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15 People Describe the Biggest “Failure to Adult” They’ve Ever Witnessed

Look, we all have those days when we just don’t want to be an adult, right? We eschew all responsibilities in favor of Netflix, a good book, takeout, and pure laziness. We put off grown-up phone calls and the rest of it for a few hours or even and entire day, but we know how to take care of ourselves.

That’s more than we can say about these 15 people’s friends, who honestly, may not make it on their own.

15. How could he not figure this one out?

Okay this is not quite a whilst adulting but…

For as long as I can remember, my father had red eyes after showering. I didn’t even think about it. One day as a teenager a friend slept over and in the morning she saw my dad dressed and ready for work, freshly showered, red-eyed. She asked him why his eyes were red and he simply said “shampoo.” She then very carefully and as respectfully as she could muster asked him why he didn’t close his eyes, and he laughed and said “what do you think, I’m an idiot? Closing my eyes in the shower! Sheesh!”

My dad did a lot of things that embarrassed me… But that one was prettttty high up there.

14. Not that sort of oil, hon.

I’ve got two. A girl I knew in college. Her dad called once to remind her that every so often she needed to put oil in her truck. She did. Then her truck started smelling like french fries and then died. Even after trying to explain it, she couldn’t understand that this was directly related to the quart of vegetable oil she put in the motor.

Another time, another party back in college, a guy demonstrated how to shotgun a beer by shoving a steak knife into it and twisting it. Also some of his hand. He panicked like crazy. Made all kinds of noises and waved his hand around freaking out and getting blood all over. He was a bit drunk, though, and these things happen.

He got a bandage on it a minute later and he was fine.

13. I just threw up in my mouth.

Grown ass woman telling me it’s easier to wipe do one big wipe (from ass to vag) instead of wiping vag first then ass last…….

Well guess we finally found out why she suffers from multiple UTIs a month

12. Yeah, wouldn’t that be nice?

When my friend bought a house a month into home ownership she asked me, very pissed off, when the city was coming to cut her lawn because it’s starting to look like weeds .

It was awkward when I had to explain that she needs to cut her own lawn or hire someone.

11. His boss oh my god.

I had to teach my boss how to “go down to the next line” by hitting Enter on his computer keyboard.

10. You have to leave it running for a while.

Oh man I had a friend who was really upset because his car kept dying and he kept having to jump it.

We talked for a bit and I offered to jump it so at least he could go to the mechanic. We go to his car and I help him jump it and he turns it off and says “thanks, I’m just gonna go eat real quick and then I’ll go”.

I then have to explain to the poor boy that we’d have to jump his car again but at least he probably doesn’t need to go to a mechanic lol.

9. At least you know he could read.

I had a friend who I noticed took Mucinex A LOT.

I’ve used it occasionally, when I’ve been congested, but it seemed abnormal how often I saw him taking it. I finally asked him why he was taking it one time, because he didn’t seem sick at all, and he looked puzzled and said “well, I think I’m getting sick”.

I pressed further and he said “because it’s an expectorant”.

It turns out he thought “you take an expectorant when you are EXPECTING to get sick”.

8. Wow. And a parent, too.

I had a relative try to put her son on the school bus his first day if kindergarten and got upset when the driver refused to let him on because he wasnt on the list.

She never registered him for school and just thought she could put him on the bus and send him.

7. I don’t even know what to say.

Girl I went to HS with: “why do people say a quarter of an hour? Like what does that even mean?”

Me: “it’s 15 minutes. Because 15 is a fourth of 60, so that’s a quarter of an hour”

Her: looking at me like I’m a fucking idiot “But a quarter is 25…”

Me: ..

6. Someone in this story is a whacko, anyway.

Had to ask my roommate to please wash his hands after touching raw chicken.

He was cool to just…go about his day before I asked. He thought I was being a wacko neat freak.

Same guy also thought his sheets wouldn’t fit in the washing machine so he just…never washed them.

When I asked him please not drop silverware down the garbage disposal and leave it he said I had too many house rules.

5. Cooking may not be his strong suit.

I had a roommate at university who’s “cooking” method was put baked beans in a Tupperware, seal the lid, turn on microwave, when lid pops and explodes beans everywhere they’re cooked.

One time I came home to find the oven on and smoking a bit. Opened the door to find what was an entire lasagne bubbling on the bottom of the oven. He bought himself a frozen lasagna, step 1 “remove outer packaging” step 2 “place on middle tray of preheated oven”

He literally thought that outer packaging was anything outside of the lasagne, so he tore away that shell that the lasagne cooks in and placed it straight on the rack, so as it defrosted it just fell through the rack and all over the oven.

4. That’s definitely a thing.

My ex best friend had told me that she had needed to buy another new vacuum cleaner, the 3rd that month.

I asked her what was wrong with it and she said “It’s not picking things up anymore!”

So I asked if she had dumped out the container… she didn’t know that was a thing.

3. I can see this happening once or twice, but more?

One of roommates in college would go though plastic spatulas like crazy.

She’d melt them and wouldn’t say anything about it. She’d only tell me when I’d go to use it and wonder why it was messed up. She’d always say it was due to the spatula being made of cheap plastic.

No.

I finally caught her one day. She’d be cooking something and would walk away LEAVING THE PLASTIC SPATULA IN THE PAN WHILE IT WAS STILL ON!

2. Bless her heart.

I work graveyard shift and I had to explain to a coworker that at midnight, 12:00 am/0000 hours, it is the start of a new day.

She then had an anxiety attack because I was telling her that “today is not Monday anymore, today is Tuesday now”

1. No one taught him to tie his shoes?!

I was a drill sergeant in the US Army. The first time you have to show an adult man how to shave is a little shocking. The worst one was the 24 year old male that didn’t know how to tie his boots.

He had gotten through reception and pick up day by tightly lacing his boots and tucking the laces in. As they would loosen up throughout the day, he would just pull them tight again.

The first Sunday I noticed his boots were barely staying on as he was marching back from dinner. I asked him what was wrong with them as it’s common for privates to have the wrong size boots when they get to us.

He didn’t know how to tie them. At all. Not a single knot.

I spent an hour showing him how I tie my boots and different techniques if he gets hot spots or blisters. Then I assigned his bunkmate the task of making sure they were tied correctly when he left the bay.

I kind of understood it. He came from a super poor neighborhood, single mom that worked all the time, he didn’t have a lot of positive influences before joining the Army. I was a little worried about his comprehension skills since basic rifle marksmanship is kind of intense and takes some focus, but he did well. I was very happy that on family day he had his low quarters tied and was proud that he had learned so much.

These are sort of appalling, don’t you think?

Have you ever witnessed a fully-grown adult really struggling to get by? Tell us the story in the comments!