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I can explain!
How many times have you been caught in what looked like a crazy predicament and you had to yell that out to people so you could plead your case?
It may sound like something that only happens in movies, but I assure you that it happens in real life, too.
And here’s the proof!
Here are some funny, true stories from AskReddit users.
1. Oh, boy…
“I live in Pennsylvania and you’re allowed to (and usually have to) pump your own gas. In New Jersey, it’s illegal to pump your own gas.
So, some friends are driving around New Jersey. Said friend is the member of a band and, with him, is the other 3 members of his band, his girlfriend, and another friend. That’s 6 people. The car only has seats for 5. So, on a trip to the gas station, one bandmate figures it’d be fun to ride in the trunk.
This guy is a bit crazy in the best way. On the way from the venue to the gas station, while in the trunk, he gets totally naked save for a pink bandana around his neck so he can surprise the shit out of everyone when they get back.
The car arrives at the gas station and, realizing they have to let someone pump their gas, they pull up to a pump and an attendant comes to help them. When he asks my friend to open the door covering the gas valve thingy, with him being used to manually opening it himself (as opposed to using the automatic button inside the car), he fumbles around for the button…
And pops the trunk.
There lays a naked man, who looks a bit like a beardless Jesus, wearing nothing but a pink bandana.
The best part is my friend didn’t even realize it was the wrong button. So, the attendant just stands there awkwardly as the guy in the trunk tries to shut the trunk while everyone in the car sits looking bored with straight faces.”
2. Where to begin…?
“I was in my early twenties. And we were spending a couple of weeks at a friend’s beach house in an upscale east coast resort town. One late night, we decide it would be a great idea to crash the local community swimming pool for a skinny dip. So seven guys and gals pile into one sedan to head off for the challenge. I am the only non-drinker, so I am the naturally designated driver.
We arrive at the pool, shimmy through an opening in the fence, chuck off all of our clothes and jump in. hilarity ensues…until. Wait! someone has notified the cops of our presence. As we see the cop car search light scanning for us, we freak.
Time to make a fast escape and pile back into the ride undetected. But not enough time to get dressed. So we are now a car full of seven people (six of them drunk) covered in nothing but towels. And we drive away, confident in our success.
However, in all the excitement, I manage to make an illegal left turn as part of our getaway. And, you guessed it, cop car lights up and pulls me over.
The officer gets out and approaches the car full of mostly naked twenty-somethings. He takes a look and says to me, with a straight face and without missing a beat, “I don’t reckon you’d have a drivers license under there – would you?”
Where even to begin…”
3. This is crazy.
“Me and my roommates came home late one night from a night of drinking. It’s about 2 a.m., and there is a knock on our back door. I open it up and there is a tall, muscular fellow there wearing only a t-shirt and tennis shoes, cupping his unmentionables and covered in bloody gashes.
He says he can explain, that the cops are after him, and asks to come in. My other roommate comes down and is like “Absolutely, come right in! No one comes to someone’s door naked in the middle of the night to start trouble. You come because you need help, right?”
So the guy starts in on this story of how they are at a house party up the street. They are loud and have had a few noise complaints, so the cops are essentially sitting on the corner just waiting to bust them.
He thinks it would be a good idea to take his pants off and go streaking by a parked police cruiser. Hint: It was not a good idea. Two cops start chasing him, another goes into the house to start interrogating his friends.
Did I mention this was a tall muscular dude? He runs laps around the overweight police men, then takes off across a field to either outrun them or hide. As I understand, he distances himself by about 75 yards, then runs headlong into a barbed-wire fence.
The barbs had left huge gashes in his stomach, chest and legs, but he untangles himself and hides in a culvert as the cops roam the neighborhood with flashlights looking for him.
Flash forward 2 hours, he sees us come home, across from the field where he is hiding, and makes his way to our back door and recounts his tale. We give him a beer, a pair of gym shorts, and escort him back to his house party, where he is greeted with raucous laughter, applause, and more then a few disgruntled looks from the people he had left to be interrogated by the police for an hour.
The entire party covered for him, claiming that they didn’t know him and that he had not left his pants with them (they hid them, and his wallet). It all worked out.”
4. I read it for the articles! I swear!
“Was reading an interview Stephen Colbert did with Playboy on their website. Someone walked past, did a double take, and asked if I was really looking at the Playboy website.
Had to explain that, despite all the jokes that have ever been made throughout the history of Playboy, I actually was reading it for the articles. A phrase I never ever anticipated uttering in real life.”
5. Freaked them out.
“Once opened my front door to two Jehovah’s Witnesses – which in turn opened to a bedroom with what looked like 6 naked men in a giant bed together (they ran off down the street before my hungover brain could figure out why they were freaked out).
we were just hungover and watching crappy cartoons on my projector. Just straight equally hungover men watching cartoons topless in bed together.”
6. Wrong house.
“I got real drunk with my girlfriend and her mate one saturday night. They convinced me to wear a dress and then when I passed out in a chair in the living room they covered me in makeup, lipstick, blush, mascara, the works.
I looked like a transvestite clown. So I wake up in the chair 9am sunday with a jolt as someone is knocking loudly at the door Still half drunk I open the door to 2 mormons, they look at me shocked, stammer “we’ve got the wrong house” and leave.
