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Sometimes it can see as if everyone you know has advice to give, whether you want it or not. It can range from helpful to totally inane, but sometimes, there’s that tidbit that makes you sit up and reconsider what you thought before – and how your world is going to change in the future.
#15. Delay the freakout.
“My mom was dying. A friend told me “you have your whole life to freak out about this– don’t do it in front of her. ”
It really helped me to understand that my feelings are not always what’s important. It IS possible to delay a freakout, and that skill has served me innumerable times.”
#14. Perspective.
“I met a person who was in a wheelchair. He related a story about how a person once asked if it was difficult to be confined to a wheelchair. He responded, “I’m not confined to my wheelchair – I am liberated by it. If it wasn’t for my wheelchair, I would be bed-bound and never able to leave my room or house. ”
Amazing perspective.”
#13. All of his.
“paraphrasing what another redditor told someone, but it was basically “don’t be a dick to your dog. he’s a few years of your life, but you are all of his”
Edit: heyhey, my first gold! my dog (and possibly your dog) thanks you, fellow redditor!”
#12. My own mortality.
“I’m not afraid of death. It’s the stake one puts up in order to play the game of life.” – Jean Girraudoux
It is the only thing I’ve ever read that helped me deal with my own mortality.”
#11. Isn’t it funny.
“Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but, when we look back everything is different…” – C.S Lewis”
#10. You’ll still be 40.
“When I was 38 I contemplated beginning a two year Associates Degree in Radiography. I was talking to a friend and had almost talked myself out of doing it. I said “I’m too old to start that. I’ll be 40 when I get my degree.” My friend said “If you don’t do it, you’ll still be 40, but without the degree.” I’m nearly 60 now, and that degree has been the difference between making a decent living, and struggling to get by.”
#9. Then do it anyway.
“I was 13 years old, trying to teach my 6 year old sister how to dive into a swimming pool from the side of the pool. It was taking quite a while as my sister was really nervous about it. We were at a big, public pool, and nearby there was a woman, about 75 years old, slowly swimming laps. Occasionally she would stop and watch us. Finally she swam over to us just when I was really putting the pressure on, trying to get my sister to try the dive, and my sister was shouting, “but I’m afraid!! I’m so afraid!!” The old woman looked at my sister, raised her fist defiantly in the air and said, “So be afraid! And then do it anyway!”
That was 35 years ago and I have never forgotten it. It was a revelation — it’s not about being unafraid. It’s about being afraid and doing it anyway.”
#8. Role model.
“I’m the oldest of three kids. I’m older than my little brother by 2.5 years and my little sister by 9.5.
When I was about fourteen or so, arguing with my dad in private about something I don’t remember, he, being the second-oldest of eight kids, told me:
“Any decision you make in this household, you make three times. Once when you make it, once when your brother makes the same decision after watching you do it, and once when your sister makes the same decision after watching you and your brother do it. How you treat your brother will tell him how he can treat your sister; and how you treat your sister tells her how she will expect to be treated for the rest of her life, even as far as her future boyfriends.”
That kinda shook me up and made me rethink my role as the oldest child; I started taking my responsibilities as the role model a lot more seriously after that. Even when you aren’t trying to actively influence those around you, those who look up to and respect you will still base their decisions, in part, on how they’ve seen you handle similar situations. If you break down and get stressed and angry when something inconvenient happens, they’ll feel better doing the same when something similarly small happens to them. But if you keep your cool in a dire situation and under a lot of stress, it can inspire them to believe they can do the same.
EDIT: Thank you for the gold, stranger. I’ll pay it forward.”
#7. Surrounded by teachers.
“Everyone you meet knows something you don’t.” My grandfather told me this, and it’s been a good reminder that I am surrounded by teachers.”
#6. A lesson you’ll never forget.
“My old boss, the CEO of a small hospital, told me a story from back when he was a lab technician (for simplicity, let’s call him Dan). Dan had forgotten to check some sort of mechanism on a piece of equipment he used, it malfunctioned and broke the equipment which ended up having around a $250,000 repair bill. The next day Dan’s boss called him in to talk about it, and he was sure he was going to be fired. His boss asked him why he didn’t do a proper check, made sure he understood what happened and sent him back to work. Dan asked him “Am I not getting fired? I was almost sure that’s what this was about.” His boss said “No way, I just spent $250,000 teaching you a lesson you’ll never forget. Why would I fire you now?”
It seems silly, but that attitude always resonated with me. Don’t make professional decisions based on emotional responses. Always know what your goal is when dealing with someone, and what exact problem you are trying to solve. Everyone makes mistakes, and yelling at them just makes them resent you and become defensive. Being calm and understanding will make people look up to you.
Edit: I agree, I’m almost positive it isn’t an original story, but the core lesson is still the same.”
#5. Without missing a beat.
“When I was young and having what I thought was a serious relationship talk with my first real SO, I told her that I just wanted to find the right person.
Without missing a beat she said, “Everybody is looking for the right person, and nobody is trying to be the right person.”
That stopped me in my tracks.
EDIT: Thanks for the Gold! Sorry about my very very late responses. I only recently realized that I was getting messages asking for follow-up.
I don’t recall how the rest of the conversation went very well. I think it kind of shut me down and I didn’t really know how to respond. We ended up breaking up for typical first-time SO reasons. What she said totally made me rethink how to approach love, though. Before then, I had this idea that I should be spending my life looking for my perfect match. Since then, I decided that I would just focus on being the best person I could be and figured someone would eventually find me.”
#4. On embarrassment.
“”It’s only embarrassing if you’re embarrassed.” Changed my life forever.
Edit – First gold! Thanks so much! No, I’m not calling you a kind stranger.”
#3. Appreciate your parents.
“When I was 19/20 my mum started taking out loans to build houses abroad, which I thought was a silly and expensive waste of money but she told me it had always been her dream to own land/be a landlady. Which I thought was strange considering she was a nurse and she’d never once mentioned it in all the years I’d known her.
A few months later it dawned on me that it had coincided perfectly with the time my younger sister (who was the lastborn) had left the house to go off to school. Now considering she had four kids it hit me that she’d basically put her entire life on hold just to take care of us, and this wasn’t just old school got a job, it was full on move to a different country/move heaven and hell to make sure we’d had a good life. And after over thirty years of putting the work in for us, she’d finally turned around and started working on her dream.
Absolutely floored me and was the first “Whoa my mum’s an actual person (and not just my mum) who’d done all this for me.” Appreciate your parents people and hopefully do the same for your kids.”
#2. Listen to them.
“Not sure who said this to me, but I heard this in my late teens and it completely changed the way I think forever:
“If you think you know something, find someone who disagrees and listen to them.”
It has taken years for that to fully sink in, but it’s a never-ending process. The last part, the part about actually listening, is the tricky part, and it took me many years to get it right.But it’s the best advice I’ve ever heard, and it changed my life more than any other single piece of advice. I also think it’s the advice that most people on reddit need in their lives.”
#1. Rational thought.
“Depression presents itself in the guise of rational thought.” Said by my uncle.”
