I waited tables for the better part of a decade, and, for me, anyone ordering an expensive steak cooked more than medium deserved a secret eyeroll – especially when they then proceeded to ask for steak sauce because their meal was “a little dry.”
When you take a nice piece of meat and ask the cook to turn it into shoe leather, that tends to happen.
Like all servers, these 15 have their own pet peeves – and I totally get it.
#15. I hate you.
“Doesn’t matter what the order is but if you come in to a restaurant within 30 minutes to close and sit down, I hate you.”
“8 starters and main courses with options for veggie and even VEGAN,and there’s NOTHING on the menu you’re prepared to try? REALLY?”
“Served a few years ago.
Water with a request for lemons and sugar for a DIY free lemonade.”
#12. I’m in a rush.
“I only judged those who asked, “and could you hurry, I’m in a rush.”
As if these other people who have been waiting long before you even came through the door should just be skipped over cause you’re soooooo busy.”
#11. Too strong.
“Only thing that ever bothered me as a Bartender.
Customer: I would love a martini
Me: me too! Coming right up.
Customer: This is too strong.
#10. Absolute weirdo.
“People at all-you-can eat buffets who just load up their plates and eat only a part of it. We always have to throw the rest away…
Also one guy would actually go to the buffet, choose something to “try”, load up on it completely, go back to his table, try it and if he didn’t like it he just threw the rest away. He repeated this four to five times…. absolute weirdo with no respect for the value of food.
Took my sweet time bringing his drinks etc to his table…”
#9. The way they asked.
“I got to be honest, I never judged anyone for what they asked for when I was a waiter. I did however judge the fuck out of them for the way they’d ask.
You could change every detail of your meal in some weird and obscure way and you’re polite and understanding of the situation I don’t mind. When you command me to do something however I sometimes say we can’t do that, even if I know fully well we can.”
“Well done 2.5” fillet mignon… no butterfly, then slap ass bitching that it is taking 45 minutes and is “burnt”…. fmr…”
#7. But that’s fine.
“When they say they have an allergy and I tell them that the food they want to order has items that would trigger their allergy, “but that’s fine, I can have it.”
There’s special procedures we have to do for allergies. It makes the food take longer (in my restaurant, I have to include a hand-written ticket, give it directly to the chef, those preparing the food have to change their gloves/get new cutting boards/etc., a manager has to be the one to bring it to the table). All because you call a sensitivity/preference an allergy.
Also, ordering their burger/steak well-done, but really just when they complain about how long it’s taking.
And super weird things like… melted cheese, bacon, and truffle oil on top of edamame.”
#6. Drink pop.
“I had a table one with two kids, two moms and the mothers mother. One of the kids (extremely overweight) tried to order a water from me and his mother (also overweight) cut him off and asked him if he wanted pop instead. The kid said no, he kept asking for water and every adult at that table said no water, drink pop. Eventually his mom asked him if he wanted root beer and he slowly changed his to mind to it. I got him a water cause the poor kid was probably dehydrated.
Edit: When I brought the water, the kid chugged it and I asked if he wanted another and the mom said “no, he’ll spoil his appetite””
#5. I judge you hard.
“When you make up off-menu shit and just expect us to accommodate you. A lot of the time we can, but I judge you hard.”
#4. Your kids shouldn’t have to deal with that.
“I don’t mind special orders.
I don’t mind splitting the check 10 ways.
I don’t care if you like your steak well done or if you like fussy cocktails.
I get judgey about parents coming to eat at the family restaurant where I work and getting sloppy drunk in front of their kids at 6:30 on a Tuesday night. I don’t care if you have a DD, your kids shouldn’t have to deal with that.
A drink or two with dinner is fine. I’m not a teetotaler. And I know the same people I’m watching getting shitfaced in front of their young children will have no idea why those same children don’t respect their parents when they get older.”
#3. They’d always complain.
“I worked at a seafood restaurant where most of our food was frozen, wrapped, and then sent to us the morning of or the night before. We also had fresh lobsters/crabs/fish however for more delectable and expensive stuff. Every now and then, there’s always a customer who demands a dish created with thawed fish to be made with the fresh fish we have. Then they’d always complain because 1) it takes a damn while to prepare and cook everything and 2) the check now becomes 3x pricier since we used fresh fish.”
#2. Kick down the gangway.
“I used to do volunteer work on a veteran ship, this included bartending at events to raise money for upkeep(I was also ships crew when we were sailing), Sure, I’ll mix that weird concocture you want me to do even tho there is a long line, you’re the customer. I don’t mind you getting in my face, I can handle it. But the moment you start harassing my 18/19 year old female servers you are out on your ass. I don’t know how many dirty old men I’ve had to almost kick down the gangway.”
#1. The less I value your opinion.
“The more opinionated you are about your food, wine, or cocktails, the less I value your opinion about food, wine, or cocktails.”
Remember these the next time you’re out to eat and your meal may just be the better for it.