Took me a few secs to realize what I looked like to them.”
7. Not what you think it is.
“I have a hand held electric nail file. It’s really… Well… Dildo shaped.
I had some friends over for a sleepover one night and my friend pulls it out and gives me this look of abject horror… I don’t think she believed me when I told her its just a nail file.”
8. Whoopsy daisy.
“That’d be the time I follow too many links (using my phone) which end up linking to a gay orgy vid, I closed the browser right away, decided I had have enough internet for the day, next morning I try to show a something on reddit to my bro, and yeah gay porn starts playing, that was an difficult conversion.”
9. Now you’re in trouble.
“About a year and a half ago my friend broke his phone on accident.
Unfortunately for him, he was talking to this hot girl on facebook who wanted his number. She kept asking for it even though he repeatedly said his phone was broken, so he and I agreed that I’ll text as him through my phone until he gets a new one. All he said to her was he got a temporary phone.
So here I am portraying as my friend night in and night out while he doesn’t really know what I could be saying, however, I keep him updated. Ultimately it comes to a point where she wants a picture of my friends dick. Of course I immediately go to google and search in dick pictures of guys and find about 3 to choose from, which I save to my phone. I only did it because she offered pics of her body to me in return (she was 18+).
So a couple days later my other friend is looking through my phone and sees 3 floppy penises in my photo album. I couldn’t believe I forgot to delete them. He and a couple other guys gather around and just look at me as if they don’t even know who I am. I immediately try to explain myself while my friend who I was helping out, was in the room. At first when I was explaining it even he was like “Wait what are you talking about again?”
However thank goodness his mind cleared up and he was able to back me up on the dick pictures, because I would’ve been in an ever worse awkward situation.”
10. Didn’t mean to be rude…
“I was recently walking home, and saw a bunch of bird crap on the sidewalk in front of me. I heard birds in the trees above, so I decided to walk around the drop zone, which put me in the street.
As I stepped into the street, I noticed a mid-to-late twenties black gentleman walking the opposite way on the sidewalk.
I have never received a look of disgust that great at any other time in my life.”
11. Bad joke.
“Worked at a bike shop and one day a man in a wheelchair comes in to get a flat fixed on his chair. I put a new tube in and rang him up.
He was quite pleased with how low the price was. I told him, “Yeah, any other shop in town would have probably charged you and arm and a leg.” The guy was missing an arm and a leg. Could have heard a pin drop.”
12. Not a cigarette!
“Mom caught me smoking when I was 18. After a lifetime of telling me the evils of cigarettes, she walked into my apartment and saw one in my mouth.
Of course, seeing as how it wasn’t tobacco, and I was high as a kite, the first thing that came to mind was also the first thing to come out of my mouth:
“It’s okay, Mom, it’s a joint!”
13. It belongs to my friend.
“My friend, who is a film student, tends to make about 1-3 short films every summer when he’s home from college. I usually help him out. He doesn’t have a printer at his house, so it’s always been my job to print out one or two scripts to do a read through with him and the actors.
One of his shorts was about a closeted lesbian who was in love with her best friend. The last page of the script involved a passionate kiss and then some screaming. And, of course, when I was stapling them, one of those pages fell to the ground.
My mother, who has always suspected me of being a lesbian, found it and assumed I had written it. She absolutely wouldn’t believe me when I said it belonged to my friend.”
14. Doh!
“The leader of the local girl scout troop belonged to the same pool as my family. One day I went to pick up my daughter from her scout meeting.
With a few of the other mothers I didn’t know, as well as most of the girl scouts all paying attention to me since I had just walked in, the leader exclaimed (once she figured out who I was there to pick up)…”I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on”
The look on the faces of the other mothers was priceless…”
15. A wink and a nod.
“About 8 years ago me and some friends were working in Northern Italy around this time of year and we decided to hire a car and drive into Germany for Octoberfest.
After finding a carpark in Munich we (3 guys, 2 girls) head off to enjoy the beer. A few hours pass and my girlfriend is pretty drunk and looks like she’s gonna start puking soon so we all decide to take her back to the car and let her have a bit of sleep on the back seat.
Trying to get her into the car was a different story though because she wanted to “sleepy ina da back, no really back the car”. Naturally we throw her in the boot and she went to sleep.
The rest of us locked the car and off we went to find a bar. Many, many beers and sing songs later we were heading back to the car when two policemen stopped us in the street and asked us for our IDs. We explained that all our stuff was in our hire car around the corner.
The nice policemen offered to walk with us to the car so we could show them that we were legit European citizens and we weren’t trying to smuggle people into the country or anything absurd like that. Get to the car, open the boot, Italian girlfriend is still asleep on our bags. The police look at eachother and I quickly explain why there is what appears to be a drugged up kidnap victim in our car.
After waking her up she starts shouting at the police because she was “nice sleepy der”. The policemen check all our passports and one of them wishes me luck dealing with my crazy drunk girlfriend and gives me a wink.”
It’s all true! Wow, those are pretty good.
Okay, now we want to hear from you!
In the comments, please share the “I can explain!” moments from your life.
Let’s get weird!
