People tend to think of sexual harassment as something a man does to a woman, but it’s important to remember that it happens to men, too. And regardless of who it happens to, it’s never okay. Whether done by a man or a woman, another human being making you feel uncomfortable or violated is an experience a person never forgets, and these 15 men were brave enough to share their stories.
#15. I did not
“A senior colleague grabbed my crotch at a work event and when I asked her what she thought she was doing she said “all men want that”.
Surprisingly, I did not.”
#14. Bit of a mess
“Might want to put a serious tag on this.
But yeah, happened a while back. I was drunk, and she viewed me saying “no” to her as a personal insult and kept trying to get on me, and was fairly forceful about it.
I then (while intoxicated) had to walk the stupid tightrope of physically removing her from the room so she didn’t force herself on me, all while not actually hurting her at all or causing her to fall over lest she call the cops.
This was before cellphones had cameras/video, because that would’ve made it so much easier. Also would’ve stopped her from banging on the door after I locked her outside. Bit of a mess.”
#13. Borderline stalker
“Hell yeah. It bordered on stalking.
There was a girl I met through a mutual friend who took a shine to me immediately. For one, I just wasn’t attracted to her. For two, I was in a weird place and wasn’t up for a girlfriend. And this girl was a princess type, we’d seen her try to mold guys she dates into what she considered husband material. However, I still tried to be her friend (mostly because we had mutuals), but she wouldn’t quite give up the chase. I turned her down three times, quite bluntly saying I wasn’t interested. But her princess complex was bad, and she didn’t like being told no. Suddenly she was showing up at every place I hung out. Didn’t think much of it, it’s a small-ish town. After a couple weeks of her consistently showing up at the same spots as me, I knew something was up. After a couple more times having to turn her down (persistent, this one), she started dating my roommate just to have an excuse to be at my house. Literally, I’d come out of the bathroom and she’d be standing her. I’d come out of my room and she’d be standing there. It was creepy, and also when I started sleeping with the bedroom locked. Funniest part, she asked him out by FOLLOWING HIM HOME.
Finally, after one night she decided she’d had it. She showed up at the bar I went to on Sundays, started trying to get my friends to convince me to date her, and when that didn’t work she took matters into her own hands. She apologized for being weird and said she was okay being my friend…and offered to buy me a drink. Me being naïve and already kind of drunk, I accepted. Well, drink after drink after shot after shot kept coming, and next thing I knew I was shitfaced at the hands of my stalker. Her only problem, she was dumb enough to do the shots with me and was even more drunk. Nobody wouldn’t drive her home, so somehow I wound up being the one who had to do it. Should I have called an Uber? Well, it was 2015 and I didn’t have a smartphone…so I didn’t know how that stuff worked. When I drove her home, she admitted to memorizing my social schedule, using my roommate to get close to me, and even getting me drunk to try and take advantage of me. Then she gave me this whole spiel about how I’m broken and refuse to let my walls down, blah blah blah. We got to her house, she kept trying to get me to stay over, and after leaving the stalking finally ended. Likely at the urge of our friends.
The kicker though? I got sympathy from a total of 3 people. Everyone else gave me the whole “Oh boo hoo, you have a girl who wants you” kind of crap. Those double standards are nasty. I can’t stress enough how creepy this girl acted. Following us home, showing up in my house, memorizing my schedule, not leaving me alone in public, chasing away other girls, basically trying to molest me, it got real weird.”
#12. I didn’t want to make a scene
“Co workers wife at a Christmas party. She came up and grabbed my nipples and got real close. I was a little terrified, but didn’t want to make a scene. Just tried to slink away as fast as possible. Also couldn’t help but wonder if I acted that way to a female at the party…”
#11. Cried all the way home
“I had just broken up with my abusive girlfriend and I went out to party at a club. I got way to drunk and ended up going home with a girl. We made out but as she went down to take my pants off I realized that I was way to drunk to have sex and I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy it.
I tried to push her away but she just ignored me and took my pants off. I had trouble speaking or doing anything because I was so drunk but I managed to say that I needed some water. She let out a big sigh but to my relief she left me alone and came back with a glass.
I took two really big sips before I realized that it was fucking vodka. I was so angry that she would even think of doing that even as a joke so I tried to get up to leave but she pushed me down on the bed and started to blow me. I tried leaving but I was to drunk to stand. Eventually she got on top and started riding me for what felt like an hour all the while I’m just there trying not to puke everywhere counting down the seconds for this to end.
I don’t remember what happened more than that but I woke up the next day and she was sleeping in my arms. I felt disgusted and violated but I managed to sneak out without her noticing. I cried all the way home and spent a couple more hours crying in my shower.
