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Did you ever think you definitely, absolutely, 100% found THE ONE…but then it didn’t work out and you had to end it?
It’s pretty soul-crushing, but it happens to the best of us.
In this AskReddit article, people weighed in on what happened with their ex-lovers.
#1. Cheater
“I was engaged to a guy I’d dated for 3 years and planning a destination wedding. He cheated with a mutual friend one night. His mom (who he lived with while we were apartment hunting) accidentally walked in on them in the middle of it while letting the dogs out. He didn’t know his mom had seen, but his mom called me and told me what happened. He denied it when I confronted him which made it worse. Called off the wedding and broke up, etc.
Weirdly enough, he got married about 5 years later to someone else in the exact same destination wedding location/venue/package/colors I had always dreamed of and planned out for us. He must have kept my planning binder and just reused it or something.
Edit: whoa this blew up! Made a clarity edit because guy did not sleep with his mom. Answering some questions here:
Could his mom have been wrong/was it a plot to break you up?
No. He finally came clean after I said his mom had walked in on him and called me. And the mutual friend admitted it to me too when I confronted her. His mom was basically sobbing when she called me because she didn’t want us to break up, but knew she should tell me. I’m actually sad about losing the mom so much more than my ex. She was awesome! Some other things were revealed about him later too like he lied about finishing his degree at university and had failed out instead. I dodged a big bullet for sure.
2) What happened to the mutual friend?
Well, she and I definitely stopped being friends. She wasn’t even apologetic when I confronted her. She had also been in a relationship that she broke off. They ended up dating for a while after that which was a bit of a mess because my ex and I ran a large, well-known community together. The rumors of what happened got out, but I attempted to be civil about it for the sake of the community. They, however, parked in the front window of the weekly venue and made out for everyone to see as a way of announcing their relationship. Super classy.
3) What happened to me?
I ended up moving across the country a few months later, meeting the man who is now my awesome husband of 8 years, and we just had our first kid last year. I’m much happier with this outcome!”
#2. Very rough
“She cheated on me. Multiple times. On her trip to Europe. Which she is still on.
I saw the Facebook messages on the computer where she was still logged in. Then she lied when I called her on it. This all happened about 4 hours ago.
I’m at a bit of a loss… I was planning our engagement. I’m glad it happened now I guess.
Very rough though.”
#3. Good thing you got out of it
“Every time we fought she would throw her engagement ring somewhere, make me get it, then make me plead with her to put it back on. Even for very small disagreements and even in public. That was the final straw. It was very fucked up feeling begging somebody to be with me all the time. It gave me huge insecurity issues.
That was on top of the fact she began to call me names and hit me a lot. It all started after we got engaged for some reason. Things were so perfect but as soon as she got that ring everything changed. Suddenly she what I mentioned along with calling me a loser, piece of shit, and ugly a lot.”
#4. Honesty is key
“Found credit card statement on the floor once, just before a family holiday. thousands in debt that he’d never told me about. I’d been paying the rent entirely by myself in a job I hated and I was too young and naïve (23) to realise he wasn’t an honest man. That was it.
We still chat every now and again. We wanted different things in life, so the argument that followed was the straw that broke the camels back. My next partner (now husband) had a lot of debt from a failed business, but the difference was he was honest about it, so I didn’t care. Money doesn’t trump love, but honesty is the bedrock of any relationship.”
#5. Sounds like a romantic comedy
“She was in love with my best friend. And they were both in denial about it. They were engaged a month after we broke up.
Edit: Answering questions. They both told me nothing physical happened and I believe them but they hung out a lot (which was pretty normal because we were all friends in high school) and I’m pretty sure they were already emotionally involved because she started to drift away (emotionally).
They were both nice about it and asked if I’d be okay. I said yes because they seemed like they would be happy together and I cared about them both but I don’t hang out with them all that much because as nice as I try to be about it I still feel betrayed. I still talk to my best friend every once in a while but it doesn’t ever really get any deeper than the “what are you up to these days?” texts.
And for everyone commenting been there and me too: I’m truly sorry. I sincerely believe that there’s someone for everyone. Whoever you lost wasn’t that person. As they say in Meet the Robinsons: “Keep moving forward.” “
#6. Worst fear came true
“She wanted to go to Florida for the Disney college program. (She is a huuuge Disney nerd.) She was too scared she would lose me. I convinced her to do it because if she didn’t, she would regret it forever and that no matter what happened I would still be here for her.
6 months and an engagement ring later she told me that while in Florida she realized she didn’t love me like she thought she had. The ring is in a box in the back of a drawer in my dresser. Her worst fear came true. So did mine.”
#7. Tragic story
“My mom was dying. It was my last Thanksgiving with her. Without discussing it with me first, he had his mom buy him plane tickets to spend Thanksgiving with his parents, and asked if I wanted to go with him. No. I am not missing the last Thanksgiving I can ever spend with my mom. We will have our whole lives to spend Thanksgiving with your family after this. You’re leaving me to face this one alone, or to abandon my mother on her last Thanksgiving?
