13 Scientific Studies With Glaringly Obvious Conclusions

In other news, water is wet.

People like to say that when someone says something completely obvious and the result of common sense, but when it comes to scientific studies, I think most of us expect the material to be a bit more convoluted to start.

Otherwise, what is there to really figure out?

These 13 studies, though, had to be full of researchers who knew exactly what they were going to find when they went in, but at least they’re here to delight us all with their completely expected results.

13. Was that some kind of test?

I once did a physics class-lab in high school. They had us measure the temperature of hot water in a jar across time.

Surprise surprise, the conclusion is that hot water cools down if you leave it out.

I had to get up at 5am for that class.

12. There must be a reason.

I’m a psychology student and many if the studies I read about have that quality.

“People are attracted to attractive people”,

“Too much emphasis on statistical significance testing”,

“Water is wet”!

11. I mean I’d be up for that.

A team of French researchers did a study to see if dogs felt the emotion Love.

All they are is fuzzy balls of love.

I think it was just a scam so they could get paid to play with dogs for a few months.

10. I guess it pays the bills.

Not psychology, but I’ve published a “duh” paper. But it was conventional wisdom that previously had not been documented or even discussed in the literature. So I conducted the research and published.

Many people in their twenties consider the geographic locations of their partners and families of origin when making career decisions. Previous literature focused solely on job tasks, work environments, and pay. Literature on families impacting career choices focused on participants in their 30s and 40s, and primarily on the impacts of participants’ children.

It turns out siblings and grandparents matter to many people in their 20s.

9. You don’t say.

The studies they do on universal basic income where they take like, 100 low-income people, give them a free chunk of cash every month for like, 6 months, and then declare the amazing conclusion that those people were happier, and none quit their jobs or stopped working.

8. For about a hundred reasons.

Rich people live longer than poor people.

A gigantic progress in medicine appeared when a doctor found strange that richer urban women would die more often during childbirth than poorer rural women. It lead to the discovery of the concept of hygiene.

Edit: In that case, he correctly deduced that the doctors were bringing something bad to the young mothers and made them clean themselves. I should have added that.

The considerations on water quality and sewage are also correct. Urban health really improved once chlorine was added in distribution water, sewage systems were created and garbage was collected.

7. The word is right there!

I wish I still had a link… It turns out that the most effective solution to the cycle of disinvestment in urban neighborhoods is- wait for it- investment.

6. Anyone who has had a cat knows that.

That cats do understand us to a point, they just don’t bother reacting. I could’ve told you that for free.

My favourite is that cats know their names but that they just don’t care! I have one that comes when called and does several “tricks”, the others are just apathetic to anything that we do.

5. There’s an evolutionary reason for that I think.

Study shows that humans are more empathetic towards puppies and babies than full size dogs and 30 year old men.

4. Where’s the study on that?

I think a lot of it is people raise dogs and cats differently. I know so many people that treat their cats as just a fluffy thing to pet and feed. Their dog however, they take on walks, play fetch with it, talk to it, call it by name since the day they got it, etc. It doesn’t surprise me when they say their cat does nothing when they call them.

I grew up with both cats and dogs, so when my wife and I got our cats we raised them like you would a dog. We spent time with them, played with them for hours, called them by their names, practiced their names. Practiced simple commands with treats. People are shocked when they come over that our cats are so sociable. Like yeah dude, cause I do stuff with them.

3. If only it were that easy.

Microsoft in Japan tested a 4-day work week for 5 weeks.

Productivity jumped 40%. They subsidized up to $920 for family vacations. Employees took 25% less time off even though work days had only reduced 20%. Electricity consumption went down 23% at the office. 59% less paper was used.

And wait wait, get this guys, you’ll never believe it:

92% said they liked the shorter week.

So productivity increased, consumptions decreased, the work got done, your staff are happier and take less time off, your profits in theory increased as your bills decreased…

Hmmm, wonder if it’ll catch on…

2. Is this…news?

That bisexual men exist. I, as a bisexual man, was shocked to say the least.

A lot of those studies have conclusions like, “Turns out, we are all attracted to the same sex to a certain degree!”

I suppose, but you would have to get straight men to admit that they know when other men are attractive first.

1. What if you like to drink both?

Harvard did a study that said beer drinkers are more likely to go to sporting events and wine drinkers are more likely to go to the theater.

Talk about no s**t.

My favorite part is how they still report the conclusion as if it’s supposed to be very exciting.

What’s your favorite example of a “water is wet” study? We want to hear about it in the comments!