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Typically, we have quite a few choices when it comes to new films releasing to theaters (or recently, at home). Whatever you like – comedy, drama, documentary, romance – Hollywood is pumping them out in hopes you’ll choose their movie to sit down with on a Saturday night.
That said, very few movies are special, and while a few more are decent or good, there are also plenty of lemons.
If you’re looking to figure out where to best spend your entertainment budget, here are 15 signs people say could mean that movie you’ve been considering will be a dud.
15. This might not work for everyone.
If my mom called to recommend it to me.
I swear to god my grandma once came to tell me about this incredibly funny movie she saw on TV called Jack and Jill.
14. A classic tell tale sign.
“Get ready to see ____ back in action in the big screen!”
This line is used in many bad movie trailers of old properties which are made into movies.
13. There’s always room for one more.
When one villain wasn’t enough to make a movie, so they shoehorn in multiple half-arse villains instead.
Unless we get 6 prior movies focusing on each villain, we’re never getting a good sinister six movie and that’s very saddening
12. Hallmark thinks this is a winning opener.
The preview shows a girl who’s Just Too Focused On Career to find love going back to her small hometown for whatever reason.
And she has a boyfriend but is having a hard time connecting with him. Her mom calls her and persuades her to visit and come home.
Hijinks ensue when she meets her male friend from her childhood who works at her parents country style business. Also her diverse gang of friends from the big city come down to rescue her from various awkward situations.
11. A watershed moment, to be sure.
Remember when they first revealed Sonic?
That.
Still can’t believe that the internet bullied a whole production company into making a better Sonic design.
10. Give me the action, please.
Starts with a ridiculous amount of exposition.
Or the opposite:
“Somehow Palpatine Returned”
9. What have you done for me lately?
if it’s from the studio that brought you, “insert decent movie here ”
Especially if it’s an old movie. Dreamworks still milks Shrek.
8. That’s an easy one.
It’s directed by Uwe Boll.
It’s always a good sign when a director starts challenging all of their critics to boxing matches.
7. No spoilers, please.
When I can tell how it’s going to end by just watching the trailer.
6. Some people have all the taste.
The simple act of me wanting to watch it pretty much makes it a bad movie. I’m like a moth to flame with bad flicks.
Unfortunately my husband also argues with me over what a good movie is. He is notorious for liking complete s*%t movies.
Everyone in a room will agree its bad and he will think its amazing and that we are being overly critical.
Or if its just me and him he will try to prove me wrong by putting up review sites.
He is always wrong. A lot of his favorite movies are 10 or less on rotten tomatoes.
Poor guy.
5. A short but accurate list.
When it is 10 mins in and you have said “What the f**k ?” under your breath 5 or more times.
When the opening credits tell you a really interesting story.
When the opening scene involves a shoot out with so many cuts you literally cannot see what is happening, or who is shooting at whom.
When the narrator sounds bored.
4. They need to make up their budget.
The near-constant advertising. Usually the exact same spot played before every video on YouTube.
Often, they’ll feature an actor way more famous than the cast, with a minor cameo, front and center on the poster.
3. They’re probably trying their best.
If it opens with a narration starting with, “I know what you’re thinking…”
It just screams desperation from a crowded writer’s room.
2. This is a very particular gripe.
They said the word family 20 times in 15 minutes and it’s not a movie about a mob family.
1. It almost never works.
When they try adding a irl trend in the movie, it’s just cringe
even worse is when they try forcing memes into it.
It’s either cringe, or so outdated that it just looks stupid
I have to say, I don’t disagree with any of these.
Be discerning out there, friends, and happy viewing!
