Meeting new people is hard for many of us. We don’t feel comfortable in all social situations, we’re nervous, we deal with anxiety or maybe even some level of autism that makes it hard for us to read other people.
Introducing ourselves to new people, though, is something we’ll have to do many times over the course of our lives, so we buck up and figure it out.
If you’re still trying to decide what the best way is to go about it, these 16 people are sharing what works for them.
16. When it does, you know you’ve found the one.
show them your pokemon card collection and maintain constant eye contact.
20% of the time it works every time
15. Everyone needs a good foundation.
I typically start off with a question about something that is going or some compliment.
Small talk I use to introduce myself rather than to make a move first.
A good move requires good foundation.
Good foundation requires a good introduction.
14. Sort of like you’re interviewing each other.
Try to relate to them.
There’s no use becoming friends with people with no shared interests, find out what they enjoy.
13. Tell them something about yourself right up front.
Hi my name is name but I go by nickname, and I have been up for 3 days straight playing halo 3.
12. Read the room.
On top of this, read their outward appearance for cues regarding their interests or even just praise an item they’re wearing that you really think is nice (ie. hey nice TOOL shirt you have). This is a sign that the conversation will lead to a lengthy one as you two probably share the same interests
The venue is very important, as people with similar goals tend to congregate, intentionally or unintentionally. In a bar that shows Giants games in NY, the people at the bar will most likely be Giants fan, the people who show up at an anime convention will obviously like anime and related stuff, the people at an airport bar on a Monday morning will most likely be businesspeople and so on.
11. What’s funny is that it might actually work with the right person.
Hold up your hand as if or a handshake and then, as soon as they lift theirs a bit to reciprocate, lift both your hands as if you were going in for a hug the whole time.
Awkwardly make them switch between handshake and hug a couple of times as you close distance, before committing to the hug. Then kiss them on the cheek, as they pull back, try to awkwardly get another two kisses in European style.
Now just maintain eye contact while biting your bottom lip and you got yourself a friend for life there buddy.
10. Don’t forget you’re half of the equation.
To add to this even further: don’t be afraid to have your own opinions and preferences. Common interests (like rooting for the same sports team) are great, they’re good conversation starters. However, if you root for a different team, or you like TOOL but think X band is even better, don’t be afraid to say it! Things like that can often lead to more fruitful/interesting conversations.
It may sound stupid, but I used to default to agreeing with everything my conversation partners would say. I think a lot of people have this sort of “default setting” where they try too hard to be agreeable and friendly.
9. If you ever heard it to begin with.
Forget their name in 5 seconds apparently.
Been doing it for years.
8. It’s actually not a joke.
the Inigo Montoya format is actually really good. It has four key components:
“Hello, ” – A friendly greeting
“my name is Inigo Montoya.” – State your name clearly for the other person.
“You killed my father.” – Tell the other person how you know each other or provide some common ground to build a relationship off of.
“Prepare to die.” – Provide next steps in the relationship.
Sure it is a violent example, but it can be tailored for any interaction:
Hey, I’m Tony. This conference is really boring. Do you have any plans for lunch?
What’s up u/Jaberwockkk? I’m u/jwr410. We met on Reddit a while back. Wanna see my Pokemon collection?
Hi Doc! I’m Tim, your 2:30 appointment. Let’s get this rectal exam over with okay?
Behold! I am Ghaabh’gne the All Seeing. I have come to claim what is rightfully mine. You will bow before me.
See! All kinds of ways it can be restructured.
7. You have to get to know people somehow.
Tell them your name, age, where you live relative to the area, marital status, what you work as and where, how late you get home at night and your smoking and drinking habits.
After that you tell them your nightly routine including what time you go to bed, how long you sleep and what you do before bed, this naturally leads into telling then how well you sleep at night and how much stress you carry with you, maybe toss in the results of your last doctor check up just to mix things up.
Finally you tell them what kind of life you’re trying to live and how you deal with society and then most importantly how you would probably do in a fight.
This is the key to successful conversations with people, follow it to the letter and you will have no problems making friends in future.
6. And then ride the wave.
Most of the time I ask questions about them.
Job, family etc… anything to start a flow of back and forth.
5. Ah yes the silent pep talk.
This may sound kind of lame and corny, but it’s the only thing that make introductions better for me.
I force myself to assume the other person is going to like me. I’ll say inside my own head, “Of course this person is going to like me, because I am inherently likable.” Something about this mantra hijacks my brain in a way that always makes the situation go smoother.
4. I wouldn’t think so.
I can tell you it isn’t “Hi, I’m here to insert your catheter.”
Source: am a nurse.
3. It worked for George Costanza. For awhile.
“Hi, my name is George, I’m unemployed and live with my parents.”
2. State your intentions.
Start with a casual hello, first and surname so they know how to call you, and then state your intentions. Hello, I am Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.
1. Always ask about them.
In a relaxed, friendly way, tell them your name and ask for theirs. Then, with a smile, say that you’re happy to meet them.
If they seem receptive, ask them something about themselves – like where they’re from. Make it easy for them to talk and encourage conversation by keeping topics easy and of mutual interest.
Some really good advice in these posts, don’t you think?
Would you add anything of your own? Please share in the comments if so!