Do you remember some of the things that were rattling around your brain as a young kid? All kinds of crazy ideas, beliefs, thoughts, etc.
You might’ve thought monsters were real, or that unicorns galloped across the land. Hey, we were all young once, right?
AskReddit users reminisced and shared the stupidest things they thought as kids. Share your own remembrances in the comments below!
1. A true profession
“I thought burglary was a profession and that criminal’s shifts started when the sun set and they’d be on all night robbing houses. To calm my fears, I would put my blinds up a little, lay down in a pile of stuffed animals and freeze, staring out the window.
My thought was I’d look like a doll and if a burglar saw me through the window, they wouldn’t realize I was a human and then I could get up and call 911 when they looked away. I fell asleep in that stuffed animal pile every night for 2 years.”
2. That is good
“Not me, but my son. He didn’t want us to get a new TV because he liked the shows on the old one.”
3. Okay, that’s weird
“When I was about six I used to think sex was just a hug because my parents called it a “special cuddle” and I knew it had something to do the the balls. So I thought when a man and women hugged the balls went through the mans skin and into the woman’s body, then either came back or regrew?
(I’m a little fuzzy on that detail) but I concluded that if two men hugged they would just swap balls so I punched myself in the balls, went and hugged my brother for the ultimate prank. I asked him “do your balls hurt” and he was like “no?” So realised I had just punched myself in the balls for no reason.”
4. Want a sandwich?
“When I was a kid, I thought ice cream sandwiches were literally two pieces of bread with ice cream in the middle. I really wanted one. I went to ask my mom if I could have one while she was napping and she half-consciously said we didn’t have any.
I said, that’s okay! I’ll make one! She said nothing. I quickly learned ice cream sandwiches were not, in fact, two pieces of white bread with a spoonful of vanilla ice cream in the middle.”
“My dad told me that Tiger Woods had a brother called Lion Woods.”
6. Wait a minute…
“When we were little my twin sister was convinced that chicken,beef,etc was produced by vacuuming the meat out of the living animal. The animal would then walk around all wobbly and meatless until more meat grew back.”
7. Happens all the time
“I thought catching on fire as an adult is common because of all the fire safety in elementary and them beating “stop, drop, and roll” into our heads.”
8. I did, too
“Quicksand. I thought it would play a much larger role in my life.”
9. That’s amazing
“Aerosmith’s “Janie’s Got A Gun” was popular when I was a kid. My mom was dating a man named Jamie. I assumed the song was about him and he had a gun. I was terrified of him. He was also a heroin addict and found out later that he did in fact have a gun..so I believed all songs on the radio were about people I knew.”
10. Sex Ed is important
“I met someone who thought “sleeping together” literally just meant sleeping in the same bed, and freaked out that she would get pregnant when on a school trip they required people to share beds. She was 14. Everyone on the trip was a girl. This is why sex ed is important.”
“I noticed that I was able to jump off of the playground and land on my feet and be perfectly fine, so my child mind immediately decided I was a super hero and could land from any height and be perfectly fine. I went to my friend’s house, jumped off his roof, and the next thing I remember is crying until my mom picked me up.”
12. Treated to a live show
“I thought that every song that played on the radio was being performed somewhere live, and when you turned up the volume the singer would sing louder at his/her venue.”
13. Same here!
“I’m sure this is pretty common but I used to think before colour tv everything was black and white. I remember as a child asking my Nan what it was like when they saw colour for the first time.”
14. Yearly leaves
“Every year the trees in our yard would lose their leaves.
Every year my Dad raked up the leaves and put them into yard waste bags.
With me so far?
Kid-logic dictated that my Dad kept the bags of leaves in the shed, so he could glue them back on to the trees next spring.
I did not grow up to become an arborist.”
15. Urban legend
“Swallowing gum makes it stuck in your stomach for 7 years or something.”