Who do you think it the absolute dumbest person you’ve ever had to deal with in your life?
A family member? A co-worker? A total stranger?
I can’t recall mine exactly, so I’ll steal one from a good friend of mine. He was playing a game with his girlfriend and the question was, “If you could time travel to any moment in history, what would you pick?”
Her answer: “The moon.”
Wow…for some reason that one always stuck with me…
Let’s get to these funny stories from AskReddit users.
1. Oh, boy…
“My brother and in used to work as grocery baggers. One day, were working adjacent checkouts.
A customer saw us and asked if we were twins.
I answered yes and her follow up question was mind blowing.
“Are you brothers?””
2. Stay away from me!
“I got a concussion a while back. A friend of mine told me not to come close because it might be contagious.
They weren’t kidding.”
3. This is too hard.
“I had a co-worker who could never figure out what time her 15 minute break was over.
We were both bank tellers.”
4. Just cancel it.
“Ex flatmate cancelled the gas and electricity contract because it was too expensive.
Wondered why we had no more electricity nor gas. She thought we paid 90€ a month to get a hotline 24/7 in case of problem.”
“I was once asked how it felt to come to the US as a refugee (I’m from Germany).
She then looked rather surprised when I told her that Hitler has been dead for 75 years and that Germany is one of the more liberal countries in the world these days.
She full on thought I fled Nazi Germany.”
6. Good idea.
“I worked at a meat desk for a summer job, and a woman came in and asked if we had any meat without spices or sauces.
She then proceeded to tell us that “the doctor” had said that her dogs got sick because she kept feeding them pizza and they couldn’t handle the spices.
She then said “oh but they love pizza so much, I feel bad for them. I’m probably still gonna feed them pizza”.”
“I work retail.
Had a customer a few weeks back pull her mask down to cough into the open air and then pull it back up.
Really makes you wonder why there are people like this in the world.”
8. Do you sell that here?
“I worked at a pet store in college.
This customer asked me which food would make his pit bull “swole.” I suggested a high protein food with a good amount of exercise but advised that a lot of it was determined by the dog’s genetics.
He asked me if we sold genetics.”
“I once worked in a midwestern grocery store deli and I was trying to explain to a woman that the name brand and generic brand of the macaroni salad that we carried were in fact identical.
The woman yelled at me saying she could only have the generic brand because “one is made with mayo and the other is made with mayonnaise and I don’t like mayo”.
When I tried to explain that mayo is an abbreviation of mayonnaise, she just said “I’m from the south, I know my food” and tutted away.”
10. How do you survive that…twice?
“I met a guy who got hit by a train.
Not that bad, but a year later he went to show his daughter where and how he got hit by the train and he got hit again.”
11. It’s coming!
“At the beginning of the pandemic, a friend freaked out to hear that there was a covid case an hour away (meaning someone an hour’s drive away had been diagnosed).
She thought she should get in her car and drive the other direction to keep ahead of it because she thought covid, the disease, was approaching like a wave of zombies and was an hour from reaching her.”
“My mom’s friend was adopting a baby from China.
After the friend returned home with her baby she was on the phone with my mom. The baby was crying in the background. My mom later told me, “The Chinese baby’s cry sounded just like a regular baby’s!”
She was legit shocked. I guess she thought they cried differently since they were born in a different country.”
13. Two places at once.
“My sister asked if the Eiffel Tower was in Paris or France and couldn’t understand how it could be in both…”
14. Rumble strip.
“A girl I knew was complaining about her car making a weird noise. She kept bringing it to the repair shop and they kept finding that nothing was wrong with it.
So she sells her car, gets another one. She complains about the same thing. Then one day she’s in the car with a friend of mine, who’s driving. He veers out of the lane just a little bit and hits the rumble strip.
“That’s it! That’s the noise my car makes!” She says.
“What, this?” He purposely drives onto the rumble strip this time.
“Yes!” She says.
Guys, she SOLD HER CAR because the “weird noise” it was making couldn’t be fixed. Her nickname was rumble strip after that.”
15. He was there.
“I was asking my friend, J, when he learned about 9/11. He started telling me this specific story of how he walked outside and saw smoke everywhere and how he asked his mom about it, he claimed she said planes hit the towers.
I stared at him, just silently taking in the story.
We live in the Midwest, there was no way he saw the debris from the towers.
Also we were born in 2003.”
16. This is really something else.
“In 8th grade art class we were taking about famous painter and someone brought up Michelangelo. A girl in the back said (paraphrasing) “Michelangelo isn’t real, he’s a turtle”.
The entire class collectively face-palmed.”
Now it’s your turn!
In the comments, tell us about some of the dumbest people you’ve ever met in your life.
Please and thank you!