It was suddenly very clear (being happy to cancel wedding plans to do it later, and many other things) that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me, but wouldn’t break up with me, because my mom was dying, and he was too nice a guy to dump his fiancée who’s mom was dying.
To his credit, we remained close friends, and he continued to be there as my best friend and emotional support through her death, and some months following. Although it was 8 years ago, we still chat/text a few times a year, and catch up on how our families are doing.
Edit: December 20th, 2018. I just got a call telling me he died today. It was tragic; he was a kind person, and only 36. RIP, my friend.”
#8. A lot to deal with
“When she threatened to kill herself if i ever left her.
She is alive and i made sure she got the help she needed, contacted public safety and her folks before cutting ties.”
#9. Yikes
“I found out the guy was no longer working when I called to see why his paychecks hadn’t come in. (I handled the finances for us, and he kept saying his boss would be sending it.) It turned out he quit, and instead of telling me, spent the next few weeks pretending to work. Instead he started going to strip clubs on what little money he had hoarded.
When I went to break it off with him, he punched his hand through the wall and lost his mind. By the time he finally calmed down, he had turned strangely morose. He looked at me and asked if we could have sex one last time.
My response : “No.”
Him after a long pause, sifting through his pockets and holding out a dollar bill. : “I’ll pay you a dollar to sleep with me. It’s all I have left.”
Needless to say, he left with a dollar in his pocket and no final goodbye.
EDIT : I can’t believe so many people read this! I honestly expected it to be passed over, so thank you all for taking the time and sharing your questions, comments, and well wishes. I’m sad to say while this instance was odd, I have a few more relationship stories that were even crazier. >.< Apparently, I know how to pick them. Hahahaha
For those that were concerned, the guy ended up doing alright. Anger management, lots of partying, and a few years passed before he found himself with a little one on the way. He’s quite happy and enjoying his newest addition. :3”
#10. Too much
“Completely unable to manage money.
Spent every dollar he came across on gaming & weed and constantly put off paying important bills.
Would’ve dragged us both into bankruptcy if I would’ve stayed with him.”
#11. Across the world
“I moved across the world for him.
He kept telling me “one day I want to propose.” Or “I can’t wait for you to be my wife.”
That proposal never came, and I was having visa issues, so after a few years I gave up and moved back.”
#12. Major issues
“We had been dating for over 2 years, and engaged for about 6 months.
Then one night, she bit me twice. Then I slapped her once, and she called the cops.
We were drunk (of course) and got in to an argument about something stupid, and I wanted to let it all go until the morning, when we could talk about it when we were sober. But she was doing that thing she had been doing for a while at that point…refusing to relent until she felt she won the argument. I was going to sleep at her apartment that night, but when she wouldn’t stop arguing, I decided to get up and leave.
As I was starting to put my pants on, she tackled me in a fit of rage. Then she bit my arm hard…so much so that she drew blood (I still have the scar.) I squirmed away, but she grabbed my legs and then she bit me again, hard, this time on my ass cheek. (I still have that scar too, only it’s bigger.)
The second bite she wouldn’t let go…gnashing on my ass like a dog with a chew toy. So I grabbed her hair, and pulled, then slapped her.
She was SHOCKED that I would slap her. SHOCKED. She called the cops. They showed up, saw all the blood and that I was the only one bleeding, then arrested her. I was actually kind of surprised by that, but they were reasonable individuals.
I did not want to press charges. I was done with her, and saw no need for them at that point. Turns out the town she lived in has a domestic violence law that compels the prosecutor to file charges without needing me to press charges. She took a deal that put a misdemeanor on her record (vs. felony battery), and a years probation.
About 6 weeks after this incident, I met the woman who is now my wife. This November will be our 22nd wedding anniversary. And in all that time, she has never bitten me, and I have never slapped her.”
#13. So. LOL.
“We had been dating for three years, constantly talked about getting married and what our life will be like.
He went back into the military and wouldn’t commit to having a long distance relationship with me.
Because it would be “way too distracting when he’s in the field and I pop up on his mind” and he didn’t want to commit to a relationship while in the army.
So we broke it off.
The real kicker is that a couple months after being away in another state, he started dating a new girl who apparently lives in the same state as me. So. Lol.”
#14. Weirdo
“He broke up with me. I have had juvenile diabetes since I was 7 yrs old and he said he did not want to marry someone who had health problems and could die.
I was 26 and we had been together over 3 years. It had a big impact on me.
Note…my health was not bad at the time.”
#15. It’s over
“The relationship died.
We had very different ideas of what life should be like. For example, he had said he’d break up with me if I didn’t get a college education.
He also gave me ultimatums (twice) about moving with him to a small town- both times.
At the second time, I let him carry out the ultimatum.”
Wow… that guy who posted as it’s STILL going on? Yikes! That’s a tough one.
Which of these really made you sit up and take notice? Have a story like this yourself?
Let us know in the comments!
