It’s a sad fact of life that people judge each other A LOT.
Whether it’s about serious issues or pretty trivial things, the fact is that you’re probably going to get judged by people no matter what.
People on AskReddit talk about the things they wish they could vent about but are fearful of being judged.
Let’s see what they had to say.
1. Not a fan…
“I hate my husband’s ex-wife with a burning passion. I keep it to myself because most people will think it’s a jealousy thing. It has nothing to do with jealousy. I am confident that I ended up in a far better situation than her.
I hate her because she uses their daughter to hurt my husband. She does not consider how badly she is hurting her kid by using her as a pawn. Her obsession with vengeance far outweighs keeping her daughter’s best interest at heart. It sickens me that any mother would think convincing their child that they are being abused is acceptable.”
2. A tough one.
“My oldest son (4) and his autism. Love him more than life itself but Lord he’s fucking infuriating and hard work, especially during the Lockdown period. He thrives on routine and all the shit he likes to do is closed so every day is a broken record of him running through shit he wants to do, wife and I explain they’re closed, need to stay indoors etc.
But he just doesn’t understand and thinks I’m being a dick by not taking him to his things he likes. I mean he can’t even spend time with his grandparents or cousins. Barely sees them now except through a window in short bursts so that’s another issue which saddens us all. He has very little opportunity to blow off steam.and self regulate as he doesn’t want to go out unless it’s for something he wants to do like go to the park (which, shock, he can’t because they’re closed).
Wakes up at half 5 in the morning which wakes up my youngest son (1) and the day begins and it’s so long. He never pauses for breath and it’s a constant stream of demands all day long, plus you’re juggling ths with a, rightly, temperamental 1 year old and a wife in a constant battle with depression.
People usually say something like “Oh, kids are hard but, you know, you wouldn’t change them”
I would. I love him but if I could suddenly make him not autistic anymore, I would in a heartbeat.”
3. Dealing with an eating disorder.
“I want to tell someone in my family about my anorexia. But i genuinely feel like they’re the kind of people that don’t understand eating disorders. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t need them to know everything, I just need empathy and to know that somebody cares.
But if I told them I feel like the things they’ll tell me are; “Just eat, it’s not that hard!”, “You know I had anorexia before, I felt self conscious and didn’t have my appetite for like 2 days..”, “It’s your fault for letting this happen!”, “But you eat, how can you have an eating disorder?”, “You’re already skinny why would you starve yourself?!”, “But you’re not thin enough to have an eating disorder..”
I know that some people don’t know what to say or how to react when someone tells them about their eating disorder, I don’t need a full on therapy session, I just want to know that they care about me.”
4. No excuse.
“Just because you have mental health issues or personal “demons”, doesn’t give you the right to treat other people like shit.
I recently left a 5 yr emotionally abusive relationship and because of my upbringing with a bi-polar mum, i let someone else with mental health issues emotionally abuse me. She had social anxiety, depression, and before we met attempted suicide after an abusive relationship.
She made me feel bad for being me and at the same time made me responsible for her mental health. She looked at my phone, made me feel guilty for having friends (especially female friends), I was at uni and basically became a hermit stuck in my room with her, comforting her after some new “Disaster” that was normally self inflicted on her part.
It really fucked with my head to such a degree that I still feel a sense of guilt when seeing friends. I’ve moved back home and while it’s better than before it’s still tough.
Dealing with my mum’s bipolar again has made me realise why i let it happen, and frankly i don’t have the patience or strength to deal with it anymore. I feel like screaming sometimes, my mum has already said and done a number of horrible things.”
5. Irritated.
“Being in shape is a condition of my employment. I have access to 4 separate gyms with all the equipment I could need but they are all closed.
I mentioned this to a couple people and they said “my personal problems aren’t as bad as the people dying from this corona virus”
Yeah I know! I wasn’t turning it into a competition nor was I downplaying the deaths of people! I am simply irritated I can’t work out the way I want to.”
6. Damn kids.
“The kids across the street.
When they are out playing it’s so loud. And they spend most their time crying. I just want to yell shut up!”
7. Not going well.
“I moved back in with my parents for quarantine and I hate it I hate it I hate it. I’m fucking miserable and turning into a person I don’t like again because I’m so miserable here. I wish I hadn’t come back and I wish I could leave.”
8. Scarred from an ex.
“I haven’t dated anyone in 5 years because of my ex. He’s basically a sociopath. The things he said and did to me left lots of emotional damage. I’m afraid I’m undatable.
I’ve resigned to myself that I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life. I’m lonely but I think I’m okay with that. I’d rather be lonely than hurt all over again.”
9. Can’t burden anyone…
“My relationship with my parents imploded a few months ago and I haven’t told anyone about that because all my friends have ok to great relationships with their parents.
The only friend I have with difficult parents is going to tons of personal crap now with her kids and husband so I can’t burden her with my problems.”
10. In a tough spot.
“I feel happy when everyone else around me is sad.
I was extremely sad for most of my school life but suddenly I found myself accepting who I am but I can’t say the same for my friends. One was gay but he couldn’t tell his mum because she wouldn’t accept him, one was under pressure because her parents made her work so she would be one of the best and the rest were just depressed or had serious anxiety.
