her across the room screaming obscenities at her. His face has this long 5 inch gash that ends at his cheek bone. This is two days before his wedding.
He loses it.
Goes after her, she starts running, her dance partner is screaming and throwing chairs at him. Everyone is trying to stop the bachelor. Her outside man comes running from out of nowhere -big NFL linebacker type and knocks the bachelor to the ground, grabs the girls around their waist and runs out the door. Everyone starts chasing after them (Except us, we’re stunned) and surrounds their car and starts kicking it, smashing it with chairs, beer cans. They peel out of the parking lot crunching the undercarriage because they drive over a cement parking block. Sparks everywhere …I’m glad they made it out of there …but what a mess….
The bride was furious, of course. They postponed the wedding. I thought it was going to be called off but I heard they got married after his face healed up.
7. This story from manbearbatman illustrates how 90 percent of people get pink eye.
At my buddy’s bachelor party his married friend had a prostitute sit on his face and fart on it. I know it’s not the groom but he later got pink eye and his wife was trying to figure out how he got pink eye lol
8. Just like RedElectric, we’ve all got that one uncle who gets stabbed a lot.
Well not me personally, but apparently at my fathers bachelor party my there was a giant brawl for some reason and my uncle got stabbed. The stabber was subsequently beat to within an inch of his life. The bar was closed for three months due to the damage. Fun times!
9. This checks off an item on Bumblebee96’s bucket list.
Well apparently at Dad’s bachelor party he went around with a bucket to get tips so the Stripper who was hired would put her clothes back on. At the same time the strippers manager who was also her Mother was yelling out commentary about what the girl should do.
10. This party story from funky_duck has everything. A May-December romance, incestuous grinding, and of course, lobsters.
It was a joint bachelor/bachelorette party. The bride was 50-something and the groom was 20-something. Some sexy music came on at the club and the bride’s daughter, in her 20’s, began to sexy dance with her mom […] It was weird.
Also the bride’s daughter’s ex-boyfriend was there (for some reason) and (for some reason) he was armed. She began to make out with a friend of mine, in front of the ex, and I figured it was about an 80% chance of a murder happening.
It was a fun night.
Edit: Also I forgot to add that the ex-boyfriend won a live lobster and carried it around until it died.
11. It’s not a good party unless it makes the 11 o’clock news. Right, skippy100?
My brother in laws party made it on to the local news… Some people ate too many mushrooms and 7 ended up in hospital, one went through a plate glass window and got cup up fairly bad.
So of course the ambulance officers call the police who do a drug raid on the house.
12. Hey, here’s a bachelor party that really did make the news!
Some guys In Norfolk, England were getting ready to take a sailboat out for one of their mates’ “stag do” (as bachelor parties are called in England), when they noticed a cop car was stuck in some mud. So all 16 British bros got together and got it unstuck from the muck.
In 2015, a man in Wales got really drunk at a bachelor party. His friends pranked him hard while he was passed out. In an extreme variation of drawing male genitalia on his face, they instead tattooed glasses on his face. Get it? Permanent beer goggles. LOL?
This article was first published by our friends at Someecards.