Now I have a nice girlfriend who I know would never do anything to me but I am still too anxious to decline sex if I’m not in the mood because I’m afraid that she will just drug me and do it anyway.”
#10. A former band teacher
“A former band teacher sexted me after I graduated and was in my 20s. He’s a guy and so am I. Turns out he did that sorta thing a lot and wound up getting arrested for having an indecent relationship with a student.”
#9. I quit right then
“I worked for a guy who used to talk about being bi and made creepy comments all the time. He once told me that he could make himself ejaculate without touching his penis, which I thought was bullshit until a doctor actually confirmed it was possible.
Either way, the guy made me very uncomfortable but paid me a lot of money so I stayed on. Until one day he crept up behind me and groped my ass, literally touching my anus (through my pants) with his finger.
I quit right then, told him to fuck off and never saw him again.”
#8. I felt ashamed
“I had a teacher that would grab my nipple in class and pull me the front of the class.
A different teacher, while we were alone in a utility closet getting projection equipment asked if I wanted to fuck. I was a virgin and socially awkward. I lost confidence in myself and felt ashamed.”
#7. It just made me sad, really
“I lost my virginity against my will at my first party while in high school. She was in the grade above me, but nearly 2 years older. I was just drunk for the first time in a large group and she made moves I had not the mental capacity nor emotional wherewithal to fight against. Shit fucked me up for a while. It wasn’t like I didn’t want to have sex, and she was hot… so am I allowed to complain? Do I even tell my friends? So I just didn’t.
I never told her how much that confused me and for the balance of the year she was at our school I barely talked to her. It just made me sad really. When I got over the fact that I didn’t want it that way, and it wasn’t my fault, I guess I just got sad. It hurt me most that when all was said and done… I was done with it but I never said anything and knew I wouldn’t. I was just sad cause I wanted to talk it out and it took me over a decade to do that with my now wife.”
#6. I didn’t feel like it was okay for me to say no
“I was raped by my girlfriend when I was about 20. She wanted to have sex, I said “No,” she said, “Too bad,” and more or less forced me. It didn’t even register as rape until more than 20 years later. I didn’t fight or anything, because I’m a guy, which means I’m supposed to always want sex, and also you can’t rape a guy, right? I didn’t feel like it was okay for me to say no.
It’s honestly not traumatic. But it’s a thing that happened.
EDIT: It might be worth mentioning that she was almost 40 at the time.”
#5. I couldn’t get her to let go
“I once had to claw and crawl my way out of a girls bedroom when I was about 20. she was really drunk and REALLY didn’t want me to leave. I actually couldn’t get her to let go of my arm. I’m a pretty strong dude and this girl was on some superhuman shit that night. After pulling her entire body (she was a pretty big girl) across the room, I collapsed and she tried to drag my ass back towards the bed and so it was literally me trying to drag myself across the floor with this 250lb girl attached to whatever she could grab onto. We were friends and I saw her all the time, so I didn’t want to just boot her in the face and run…so I dragged both of our weight all the way to the door, which actually took a couple full minutes (seemed like an eternity), all the while she is screaming at the top of her lungs “don’t leeeeeave!!!”, finally I get the door open enough to crawl into the hallway and thankfully she let go and I just walked away.
We never spoke of it, and she never tried anything like that again.”
#4. Most people laugh
“I don’t know if this counts but I used to volunteer at a retirement home and the old ladies would slap my ass and some would hold my arm and try to take me to their room. I imagine if I was a girl and it was men doing that it would be taken seriously. Most people laugh when I say it.”
#3. Super mad and mean
“By some drunk lady when we were tailgating at some NHRA races. She flat out says she wants to go get naked with me in my camper, referred to me as a “sexpot.” I was there with my girlfriend at the time, and let her know that, but my GF wasn’t around to witness any of this…she persisted that she “wanted my body.” I told her no thanks, sorry, then she got super mad and mean and said I probably voted for George Bush and was going to work at Malt-o-Meal for the rest of my life. I did not vote for Bush, not that it was really relevant, and did not work for Malt-o-Meal, so it was very odd.”
#2. I was shocked
“Was sat on top of a row of benches at the bus station late enough that it was empty. Was about 15; some guy got off a bus and walked past behind me and stroked my ass.
I was shocked enough to not do anything other than scowl at him as he looked back (probably to see if I was keen)
Felt so annoyed at myself for not calling him out for being a pedo scumbag (he was in his 30’s at a guess)”
#1. I didn’t want to see it
“I was working at a Renaissance Festival and a transwoman started hitting on me, hard. I tried to politely defer as much as I could…and then at one point she pulled up her skirt and showed me her surgically-made vagina. I didn’t want to see it; I didn’t ask to.
I’m not into transwomen, so I proceeded to avoid her altogether for the rest of the event.”