Believe me, anyone who has waited tables for any length of time has a long list, but below are 15 pretty good – and pretty common – complaints about the people we serve.
#15. Thank you for your patronage.
“When people call in for takeout at peak dinner hours and act flabbergasted that their order is going to take a long time. It’s peak dinner hours, I have a full house, several orders in front of yours, and no I can’t cut the line just cuz your order is small.
Another is when they indignantly pull the “I’ve been coming to this restaurant for years” card. Yeah, that’s great, thank you for your patronage, but I can’t magically pull a table for 4 out of my ass to seat you when either all the tables are in use or I have people that called beforehand to reserve a table.”
#14. Some people seem to do it on purpose.
“Running your server.
I can understand guests forgetting that they needed some to-go sauce or to-go cups, but some people really seem to do it on purpose. Instead of asking for all the things you need one time, they ask for one thing each time you go around and use the time they waited for you to come back as a basis to how they’re going to tip you. Sorry, but there are other tables in my section (along with being responsible for my section buddies), so I do my best to consolidate and take one trip rather than going back and forth to the same table.”
#13. Can’t take no for an answer.
“When I still was younger I worked at my aunt’s tavern at the may fair. Very strict laws: After 10 PM you’re absolutely forbidden to sell alcohol.
You’d be amazed at how many people can’t take a no for an answer. And how many people will try to bribe you. In unrelated news: 50€ are still worthless compared to getting to keep your liquor license.”
#12. I just take my own car.
“Don’t work in it but one thing my family does that I notice makes the server annoyed is that we will sit there for 2+ hours talking after eating and paying.
Server keeps coming by every 10 minutes asking if everything is okay, and everyone is like “yeah we’re good!”, but you can definitely tell after awhile the server is getting annoyed.
This played out countless times when I was a kid. Now anytime we all go out I just take my own car with me, and I leave after paying.’
#11. Let someone else order.
“Get to the front of the line and stare at the menu with your mouth open. Let someone else order, you time-wasting, goldfish-brained shart.”
“Not me but my brother and his wife are both in the industry and they both say the exact some thing, entitlement. Some customers think that their waiter or sever is beneath so they can treat them like crap.”
#9. Me, too.
“I know the owner.” Yeah bitch me too, move along.”
“Show up right as we’re about to close and the say “oh we’ll be quick!”
“asking for your jimmy johns sandwich to be cut in half lengthwise. I get wanting to cut in in half the normal way, but length wise? Really? It’s so hard to do without absolutely destroying the sandwich.”
#6. Speak to the manager.
“Berating low level employees instead of asking to speak to the manager.”
“Hi, my name is–”
#4. After closing.
“No longer work in the restaurant business, but have worked at several over the years. Every once in awhile you get that table that comes in late and just lingers around, talking, sometimes after you should be closed. I’m tired, I’ve been there on my feet all day, I have family and friends I’d like to see, I want to take shower, have a beer and go to bed. If you want to talk go do it at your house, I’m ready to clean up and go.”
#3. It made me feel better.
“I worked at Subway for a few years. So many people would come in talking on their phones. When I tried to greet them they would hold your finger up to pause me. After a while I became impatient with people like this, and I started walking away from them. I don’t think they really cared either way, but it made me feel better.”
#2. Haha so clever.
“Is there anything else I can get for you?”
“Yeah, a million dollars.”
“HAHAHA SO CLEVER I’VE NEVER HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE, WOW THANKS.”
#1. Staying late.
“Aside from generally being rude assholes, staying late. If you see the restaurant is empty, it’s late, and they look to be closing. Fuck off, please. Several people have to stay late waiting for you to get up and leave.”
Please remember to tip your servers, my friends.