If you’d asked me before I read through this list of answers, I would have guessed that most of the memories boys (and men) have from their days using locker rooms aren’t exactly great.
Who likes being naked with a bunch of friends, especially during those awkward high school years?
These 16 guys have more funny memories than anything, though – at least, the ones are funny that didn’t happen to them.
16. That’s a reason to fight.
Swimmers can be disgusting as f**k…the change room was the scene of the most f**kery… I once saw a couple guys drag a dude with only his swim suit on face down on across a bathroom floor, but the craziest thing I saw was when a guy came up behind a dude at the urinal and started pissing on him…the pisser then runs away on to the pool deck…
dude who got pissed on comes full speed out of the change room and tackles they guy into the pool…a fight ensues and dude who got pissed on ends up also getting his nose broken…
15. Riding the pine.
During high school I tried to make room on the bench for my teammate.
I slid down the wooden bench and got a splinter in my bum.
14. Seems like a light punishment.
not an athlete, but our gym hall in school was closed off for 3 months so we went to an actual public gym. some guy in our class (16 years old) thought it was funny to put a plastic bottle in his pants to simulate a massive boner and walk into the female locker room with it.
he got suspended from sports for the 3 months we were there.
13. They never saw them again.
Football locker room. Varsity locker room had limited spots, everyone else had to go into the small room that had a 6 ft. ceiling. Summer camp my sophomore year, after coaches left, Varsity guys held wrestling matches to determine who got the remaining lockers in the big varsity room.
Kid got suplexed into the whiteboard, and we all found out that the walls were made of concrete. Blood everywhere. Varsity locker room was closed for the remainder of the year.
12. An apt nickname.
Varsity soccer in high school, kid took a ball to his balls. After the game, was in terrible pain. One ball had gone all black and blue and he was taken to the ER. One testicle turned around and the blood supply was cut off.
From the time of impact of the ball to his balls had been too long, and they had to remove it. He was christened Uno from that time on.
11. This sounds like an average day.
One my wrestling teammates tucked his d*%k and balls between his legs and proceeded to chase down kids in his gym class yelling “look at muh poosey.”
I swear being on a wrestling team is the funniest shit you’ll ever witness.
10. That’s gotta ruin the moment.
Hs Basketball game at one of the roughest schools we played against. Walked into the locker room and some dude was banging his gf on the sink.
They ran away so fast seeing 15 lanky white dudes storming their moment
9. A different kind of wild.
Not really a locker room story, but one time I was at a 5 day tournament (nationals) that was rained out for the first three days. Athletes were getting rowdy and going for drinks (behind the coaches back).
Well day 4 it was finally nice enough to play. We noticed on a different field, some police officers were talking to people on the sideline. Apparently, one player didn’t make it back to the hotel the night before.
They found his body at the bottom of an elevator shaft in a building under construction. No one knows how he got there but it seems like he just wandered off and fell. Day 5 was cancelled after that.
8. A real creeper.
I was a member of this family gym. They would have grade school swim teams there in the afternoon. One day, I’m getting changed and I notice this guy in his sixties just sitting butt naked on a bench drinking one of those giant sodas you get from the gas station.
Happy as a clam just slurping his soda.
My first thought was he’s just the naked locker room guy and to let him be. Then all the swim team kids came in after practice and I realized why he was hanging out. He was waiting on them.
I go right to the front desk and they got him out. Never saw him again.
7. As one does.
Came into the Locker room after practice and my teammate was riding a hover board butt naked.
6. A naked ruckus.
One dude, let’s call him Greg, was a crazy motherf**ker. A 200+ lbs linebacker of pimply, red muscle with a goofy smile all the time because he just did something again.
Would go a whole practice with a lighter and spray cologne in his pants to light people on the sidelines, shit like that. The most memorable was after one practice we are all getting changed and, I guess wanting an audience, Greg starts causing a naked ruckus by slapping people with his jock strap then crawling onto a table where he proceeded to drop a deuce on all fours.
