It’s okay to admit it…you’ve done some illegal things in your life and totally gotten away with it.
I imagine most of us have broken a law or two – even if it was just an illegal u-turn – so you don’t have to feel terrible about yourself.
See if your stories match up with these from people on AskReddit who admit to breaking the law and getting away with it.
1. Lead foot
“I used to have a total lead foot.
One day, I was driving to my ex-wife’s parent’s house by myself. They lived in a small town right off of the freeway. Now, on the freeway I was driving about 80 mph (130 kph), which was standard for most drivers. When you pull off the freeway, it immediately drops to 25 mph (45kph).
So, I pull onto this main drag and start driving through the town. I’m about a mile down when suddenly I notice a police car pull up behind me. I look down and see that I’m driving at 45 mph (70kph).
A few things hit all at once: First, I couldn’t afford a ticket. I was 20 miles over. I would have ended up with a $200+ ticket just because I failed to decelerate. I was only three blocks from my in-laws, AND the the officer hadn’t turned on his lights yet.
For reasons only known to me, I immediately pulled over, turned off the car and started walking. The officer pulled up behind me, not knowing what to do, but still with NO LIGHTS turned on. I just kept walking without turning around.
I get to my in-laws and tell them what happened. They tell me that I have to go back for my car, so I do. The officer was gone. No consequences whatsoever, never received a ticket in the mail, never heard a thing. I would never, ever do it again.
And that’s how I got out of a major speeding violation.”
2. That is awesome
“I stole my own car from the tow impound lot, best part was getting the certified letter months later that they were going to auction it if I didn’t come and pay for it.”
3. At least you tried
“My friends and I didn’t pay for our dinner at Steak n Shake this past weekend. I stood waiting at the register trying to pay for 20 minutes but no one came to take my money. It was 12:30 am before we left.”
“Stole a Blue Angels flag from the hanger they were parked in.
When I was in the navy the Blue Angels vistied the air base I was stationed at. They proceeded to kick all of our planes out of our hanger and I had to fix our birds out in the rain. In a fit of contempt, on the last day they were there, I went into the mezz and stole the flag hanging from the overhead beams.
I still have the flag and wear it lake a cape from time to time.”
5. Grand theft auto
“Assisted in semi stealing a car.
Almost 2 decades ago my cousin calls my dad and says his car broke down. As my dad has friends with heavy equipment he figured my dad could get a trailer to tow it on.
So my dad my uncle and I go pickup a flatbed tow truck from a friend of his then drive 2 hours to pickup the car. We find it near where it should be on the side of the highway so we load it up and go to a reststop to secure it on the truck better.
As my dad and my uncle are attaching straps I’m looking at the car and notice something is odd. My cousins car(late 80s Audi) had broken speakers for what ever reason they all stopped work so instead of replacing them with with normal speakers he used house tower speakers big ones at that back seat and passenger seat. I’m noticing there arent any tower speakers in the car I pointed this out and they stop and start looking at the car then checked the plate number they dont match(cousin had a vanity plate) my dad immediately hooks the call raises the bed and let’s it roll off into a space at the rest area.
We hop into the truck and drive off to find the car. We find it less then a mile away.
Audi reliability jokes aside what are the odds of two identical audi’s same year color and even rims and tires being broken down that close to each other.”
6. I would’ve done worse
“When I was a teenager, my Labrador got out of the yard and I finally found him at the pound with a bullet in his shoulder. I had to put him down. I inadvertently found out who did it. I spray painted his corvette. After he got it repainted, I did it again.
Editing for clarity. This was a small town in the late 70’s, I did tell the cops when he was shot but we didn’t know by who, they said they could do nothing. As far as I remember even when I found out who did it they said they couldn’t help me. I found out who did it because my sister went to a party and a guy there was talking about a dog he shot.
He lived in the same block where animal control picked my injured dog up. Of course I took my dog to the vet, but as a poor 16 year old, I did not have the funds needed for surgery. If I recall correctly it was $400, which would have been a small fortune for me. I had the vet put him down. He was a sweet lab, I bawled my eyes out for weeks.
