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15 Cops Share Stories About the Dumbest Criminals They Caught

Image Credit: Pixabay

Plenty of controversy surrounds police officers and policing these days, but one thing never changes – we all love to hear stories about dumb criminals and the way they got caught.

So if you’re a human being, you’ll enjoy the 15 stories below.

#15. The robber agreed.

“A friend of mine got his phone stolen one time, so he called to his own phone number and the burglar answered the phone. He then told the burglar that he was willing to pay to get he phone back and the robber agreed. So they decided to meet at some random place to do the exchange and obviously my friend brought the police with him, so they caught the robber with the phone and a pikachu face. (Sorry for my english me no native)

edit: some grammar and stuff correction powered by redditors

edit 2: More grammar correction :D”

#14. The name the guy told me.

“Not a cop myself, but about 10 years ago I got held up and robbed by a group of 3 guys with knives. All they wanted was the money in my wallet, so me being the smart guy not wanting to mess with knives just obliged. At the end of the ordeal he put the knife to my throat and said “If you ever tell the cops my name is <redacted> I will slice your throat right now”.

So I went home, called the cops, told em where it happened and gave them the name they guy told me. The name instantly rung a bell with them since the guy had come into contact with the police in the past. Cops went to the spot where I was robbed and they were laying in ambush for a new guy to appear. They could instantly identify the guy he was arrested and thats about it.

Happened in the Netherlands, don’t know his sentence or anything.”

#13. He ordered a pizza and forgot about it.

“I’m a 911 Dispatcher; in Florida. Sometimes confused or drunk people knock on the wrong door or try to get into a house thinking it’s theirs, but it isn’t. It’s an honest mistake. But the homeowner is rightfully very afraid thinking they are about to be robbed or worse. Well I had this kid, must’ve been in his early 20s and clearly stoned call me going absolutely crazy that someone is trying to kill him and take his property and rape his girlfriend blah blah blah. I send units code 3 to this guy thinking it’s a burglary in progress.

Turns out the guy ordered a pizza and forgot about it. Scared the delivery guy half to death.”

#12. A close-up of the guy’s face.

“Took a vehicle burglary report where the victim found a drivers license sitting on her driver seat that the suspect must have left behind. Seems damning, but if he had any criminal smarts he would just say his license was stolen and the thief must have dropped it while breaking into this new victim’s vehicle. Without any other evidence, the case would have gone nowhere.

The next day I take a report at a church that was a couple of blocks away from the vehicle burglary. This guy stole the video cameras from the building. He must have thought the footage came with the camera, because when we checked the video, there was a High Def close-up of the suspects face as he removed the camera. Good evidence, sure, but I still didn’t know who the guy was… until I looked at the license I collected the day prior and saw it was the same exact guy.”

#11. He always got caught.

“Not me but my buddy is a cop and told me about this one kid in particular he dealt with for years. No cleverness to him, numerous times he walked into his neighbors garage in broad daylight and just stole his bike. Constantly stole from stores in plain view, even the occasional minor assault or burglary . He always got caught. Like had never gotten away with any of his hundreds of crimes but because he was a minor there were never any real repercussions. A few days before he turned 18 my friend and another officer went to his house to basically remind him that if he does anything after that he will face real punishment as an adult and he’ll get zero breaks. Like a last ditch effort to be helpful. Two days after his 18th birthday he’s caught committing an armed robbery. Pretty sure he’s doing a few decades behind bars.”

#10. Can I have my bags back, please?

“Not a cop but I’ve got a story. I already posted it to /r/storiesaboutkevin so if you’ve seen it before, that’s where.

A little over a month ago my apartment was broken into whilst my Boyfriend was still inside. He works nights so at midday he’s still fast asleep and didn’t notice this guy come in and rummage around until he throws the bedroom door open, panics at seeing my BF, and runs off.

My BF looks around the apartment and find that the laptops, tablets etc are still there and he must hae run off before getting to all that, but a handful of smaller valuables such as USB’s, keys, Wallets were gone. He also did a fair amount of damage rummaging around and spray-painting our walls. Also ate our biscuits.

What WAS there however, were the idiots bags.

He’d left his school rucksack containing some schoolwork, some of our possessions, his ID, some years old school papers with his parents phone numbers on it etc…

So already he’s an idiot, we know who he is. The police are having a laugh with us a little later about it, and as one of them takes my BF’s statement, we hear a knock at the door. I go to answer it as a friend said he was coming over anyway and I find the same guy from the ID outside my door.

He looks at me, then at the police officer behind me (still holding the bags) and asks:

“Can I have my bags back please?”

After a stunned moment, he’s grabbed by the police officer and my BF confirms that this is the guy. He’s arrested on the spot.

The police said it was the dumbest thing they’d ever seen, like something out of a sit-com. It made local news.”

#9. One stupid criminal.