His anus was facing the coaches office, I saw an assistant peek through the blinds and decide it wasn’t worth intervening.
5. He was the only one who thought it was funny.
My local football club had two long lines of open showers with a three foot wide, slightly raised section you could step out and onto running down the middle of the two shower areas.
Now these showers are nothing more than shower heads poking out of the wall, no privacy at all, just you and eleven other blokes in this old 1970’s designed shower space that is concrete and brick.
My junior team used to train the same nights as the Seconds team so we’d share the change room space, showers etc.
Only the once I’d noticed some of the guys suddenly, mid shower, jump from one side of the showers to the opposite side, and quickly claim a vacant spot to continue showering if someone left etc.
I assumed that maybe the water pressure was better or the water was slightly hotter but the real reason was this…
One bloke in particular always managed to grab the shower furtherest down the line of about six showers.
He’d wait until the showers were full then do a sly piss that would run all the way down the line to the drain.
If you didn’t spot him, you’d literally be standing in his piss while showering, if you saw him you bailed out, across to the other side.
He thought this was hilarious and reckoned he’d done it hundreds of times BUT for the worst instance of his ‘shower shenanigans’ I can gladly say I wasn’t there for thank goodness.
From what I was told, he once again grabbed the last shower at the back and after a couple of mins all Hell breaks loose.
Guys are literally falling over themselves trying to jump out of the showers, bare arses exiting the area like it’s on fire with people screaming and swearing like it is such was the panic.
Turns out he had his back to everyone for a bit and one of the blokes yelled out “that he’d better not be having a piss”
He say he isn’t and turns around.
To everyone’s absolute horror he’s been having a wank all this time and is about to blow!
To cap it off, apparently he was doing this high pitched hysterical laughing as it was all happening making the whole thing even more traumatizing.
I don’t ever recall seeing him return to the club after that.
4. The winners, hands down.
Not an athlete but this was in a locker room in the military. One guy in my unit had massive balls. Like he had a medical condition where something didn’t form right and they grew really big, it even interfered with his run times.
We shared our locker room with another unit and somehow out conversion turned to which unit had the guy with the largest balls (as military conversations tend to do).
They called their guy and he comes running around the corner with his nuts in his hand, so proud of himself. We aren’t impressed. We tell our guy to come show them his balls. The other unit took one look and instantly declared us the winners haha. Score one for Fox Company!
3. This is so icky.
So I was a swimmer in college. Our practices were always pretty fun and social. One of the school photographers/media guys would often come by to watch and chat with our coach.
He was cool and friendly, and we always got along well. One time we were having a conversation and he followed me and my teammate through the locker room (which was on the way to his office so I didn’t think anything of it). He stopped in the doorway of our varsity locker room, which in hindsight should have been a red flag, but again we were in the middle of a conversation so I didn’t think anything of it.
I started changing, which wouldn’t have been awkward except that he just stopped talking when I took off my suit. I figured maybe he wasn’t comfortable with nudity or something not being an athlete or a college guy. Naïve, I know. Anyway, I finished getting changed and then we all left and that was that.
Fast forward six months and he gets busted for leaving his phone on in a locker and recording the shower area. He apparently had hundreds of photos and videos of students. Our university conducted a full investigation of course, and they claimed that all the students who appeared in the photos and videos were contacted, so I guess I wasn’t among them.
I know I should feel violated or something, but I was really just mad that a seemingly good guy could be so terrible.
2. Y’all, WHY?
Was on swim team and they had this ritual where you would take your dick and balls and stuff em behind your legs, and then proceed to whip em back out and see how far you could get your stream.
1. Oh man, the middle school shame.
Was in middle school after P.E. class when another student thought it would be funny to blind side tackle me in the shower while repeatedly yelling “call me daddy”.
Of course we both ended up in the principal’s office after that, but we didn’t get in trouble for fighting… we got in trouble for PDA (personal display of affection)
I’m laughing pretty hard, so maybe there’s something wrong with me, idk.
Do you have a funny memory from your locker room days? Share it with us in the comments!
