Fact: relationships are fluid. They’re constantly evolving, sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad. And sometimes it just needs to end but one spark is needed to send a relationship over the edge to its death.
In this AskReddit article, people opened up about the tipping points in their last relationship. Hang on tight!
“I was leaving the gym and told her I would be over to her apartment in about 45 minutes after I showered. I kid you not, at the 45 minute mark she was texting me upset that I wasn’t there yet. I apologized and told her I had to go to the bathroom so its taking a little longer but I was on my way and almost there. Showed up at about the 50 minute mark, she would not open the door beyond leaving the security latch attached, and only to tell me to fuck off.
So, after about 5 minutes of trying to reason with her to let me in and her responding that she didn’t want to hang out anymore because I took too long because I was probably talking to “some hoe at the gym”, i decided to leave. When I got back to my apartment I figured might as well entertain myself and play some video games. About 40 minutes later she shows up to my place banging on the door. I happily open the door thinking she changed her mind!
She sees that I was clearly playing video games and enjoying a glass of wine, walks over and picks up the wine and throws it on the ground pissed off that I found something to do other than stare at the wall because she didn’t want to hang out with me. She sees how in shock I am at her reaction and tries to brush up the broken wine glass with her bare hands. She is bleeding and crying and im in shock and pleading with her to stop because she is tearing her hands up. I suggest she leaves and that was the last time we were in the same room together. What a whirlwind of a relationship that on was!”
2. Not treating her right
“He kept treating his dance partner better than me (would take her out for drinks to try she hadn’t before, took her shopping with him, post photos of her online, etc) but wouldn’t hold my hand in public, nothing about me on social media whatsoever (totes fine but if you go on and on about how great your dance partner is and making it seem like your girlfriend doesn’t exist, it doesn’t feel great), etc.
I have no issue with female friends or dance partners, but don’t pay for dinner and drinks with them and then have your girlfriend pays for every single date night (I dropped $70 for a movie night, $40 of which were his drinks).
Dude still hits me up whining about how we could’ve worked out, how he misses my cat, etc. I dumped him over a year ago.”
3. Not gonna get better
“Things had been going downhill for a long time, and we ended up in marriage counseling, which was actually what did us in. Sitting in a room with her refusing to listen to me and her own counselor about things going on in our relationship really clued me in to fact that things weren’t going to get better.”
4. Paint colors?
“We moved into a house together and things were a little on the rocks, but I figured I could work a little harder and she would too. I had my doubts as she was a control freak and really only took what I said about things at face value (really saw that later on after we split). We had a huge fight about the living room paint color.
She said it was just awful and couldn’t put up with it. We went round and round about it for a week or so until I finally just decided I could concede on this one, but that I got to choose the bedroom color. She described it as a cream color, but like adding too much creamer to coffee. “Disgusted” was her word for it I want to say. Anywho, I’m standing in the paint aisle on my day off and utterly exhausted from a week of work and remodeling. I’m dead ass tired and she’s combing through the paint swatches.
She finds the color and we get it mixed. We end up in an argument in the car as I’m opting for bed and she wants to paint. I told her it is better to do it during the day so we can open the windows and let it air out better. It was currently raining and I didn’t want water marks. It escalated and grew until she finally just got so pissed that she left. I decided to be nice and start painting the opposing window wall to at least show her I heard her thoughts. I got it all mixed up and dipped the roller.
Rolled over once and it all hit me at the exact same time: I was sick of her and her controlling attitude. I was done feeling like an ass for things I didn’t do wrong. I was tired of living her dream life. You know why it hit me? That paint was the exact same damn color as the wall.”
5. That’s a dealbreaker
“When my now ex-wife was arrested for having a sexual relationship with one of her female students…”
6. That’s a GOOD tipping point
“When she drove 4 hours to meet me at the hospital where my mom was dying. We had not been together for long but she comforted me in such a way that i could never forget. I knew I loved her and I married her 1 year later.”
7. That’s awful
“He and I had this moment, lying on the bed, listening to some music, in my room, while the sun was setting, the city buzzing away below us, after a long day and I felt this wholesome feeling, like I knew where I belonged. And right then and there, he looks at me and said: “if you ever leave me, I’m gonna make your life a fucking hell.”
Guess I belonged far far away from him.”
8. Can’t stop, won’t stop
“She wouldn’t stop sleeping with her ex boyfriend and then decided to marry him. She told me this via text.”
“His crack addiction reared its ugly head – after he was clean for more than a year.”
“She started telling me how she had to defend me to my friends after I had to miss watching a show with them to go into work. My friends told me that wasn’t true and she spent the entire time shit talking me.”
11. Refusing to get help
“I got tired of carrying her to bed after her nightly binge drinking. Also, her complete denial of being an alcoholic and refusing to get help.”
12. I can breathe again
“Month after month after month, excuses why he couldn’t pay rent. And yet he would spend all his income on eating out, online gaming memberships, etc. Would also try to guilt trip me into getting him stuff constantly. 1 day we went to visit relatives in another state during the week before xmas and my uncle snapped.
He told him off about how he’s manipulative and can see that what he does has dragged me down as a serious burden. I didn’t attempt to intervene, he was absolutely right. And after we left, ex bitched me out for not stepping up for him. We broke up the day after and suddenly I felt like I could breathe again.”
“He was going out during the night to see two other girls. TWO. And when I saw him during the morning he would be tired as hell (because obviously he was out) and tell me he had sleeping issues. I found out he was cheating on me with the two girls when they both saw me hugging him and went to scream at me. For the karma part, the three of us agreed to leave him and not talk to him again, and I’m still a friend with one of them.”
14. Makes me feel sick
“She would threaten me with physical violence and self harm for years if I ever left her, I was made to choose between my friends or her, certain threats made if I’d choose friends over her etc. having to be in contact with her at all times if I wasn’t with her, going through my phone and years of messages with my closest friends whilst I’m asleep etc, deciding who I could follow on Instagram, be friends with on Facebook based off how attractive they were or if she deemed them as a ‘threat’ etc. even if they were long term friends – Makes me feel sick thinking about it all again.
Crazy shit. I was younger and didn’t realise how abusive she really was – lost a lot of friends because of her.
She eventually did another one of her ‘fake’ break ups and I decided not to crawl back to the person that would always tell me that no one else would ever love me etc. said “Okay, I’ll pick up my stuff tomorrow” or something along those lines and then she obviously freaked out realising I wasn’t falling for her tricks and playing into her usual games. Haven’t seen or heard from her in four years now.”
15. Didn’t learn a lesson
“She just kept getting drunk and going crazy. I had to call the police on her because she took a bunch of pills when I left during one of her binges. She would call me at night often, drunk as hell and yell at me, and then threaten to cut herself when I refused to come over at 1 in the morning. She still drinks to this day.”