Some people just adore flowers, and cards, and those little candy hearts, and going on a date night with the rest of the couples in their town.

BUT THE REST OF US PREFER CYNICAL SARCASM AND 8 SHOTS OF TEQUILA.

If you’re the latter, these 14 anti-Valentine’s cards are compiled in a lovely gallery, just for you, to fuel your passion for drunken independence and boost your lifelong YOLO-SOLO status.

#1. For the vodka enthusiast.