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Everyone tells lies sometimes, but most of us live in enough fear of being caught in those lies that we do our best to make sure they’re too believable to question. That way, even though there’s still a chance we could get busted, it’s at least unlikely.
These 15 people did not care, I guess, whether or not they got caught – that or they were not bright enough to figure out what they were saying was completely ridiculous.
15. Some things never change.
My brother told me I was a dragon and I totally believed him.
Man I was a dumb kid, but now I’m a dumb Adult.
14. Someone is always playing favorites.
“We’re not playing favorites.”
Was told I needed to buy my own car as a teen and I did. Following year my baby bro was given a free car. He’s 15 mos younger, is now 56 still living at home. Ugh
13. Three days later…
I can finish this CIV game tonight…
12. What, this old thing?
In high school a buddy told me that he didn’t steal our other buddies watch.
He was wearing the watch when I asked him about it.
11. They can add, you know.
As a tax accountant, I’m told lies about how much money people actually made all the time during tax season.
My favorite was a guy telling me he’s broke because he only makes $35,000/year in NYC so my (very reasonable) fee is too much for him. He says this after he asks me if he can deduct the new BMW 5 series he just bought his son all cash.
10. He just doubled down.
In grade school my neighbor stole my water gun that came with a backpack tank that launched a stream of water.
Way better than the super soakers.
Anyway, he had it and I went to take it back and he said it was his. He liked mine so much he got his own. I flipped it over and showed him my name on the bottom of it. He said:
“I liked yours so much, I wanted mine to be the exact same so I wrote your name on mine too.”
9. Pay no attention to the writing on the wall.
“The company is in a great shape so don’t pay any attention to rumors about financial trouble”
8. Bless his heart.
A childhood friend and I met up for coffee one day after not meeting for a few years.
He casually “let it slip” that ever since he earned a black belt he has had to register with the state as a “human weapon”.
7. Smart kids.
When my little brother mixed like 50 condiments, including sprinkles, ketchup, cereal n stuff, into a bag of popcorn an ate it telling us it was delicious when his face looked like he’d just ate 10 extremely sour warheads at once.
He later admitted he just wanted us to eat it but we never did.
6. That’s the only way it will happen.
“We cannot give you a raise right now, but we will compensate you as soon as the budget allows”.
Turns out “when the budget allows” is “when you already have another job offer and put in your two weeks notice”.
5. E tu, Mom?
One time my little brother tried to make me a sandwich ‘just to be nice’ but said sandwich was just chocolate chips cookies covered in mustard between two pieces of bread. He clearly wanted to see how I’d react and I of course refused to eat it.
He told our mom I was being rude and the worst part was after she actually saw the sandwich she still said I was supposed to humor him. I just threw it away and told both no.
4. When there’s actual written evidence.
“I never said you had to sign the document if it wasn’t true”
Says the person with three emails telling me to sign a document even after I said it wasn’t true sitting on her outbox.
3. Every kid with a dry toothbrush everywhere.
“I did brush my teeth, I swear.”
2. It’s never gonna happen.
Any Lieutenant saying that the platoon can go home early on a friday if you work hard right now.
1. At least he knew he was busted.
I was picking up a sofa from a guy I found on Kijiji and he stopped me right before leaving to see if I wanted to buy a mirror he was also looking to get rid of. I wasn’t really interested but my wife seemed keen so we stopped in the hallway to check it out.
He said “It was a gift from my son in law. It’s a beautiful mid-century antique. I’ll let it go for $75.” He went on about what an amazing mirror it was and even told me “pick it up and feel how sturdy it is!”.
I picked it up (it was really heavy actually) and took a peek at the back and saw a sticker from Value Village with a $30 price tag. I kinda chuckled to myself and asked if he would go any lower than $75. He said “I really couldn’t”. Then I said “Well, I can see a tag from Value Village on the back here…”
We ended up getting the “mid-century antique” mirror for $15 and me and my wife still laugh about the amazing deal we got on it.
I suppose sometimes people panic when caught in a situation and just say something – anything – believable or not.
Has this ever happened to you? Tell us the story in the comments!
