15 Times Movies Made Us Say “Uhhh, It Doesn’t Work Like That”

©Unsplash,Erik Witsoe

I remember when I was a youngster and I went to see the movie Speed in the theater. I was totally riveted by the action and then…the speeding bus made that ENORMOUS jump over the freeway.

I was young enough to say to myself “WOW”. But the guy down the row from me said “yeah right!” really loudly and everyone in the theater laughed. And then I cried and all my dreams were crushed for the rest of my life.

Okay, that’s a little dramatic, but it did make me realize that movies kind of…bend the truth.

AskReddit users talk about the times when this happened to them.

1. It didn’t exist yet!

“My dad was a pipe engineer for 35 years. Every time he watches The Titanic, when Jack is handcuffed to the pipe, he has to point out to everyone in the room how the curved elbow pipe in the shot didn’t exist at the time.

The correct setup should have been two straight pieces soldered together to make a corner pipe. I love him and his obscure dad facts!”

2. Trust me, I’m a scientist.

“People in movies being “scientists”, meaning they are good at all forms of science – biology, electrical engineering, physics, programming, communication protocols, advanced mathematics, hacking, robotics…

Sure, you could have some knowledge in all of those fields – but specialising in just one of them takes decades… These characters are usually wizards in all fields.”

3. You’re not getting out of this one.

“Avalanches, particularly when someone gets buried and then just bursts out of the snow unharmed. Avalanche debris sets like concrete, you’re not getting out without help. And most deaths/injuries occur from being bashed up during the slide, so you’re not likely to emerge unscathed if it’s big enough to bury you.”

4. They mean business.

“Pumping the shotgun every time you mean business. You’re just ejecting fresh shells on to the floor.”

5. How many times have you seen this?

“Rolling out of a speeding car. Na man, you’re about to look like you made out with a cheese grater.”

6. Not how it happens.

“As a cop, I’ve dealt with many stabbing victims. People don’t just drop like sacks of potatoes when they are stabbed or have their throat slit. I once had to respond to an incident where two guys got into a knife fight. Ended up having to help keep pressure on wounds as we waited for paramedics and he pulled through.

His neck was wide open, and he had 23 punctures in his abdomen and arms, but he was still energetic and down to fight. When it comes to gunshots, you’re not going to instantly drop unless something vital is hit (heart, brain, ect.) Makes me laugh a little when watching movies and bad guys drop dead when they are shot or cut in any way by the good guys.”

7. It’s a match!

“Pretty much any scene that involves biologists. “Look, the DNA is a perfect match!” as the computer superimposes two identical graphics that are basically just the symbol for DNA 🧬.”

8. Oh, come on!

“90% of the depictions of women going into labor. It’s rarely ‘Mom feels fine all day > suddenly has one sharp contraction > water immediately breaks and makes a puddle on the floor. Everyone I know who’s given birth has had at least a few hours contracting before the water breaking, if it breaks at all, and then it can be even longer before you’re in active labor.”

9. Ready for action.

“Our hero is beaten, stabbed and shot. Next scene he wakes up bandaged in the hospital. Within seconds, he yanks out all the tubes and wires, jumps out of bed, finds his – suddenly clean – clothes, and rushes out to continue his quest.

In the next scene he’s full of energy as he pursues his foe, and while his face may have a single scratch or bandaged cut – usually above one eye – there’s no sign of what would ordinarily be a yellow-purple swollen pulpy mess with blood-red eyes.”

10. Didn’t get the farming part right.

“In Interstellar when they have combines running through a field of green corn. They spent a ton of time getting little details of astrophysics right, then fell flat on their face in the depiction of farming.”

11. Not realistic.

“When a baby is born and it’s a beautiful, squeaky clean 3-6 month old twice the size of a newborn. They are tiny, goo covered, swollen purple aliens IRL.”

12. Don’t really see that often…

“Frantically shouting “TAXI!!!” while hailing a cab.”

13. Hahaha. I love this!

“It always takes me out of the movie when say someone will be like “you’ll never believe what’s on the news. Put it on”. Their tv is off, they turn the tv on, and it’s on the EXACT station of said news crew, at the EXACT moment they’re talking about I said topic.

That’s not how it works. And it could be anything. Not just news. They turn on the tv and it just so happens to be on what their looking for. Just a small aspect of television/movies that takes me out of it and I’m always like “that’s not how this works.”. Lol”

14. An explosive revelation.

“Most explosions. I was in ammo and it ruined most movies for me. They’re still fantastic movies and I love them all, but when a building explodes you’re not gonna walk out casually barely beating the flames, and those thousands of pieces of wood aren’t all going to magically not impale you as they’re hurdled all around you with incredible force.”

15. Military jargon.

“The way people in the military talk in movies just kills me. I don’t care so much about getting some details wrong, and these days the advisers seem to do pretty well with keeping it realistic enough to pass. But no military adviser can help bad dialogue.

I’ll put it this way. Actors are so bad at being convincing military members, R. Lee Ermey famously did the role himself in Full Metal Jacket after being initially hired on only as an advisor.

Specifically, it’s all of the stupid shit writers think we say to each other. No one will EVER ask “Permission to speak freely.” They just fucking speak. We don’t salute constantly. It’s used as a greeting – not something we do as we leave to carry out orders. We are NOT that formal. It gets ridiculous- watching these actors talk like robot people and overuse jargon.

Like, I’m not using brevity codewords in normal conversation (unless I’m being a smartass). Military people just talk normally. Formality is pretty much limited to ceremonies, when you’re in trouble, or if you are addressing people way senior to you in some kind of formal setting. Even then, plain speak is more common than over-the-top Sir Sandwiches, and out of place jargon.”

Hey, it’s called “Movie Magic” people, okay?

Okay, now it’s your turn!

What are some movie scenes that have made you say “no way!!!”

Share with us in the comments!