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Halloween may be over, but listen: in the way way back, witches could be accused, arrested, and executed any ol’ time of year. So it wouldn’t have mattered when you were caught doing any of these 15 things – they could have gotten you killed, regardless.
If you’re curious whether or not going about your regular life would have been a problem for you in the 17th century (and it probably would have been), read on!
15. You are a woman who has had a fight with a lady friend.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B3AfhtnnoJT/
Sadly, being accused of witchcraft often led women to throw their estranged friends under the bus in a (usually vain) attempt to save themselves, says author Elizabeth Reis.
“Women were more likely than men to be convinced of this complicity with the devil, and given such convictions about themselves, they could more easily imagine that other women were equally damned.”
14. …or any friend, really.
Anyone could accuse anyone, and at the height of the hysteria you just couldn’t predict whether or not you would find yourself at the wrong end of a noose – or whose accusation might put you there.
13. You are a healer.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BzVmiEngBmu/
Female healers – like Margaret Jones, executed in 1648 – were far more likely to be accused because of their skills.
12. You had sex outside of the marriage bed.
In 1692, having sex outside of marriage would earn you a one-way ticket to hell, and it would also give the good citizens of your town reason to send you there far before your time. Just ask Martha Corey.
11. You have broken any rule in the Bible, really.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B4qZAdwp9Up/
Because of course, no MAN in your township has EVER broken a biblical rule, am I right, ladies?
10. You are poor and/or female.
Women are, of course, far more likely to be in league with the devil – since the Middle Ages, “an aspect of the female has been associated with the witch.”
Likewise, the poor, homeless, and others forced to rely on the community for support were extremely disliked and distrusted by neighbors…and therefore probably consorting with the devil.
9. You are rich and/or female.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B4nYEXynaN5/
Don’t amass too much wealth on your own, though, because grown women who don’t need the support of a man are obviously not to be trusted.
Between 1620-1725, 89% of the women who were executed for witchcraft in New England inherited money without a son or a brother to share it.
8. You are married with few too (or no) children.
If you don’t have children, or only have a few, the devil has probably cursed you with infertility.
7. Your neighbors are also having trouble conceiving.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B4jsWWBnr2j/
Or, if you have a lot of kids but your neighbors aren’t, it’s probably because you’re stealing them.
6. You daydreamed about your eventual husband.
If you spent time doodling your crush’s name, well, people might think you somehow predicted your future – or worse, that you tricked him into marrying you using witchcraft.
5. You’re a female who is friends with other females.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B4iSj_gARpS/
Any group of women without a male chaperone is likely a “coven meeting to worship the devil.”
4. You’re a woman who is very old…
Older women were vulnerable and often accused of being witches.
3. …or a woman who is very young.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B4hxxUhA6Rl/
The youngest confessed witch on record is Dorothy Goode, who was four when she doomed her mother and then spent 9 months in prison. The experience cost her a lifetime of sanity.
2. You have a mind of your own.
If you’re sassy, a smartass, or quick with a comeback (especially to a dude!), you’re definitely a witch.
1. The butter or milk in your fridge has spoiled.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B4fv8u3g2p5/
Several testimonials against accused witches contained this “proof,” but we’re not really sure what the connection was…
I’d definitely have ended up at the bottom of a lake with a stone tied to my shoe, how about you?
