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In some ways, maybe it’s better to learn right away whether or not your new job is the right one for you.
In other ways, it’s got to be pretty embarrassing and other things, too, to end up getting canned before HR even manages to process your paperwork.
That’s just what happened to these 14 people, though, and honestly the stories are pretty epic.
14. He must have had a really rough night.
Guy slept through two meetings on his first day.
The second meeting he started snoring.
13. He almost got away with it, too.
The IT crew at a large government office worked on a ticket system, meaning that the government workers submitted their problem online and one of the IT guys would pick it up on their end.
The new guy just started his first day, logged into a computer at an empty office, and submitted a “reinstall entire OS” request so he could spend all day there.
The manager decided to check in on him before lunch to see how he was doing, and he was completely asleep. Fired before they even finished his hiring paperwork.
12. Faster and faster.
One person didn’t show up for their second day citing culture shock and then spent at least an hour each day complaining about everything to HR. They were gone inside of a month.
Some other bloke refused to follow processes and called his manager “an irrelevant woman” in team meetings. Gone within a week.
My “favourite” was technically a new coworker from my perspective only as I’d only just become aware of their existence. They interpreted “we’re going to retire that server from production” as “we’re going to throw the hardware off of the roof into a skip” and proceeded to head down to the data centre, power the thing off in the middle of the day, drive to his friend’s office, plug the box in and deploy a bunch of IVR scripts he’d derived from our proprietary scripts so they could run a bunch of psychic and sex hotlines.
He was gone within 10 minutes of getting that server back.
11. They seem smart.
Spent my summers in college working as a laborer for a construction company. Anyway, we were doing a bunch of renovation in an active hospital, so noise and dust were a huge concern. We were a small crew and just starting renovations on an area with a super tight schedule, so the company hired a subcontractor for some of the work.
Enter these two clowns who show up to do some demolition work. Foreman gives them the talk about how they may be used to doing things a certain way, but this is an active hospital so he’d rather the work take longer than for them to make a huge mess or a lot of noise. An hour later, we apparently got multiple complaints about the noise and the mess, so the foreman calls me up and says to go over there and clean up NOW, and that he’d be by shortly to see what the hell was going on.
These dudes had dust and broken wall everywhere. I could hear them half way down the hall, just smashing away without a care in the world. The foreman shows up and we walk into the room to witness this dude standing on a pile of rubble swinging a sledgehammer over his head at a brick wall that he’s removed the bottom from. Somehow the rest of this wall is still hanging from the ceiling, I have no idea how. Guy wasn’t even wearing a hard hat, apparently oblivious that at any moment that wall might give way and crush him.
The foreman lost his f**king mind on these guys. Kicked them out immediately, and got on the phone with their company and told them he didn’t want to see these guys on site again. Lots of choice four letter words were used, even threatened to fire the subcontractor entirely and get someone else to do the work.
10. It was just a salad, sir.
New director starts, at lunchtime goes to cafeteria, pays for the first salad plate (by weight), then goes back twice for refills without paying.
Cafeteria has cameras, cafeteria manager talks to the Partner in charge.
New Director fired before the end of day.
9. To be a fly inside his head…
Guy got hired, went through training and all that jazz.
First day on the floor, he disappeared for 3 hours and then came back high as fuck on like meth or something.
A manager found him in the bathroom aisle, staring at himself in the mirror.
Said manager looked at the cameras after firing him, the guy was there staring at himself for at least 30+ minutes.
8. This makes me angry.
A man was hired to do stock at a tea store that sold lots of delicate China.
Manager walked into the back on his like third day and saw him just throwing boxes of tea cups and teapots. Instantly fired.
7. So many bad decisions.
Coworker quit his job, great job, great pay, great benefits to work in a radio repair place.
I mean, gotta do what you love and he was also a big radio enthusiast.
Got fired the first day on the job for stealing parts for his own radios at home.
Took him over a year to get back with us. Surprised they rehired him.
He then got fired for being a security risk about a year or so later.
6. Which most people know.
Guy had been working a few days at a barn.
Decided to smoke right by bales of hay.
Manager saw him and fired him right on the spot.
At farms, you don’t f*ck around with fire.
5. Talk about not giving af.
Corporate chain restaurant. New server, aged mid 30s.
Third day he was working we had to fire him mid shift.
Why?
Dude went in to the public rest rooms, with other guests clearly in there using the urinal, and started doing lines of blow off on the edge of the sink.
4. I’m sure it was an “accident.”
As a teenager, I worked at a bowling alley.
Within an hour, a new girl was fired on the spot for dropping a ball on the foot of a complaining patron.
3. This would have just stunned me.
I called a temp agency to get someone to help me count inventory. They sent a guy over with a cast on his arm…. That was my first wtf but I went with it because we were just counting parts.
Then I came back from lunch and this dude was in my office chair zoned out and drooling on himself with a can of air duster in his lap. I kicked him awake and escorted him out of my warehouse.
Never used that temp agency again.
2. Textbook addiction.
On our first day of training there were about 30 of us in a room and we each had our own computer. The instructor said it was okay to use the computer for personal stuff during down time but the only rules were no games and no p*rn.
One guy got fired before lunchtime, because he just couldn’t resist the p*rn.
1. How?
5 days.
My boss hired an “Executive Chef”.
Dude didn’t even know how to make a quesadilla.
I would die if I saw OR did these things, I think!
If you’ve got a story that would fit on this list, please share it with us in the comments!
