They say that relationships are built on trust. Now, I can understand not telling your spouse every single thing about yourself because A. who has time for that? and B. sometimes things just don’t come up, you know? And those excuses are totally valid for some of these 15 stories we found on AskReddit threads.
Sometimes, though, YOU SHOULD REALLY HAVE MENTIONED THAT BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED. Just saying.
1. Skills every man should have.
That he knew how to ballroom dance and took a cake decorating course for an art credit.
I learned it the same night. I couldn’t decorate cupcakes and he took over. Later at the event, he grabbed me and waltzed perfectly.
Can’t wait for the next few years.
2. Other Family
My wife passed away. At the funeral I met her ex-husband, her 22-year-old son who she hadn’t seen for 19 years, and her other 20-year-old son who she gave up for adoption (from a different father).
I never knew any of them existed until the night before the funeral when her best friend asked if I minded if they came.
Yes, it was awkward. She never had spoken of them. The closest she came to admitting it was when we were dating and she said, “Don’t believe a word my sister says, she tells everyone that I’m divorced and had two kids.”
Seventeen years later I found out that was the truth.
3. Swimming
She’s really bad at swimming. I discovered this on our honeymoon while we were about 100 yards from shore when she started having a panic attack.
4. Tomatoes
My dad loved grilled cheese sandwiches growing up. It was the one thing that his mom could cook when she was sick (cancer), and he always associates it with happy memories.
My parents get married, my mom continues the whole “making grilled cheese because it makes him happy” deal, complete with a slice of tomato, because my grandfather (his father) grew tomatoes and she thought it was an extra bit of love.
My parents have been married almost forty years, and my dad finally told her last year that he hates tomatoes.
He had been eating the sandwiches with tomatoes the entire time because he thought it was a part of her childhood, and wanted to make her happy. They laughed for ten minutes, the tears streaming, not able to talk laughing.
5. MINDGASM
That she can have an orgasm just by thinking about it. Yeah, amazing.
6. Learnin’ German
We have been together 15 years and married for 7, we are watching tv the other day and someone starts speaking German and there are no subtitles – he translates it, like it’s no big thing. I’m like who ARE you? Apparently he’s watched so many war movies he speaks conversational German.
7. The Profile Pic
I met my husband online on OkCupid. I found out right before we got married, after dating for 5 years and living together for 3, that the picture of him posted on the site was staged – a profile of him using a camera timer in his room alone while holding a beer and talking to no one.
I don’t know which cracks me up more that I couldn’t tell or that he kept the secret for so long.
8. Opening things is easy, though…
That she doesn’t close any doors!
Getting a glass for a drink? Door stays open!
Getting silverware? Drawer stays open!
Taking a dump? Door stays open!
It’s 4am and you are getting ready for work. What’s that??
A DRESSER DRAWER!! HELLO HUMAN SHIN EVERY MORNING.
WOMAN, PLEASE CLOSE THINGS!