“There was a kid who sold drugs on my floor of the college dorm who wasn’t the brightest. One night he was driving back to the dorm and a police car comes behind him and turns on their lights. His dumbass stored all of his drugs in his car and assumed they were pulling him over for possession. He proceeds to drive through a red light and pull into the dorm parking lot to “hide.” Mind you, his car was covered in bumper stickers, had a kayak rack, and a vanity plate to top it all off. The parking lot only had one entrance and exit too… Apparently he thought the police car wouldn’t go through a red light to follow him. Long story short, they were just going to warn him for having a taillight out and nothing more. Instead, he ended up in the local jail and expelled from the college. The funniest part is that his “ledger” of all transactions and the dollar amounts, “products”, and buyers was also right there in his car. He was one stupid criminal.”

#8. He didn’t see what the big deal was.

“Not a cop, but work corrections as a CO. Had a new inmate ask me if I could bring some drugs in for him. Laughed in his face, thinking he was joking. He wasn’t, and had to “inform” him that just asking that question to a staff member could land him in the hole. He didn’t see what the big deal was, he tells me he always asks the staff at every jail he lands in. Just shook my head, and thanked him for the job security. Which made two other inmates standing close by burst out laughing.”

#7. The next day…

“Old roommate was/is a cop.
He came home to tell me an ATM was robbed (after hours) for $15,240.

The next day the man who robbed the ATM deposited $15,240 into his personal account at the bank he robbed the night prior.”

#6. 20 yards over.

“So I’m sitting in the station, doing paperwork. I’m looking out of the window, and a few yards away is a bus stop. A young lad is smashing the glass of the bus stop, as a way of showing off to a couple of girls. So I sigh, walk about 20 yards over to him and arrest him.

Another time, a lad had just broken into a pharmacy and stolen some drugs. Sleeping tablets, which he started taking (maybe to hide the evidence – who knows how these people’s minds work). There’s a foot chase, which gets slower, and slower, and slower… I ended up just walking slowly behind him. The guy fell asleep while I was booking him in.”

#5. Because he forgot his age.

“So I get a call of a beer run (shoplifting) from the local CVS. I check the area and see 2 guys matching the description. I detain them and sure enough they had a couple Coronas and some off brand whiskey. I confirm with CVS they were the suspects, the alcohol was their property, and they are desirous of prosecution. All is good, my state requires I take them to the station to book into jail and get fingerprinted, then they are issued a citation and released with a court date a couple months out.

While driving to the station I ask what they were doing stealing the alcohol. One guy says that they are only 20 and since they weren’t old enough to buy it, they just decided to steal it instead. No big deal, young people make stupid mistakes. I get to the jail, book them in and start filling out the citation. The citation requires both birthdate and age. I do the math on the birthday, and sure enough the guy is 21. Meaning he is old enough to buy alcohol. I go back into the jail and verify his birthday. Yup, same one he had listed on his drivers license. I re-do the math out loud. 21 years old. I ask “how old are you again?” He replies “20 sir.” I said “you turned 21 last month.” Again he is adamant “no I turned 20.” I just left it at that…

Tldr; Guy stole beer because he forgot his age and thought he wasn’t old enough to buy it. Went to jail because of it.”

#4. Several times a month.

“We had an inmate that would constantly call crime stoppers on his contraband cell phone and try to get them to give him the reward if he confessed to his crimes. He did this several times a month.”

#3. They’d been at it for at least an hour.

“Went to a job of 2 males attempting to break into a car. Job description said they had been at it for at least an hour.

Got there and the car was theirs. They had apparently locked themselves out. Checks confirmed it did belong to one of the persons mum. On their person was stolen mail and heaps of phones and new stuff in boxes in the car so they got arrested for theft anyway.

Ended up that the drivers door they had been trying to break into was the only locked door out of the 4. Was unlocked everywhere else the whole time they were there.

Edit: mail turned out to be junk mail and a wedding invitation”

#2. Right freaking there.

“Everyday I see a big black SUV with Sheriff written on the side parked in the driveway across the street, I don’t know if the guy is the sheriff or works for the sheriff but one night I wake up to a dozen sirens outside. Turns out some idiot tried breaking into sheriff dudes house while he was home and his vehicle was right freaking there.”

#1. He definitely did have a knife behind his back.

“My father is a police officer. He once told me a story of a call he went to for reports of a man and woman fighting in an apartment (call came from neighbors for noise complaints/concern). He was 3rd shift, so this was at some point very late at night, when all the crazy people are up and at em. When he arrived he could hear the yelling through the door, he knocked and let them know it was the police. There was immediate silence and a man answered the door… completely naked. The naked man didn’t even give my dad a chance to speak or ask questions, the first thing he said was “I don’t have a knife behind my back.” Well, he definitely did have a knife behind his back. And the naked woman he was with had drugs, which was what they were fighting over. They both got arrested that night. Tip: don’t do illegal drugs, and if you do, don’t answer the door for the cops.”

I can’t get enough!