One of the local cops was a family friend, he put 2 and 2 together, and after the second paint job, he stopped by my work and mentioned what happened to this guys car, and looked at me and said he hoped it wouldn’t happen again. i took the hint and left him alone after that. This all happened over 40 years ago, but to the best of my recollection, that is what happened.”
7. No way
“I went to Thailand to kick a drug habit. On the plane on the way there I got talking to a guy who knew a guy (drug users have an uncanny way way of picking each other out). The withdrawals were kicking in hard so the idea of getting just a little bit to tide me over was too strong to resist. We got off the plane and went to his friend’s club.
All notion of quitting drugs evaporated and I went on an unholy bender. Anyway, cut to 3 weeks later and I am due to fly home. I get the brilliant idea of stocking up on drugs at local Thai prices and bringing them back to my country for resale. I bought a bunch of drugs and got on the plane. I had a stop over in Singapore. As I walked through the terminal I looked up and noticed the big signs in English that say “UNDER SINGAPORE LAW, DRUG TRAFFICKERS WILL BE EXECUTED”.
I went to the bathroom and did a quick inventory of the stuff I had on me. More than enough to be killed for it. Swallowed/snorted as much as I could and flushed the rest. Had the worst 10 hour stop over of my life where I just kept thinking that every noise in the airport was an officer coming to arrest me. Made it out alive and never trafficked drugs internationally again.”
8. All good in the end
“I found out that this specific guy stole my phone, from checking previous text on my account and calling numbers they were in contact with. He wouldn’t admit he stole it, so I broke into his house via balcony, stole his laptop, and left a singed note to meet me and return my phone to get his laptop back. It totally worked and everyone got their stuff back.”
“I accidentally shoplifted some pudding cups once.
I was at Target and was buying a couple of large bags of dog food which were in the basket part of the cart and several smaller items that were in the top part of the cart. I had tossed the pudding cups into the basket part before I put the dog food bags in and forgot they were there when I put all the smaller items on the belt to be rung up. They were hidden from view when the dog food bags were scanned.
I saw them when I was putting the dog food bags into the trunk. If the lines weren’t so long I would have gone back to pay for them, but 20+ minutes for a 99 cent item, I can live with that. If it were a more expensive item I would have returned to pay for it.”
“Worked at a car dealership, broke many finance and insurance fraud laws on a daily basis for years. Most finance managers do and may not even be aware or it.”
“I visited a abandoned building. Someone called the police and 30 minutes later we saw firefighters walking into the huge building just to search us. Luckily we saw it when we where already out.”
“Flown with weed in my checked luggage.”
13. Joy ride
“I was visiting the beach, and when walking home with a friend from a bar at 4am on a Sunday night, we came across a jetski on the beach being bounced around by the waves. My friend convinced me to ride it back with him the next mile to where we were staying. So we rode it in the ocean in pitch black while a storm was out in the distance (cool, not scary).
When we got to our place, we rode it around until the sun came up and then I found the jetski registration, found the guy on Facebook, played the good guy and messaged him and told him “hey I found your jetski at X location on the beach”, then went inside.
It was a pretty thrilling experience. I don’t know how illegal it was considering it was a jetski just left in the ocean, and I returned it, but it was still pretty fun.”
14. That sounds scary
“Probably climbing a signal tower, in Egypt. I realised afterwards that it was on military land… Then proceeded to climb it another couple of times. Oh to be young and carefree…”
“When Xbox 360s used to get the red ring of death, I started up my own little side business. I used to buy new ones at wal-mart with cash, open it, and take a small razor and swap the bar code from the new 360 to the broken 360.
Then I would take the broken 360 with the new bar code and put it in the box and return it to Wal-Mart saying it was a gift but I “already had one”, all they used to do was scan the bar code to see if it was the same. Boom, new 360, and I would charge people $100 and get them the brand new 360 within 48 hours.”