15 Examples of “Movie Logic” That Are Completely Useless in Real Life

Image Credit: Pixabay

Sometimes, writers must get tired of researching stuff, or they must just decide no one will care if that one little detail doesn’t technically work in the situation. Most of the time we let it go in service of following the larger plot (and still enjoying the film), but it’s still funny to pick out some examples of when “logic” in a movie is totally off when it comes to how things work in reality.

#15. Hanging from a ceiling fan.

“It drives me nuts every time a movie has a scene where a person is hiding on the ceiling a few feet above someone else and they never see them. Just because the camera is angled so the audience can’t see them doesn’t mean a real person wouldn’t notice Tom Cruise hanging from their ceiling fan.”

#14. The entire sheet.

“When a woman gets out of bed after sex and pulls the ENTIRE sheet off the bed to wrap around herself”

#13. Most cars.

“Like 99% of car ‘jumps’ are phony, most cars would destroy the suspension or at least blow out the tires.”

#12. Knocking someone out.

“Knocking someone out always seems like a roll of the dice. Some movies a person is knocked out for hours as they are moved to a secondary location. Other times they wake up within moments and are right back to fighting/shooting/playing.”

#11. Just a scratch.

“People jumping through windows, breaking them and landing on the shards but not getting a scratch.”

#10. It won’t work.

“People who work in retail or as a waiter/waitress just saying “cover me” to their co-worker and leaving in the middle of a shift to go take care of a personal matter, catch a murderer, etc. You can’t just tell a waitress to cover twice as many tables like that. It won’t work. And you won’t work either, ’cause you’ll get fired.”

#9. The bad guy never notices.

“When the good guy follows the bad guy in a car and the bad guy never notices even though they are the only two cars in the road.”

#8. That’s not how fights work.

“The main character is an absolute beast in fights with common mercenaries then suddenly loses all of their muscles in the final battle and it takes 50x longer than it should. That’s not how fights work.”

#7. Salon fabulous.

“Cutting my own hair in a gas station bathroom while I’m on the run and when I leave it’s salon fabulous.”

#6. A very awkward ride home.

“Sitting in the back seat of a car and casually reaching forward to snap the neck of the person in the driver seat. It does next to nothing if you do it like they do in movies and it makes for a VERY awkward ride home.”

#5. Just add some gas…not.

“Firing up a vehicle that’s been sitting for years just by adding some gas that’s also been sitting for years.”

#4. Absolutely no reason.

“Flying airplanes and helicopters extremely low to the ground.

There’s absolutely no reason to fly a helicopter between buildings during a car chase. There is absolutely no reason to fly an airplane 200′ above the ground when they can effectively drop bombs from miles in the air.”

#3. Shooting each other.

“In that scene where the good guy gets completely surrounded by bad guys with guns.

I understand the principle, but if those guys actually opened fire, they’d just end up shooting each other in the face. Fields of fire people!”

#2. Straight to nuclear options.

“The idea that we have nothing in between small rockets and fucking nukes. Shit like Pacific Rim or Godzilla where it’s like, small missiles don’t fucking hurt something, so we jump straight to nuclear options or other ridiculous ideas.”

#1. Way more specific than necessary.

“I’ve posted this before but if they also turn on the TV to get to the exact beginning of a news report that is not only super relevant, but also way, way more specific than necessary:

click “…John, I’m standing in front of the nuclear-powered thermo accelerator which was invented by Dr. Emil Schuffhausen who mysteriously disappeared late last year in what authorities are calling the ‘Mystery of the Decade’. Dr. Schuffhausen, of course, also has an identical twin brother Dr. David Schuffhausen, who is currently serving life without parole after murdering his wife even though her body was never found. The nuclear-powered thermo accelerator was due to be completed and operational tonight but the mainframe has been infiltrated up by the nefarious “Black Skull” hacking group who hold it for ransom so everyone should expect slight delays on the 10 Freeway. I’m Tom Smith, Traffic Reporter, KSL..”click

EDIT: Just because people are asking – yes, Dr. Emil Schuffhausen is a Dirty Rotten Scoundrels reference. Here’s the first scene with him if you want to watch Michael Caine and Steve Martin mix is up. (Background: both MC and SM are conmen and have made a bet on who could get Glenne Headley’s money first. Martin is doing it by pretending to be paralyzed, Caine is pretending he is a Dr.)”

I hope we didn’t ruin the movies for you!