I feel horrible because I just want to give them my happiness so they don’t feel bad and adults don’t do anything about it.”
11. In a battle with weight loss.
“I’ve been trying to lose weight for the past two years. Im always on a rollercoaster when it comes to weight loss. I was doing pretty good until the whole Shelter in Place ordinance occurred. Since being back home with my parents (I’m normally 1.5 hours away for school) I’ve gained back all my weight and lost my muscle.
I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself. It’s not really just about being skinny but being healthy again. At my highest, I weighed 294lbs and now I’m back around it. In the past year, my lowest was 255lbs. I was doing so well and I fuck myself over.
Losing weight is hard when other issues take up my mental capacity (my mom puts a lot of strain on me). Sometimes I think about liposuction but I know I would never be able to afford it nor would I be able to live knowing I took the easy route. I don’t know anymore. I’m just so tired of being fat.
I’m tired of looking at myself in the mirror and seeing dissatisfaction and disappointment.”
12. The friendship is over.
“My best friend of two years broke off our friendship. Which I could understand if it wasn’t for the circumstances. She would get frustrated and scream at me, not respect me, throw temper tantrums as a full grown adult.
She left me stranded in a parking lot and sped away one evening. The worse was when we were sleeping over at her boyfriends house. We were in the same bed (me and her) and her boyfriend starts sexually assaulting me. I was raped a few years before this and him doing that to me trigger a bad ptsd reaction.
A day later she told me to get my stuff from her place, that she left outside, and to never contact her again. She didn’t have enough respect to even talk to me. This was back in October of 2019 and in March of this year she wished me a happy birthday, but my birthday isn’t in March. I texted and told her she needed to apologize to me for acting like that and she blocked me.
It drives me crazy that she did that because I’m positive she texted me on purpose. But I do feel better about demanding a apology and her blocking me. I got the last word which might be a bad thing to feel good about but after months of feeling terrible after the whole issue, it’s nice to feel good again.”
13. Maybe you need some new friends?
“I’m the one white person in my friendship group, which isn’t a big deal but it means most new people I meet through my friendship group also aren’t white, which again isn’t a big deal.
The only problem with that is I hear “I hated you before I got to know you because I thought you were just this dead white kid” (dead here meaning boring) so so often. So many of my friends friends are just full on assholes before they even know me, e.g. Ignoring me in conversations or making snarky comments.
I don’t really feel like I can complain because a lot of them have the “you can’t be racist towards white people” mindset, but it’s so draining having to constantly prove myself to them.”
14. Pissed off at Dad.
“I’m exhausted and don’t know what to do. Last week my dad, who’s in his late sixties, apparently spent $10,000 to buy bitcoin from some guy who phoned and claimed to work at a bitcoin brokerage firm. He didn’t tell my mum until a few days later, and was sure he was going to make like $50k in profit from it.
My mum was furious and they had a big argument, and he promised he would never do it again. The ‘broker’ phoned back today and my dad spent three hours on the phone with him and ended up buying another $10,000 worth of bitcoin. And it’s money my parents really don’t have – it came out of their mortgage.
My mum called me in tears this afternoon about it, saying she didn’t know what to do. I called my dad and tried to reason with him, and he was sure he would get rich from it and I told him that even if bitcoin went back to an all time high, at most he would make $5k. So he agreed to try cancel the second purchase.
Then as I was getting ready for bed I decided to look up the company and it turns out it’s a big scam. Some guy based in Hungary (who lied and said he was based in the UK). So I called my dad and told him and he doesn’t know what to do.
And so I called his bank, and it’s too late to reverse the second transaction, and the best they can do is try get the funds back if the receiving bank will cooperate. But now it seems hopeless and I’m scared for my parents, and for the sake of their relationship, and for my dad’s mental health going through this.
But what hurts the most is my sister and I had been saving money to try give them $10k as an anniversary/birthday present to help pay down the mortgage, and we both have decent jobs but hardly earn a lot. And it makes it so hard to justify saving money for them when dad just gets these stupid ideas and impulsively spends $20k on apparent bitcoin from some guy on the phone, without even checking that it’s real.
I just don’t know what to do and I’m furious with him but also just need to help them and don’t know how.”
15. Couldn’t tell anyone…
“Wife and I chose to abort a pregnancy when it was discovered the baby would’ve been born with a most likely survivable genetic defect…
What pissed me off about the situation was the fact we couldn’t tell anyone except the genetic counselor and our doctor. It pissed me off that we had to hide it for fear of judgement or reprisal.
I absolutely respect some parents who choose to keep the children. You all have a lot of patience. However, we would not have had financial means to provide a “normal” life for the child, much less patience(we already have one normal kid).
We could not have lived with the idea that after we died they would have to be on their own under the supervision of the state or our first born son. We just didn’t think it was fair to bring the child into this world.
I hate that their is so much judgement regarding decisions like these. It’s as if people think we’re monsters yet none of those people would’ve had to deal with the issue.”
A lot of people are holding all kinds of things inside…which we know isn’t good for them.
Hopefully, they can find someone to talk to soon.
What about you?
What are some things you feel like you really need to vent about?
Talk to us in the comments!
