There are many great bosses in the world, but there are also a whole lot of lemons out there, too. Most of the time we can’t just pick up and change jobs any time a jerk – loud or quiet – finds their way to the rung above ours, though, so we have to deal with it.
16. Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.
back when I was working and attending classes I would go straight from campus to work, getting me there anywhere from 10-20 minutes early before my shift. On occasion my boss would ask me to help him out with something before I clock on, putting something away or answering the phone. Over the span of a couple months, this evolved from ‘occasionally’ to “every day your shift starts when you get here”.
After doing this for a couple weeks (still clocking in at my usual 3pm) I decide that if I’m working for a few extra minutes each day, I’m gonna get paid for it. I did this ONCE, and I didn’t make it an hour into my shift before my boss is screaming at me and throwing down the employee handbook saying that I’m only allowed to clock in 5 minutes before and after my scheduled shift.
Needless to say, I made it a point to not check in until 5 minutes after my scheduled shift every day, no matter how early I was. Fast forward 3 months and my boss gets fired. He got what was coming to him.
15. This man is the hero we all need.
This story is about my buddy’s father, a former university prof. At one time, the university instituted a dress code forcing professors to wear ties. In protest, he bought the most lewd, ridiculous and outrageous ties he could find. Fish ties, dick ties, piano keyboard ties. He became something of a hero to his students who regularly bought him the most offending or off-colour ties they came across. The university ended up rescinding the dress code.
He passed away about 10 years ago and they had a reception for him where they displayed his hundreds of ties and invited mourners to take one in his honor. I showed up late and all the dick and fish ties were gone. It was a sad day.
14. Talk about giving someone the finger.
Supervisor was a bit*h who wouldn’t let the lead guards at the top of the tallest slide in the park go to the bathroom. Guard at the top is radio-ing that he needs to take a sh%t, but she won’t let him.
Mind you, the lead guards are allowed to ride down every once in a while to make sure no tubes are stuck. Lead guard is about to sh%t his pants in front of a ton of guests, so he goes into the utility closet and sh%ts in a bucket of cat litter we kept to clean up vomit.
He then proceeds to ride the slide down to clean himself off and left the supervisor to clean up his bucket of sh%t.
13. This story has it all.
My brother in law worked for UPS for 17 years. He was a bit of a joker and was constantly getting in trouble for coming to work with crazy hair colors, or cornrows (he was a big Italian guy and was told it wasn’t appropriate). It was always something.
But they couldn’t say anything about him wearing sunglasses.
So his little rebellion was he would wear the most outrageous sunglasses he could think of. Ones shaped like giant red lips, guitars with the stems sticking up, purple ones with rhinestone hearts on them. Anything for a laugh.
After a while people knew him by his glasses. If some one said they lived in a certain area I would say, “Oh my brother in law is your UPS man, the guy with the crazy glasses.” and their reply would almost always be something like,”Oooooh John. Yeah I love that guy, he’s hilarious.”
He passed away 4 years ago, he was hit by a drunk driver while he was out walking one night. When we attended his funeral all of the guys from work came dress in their browns with crazy sunglasses on. His best friend gave his eulogy wearing a pair of neon green glasses three times the size of his face and the pastor even borrowed John’s guitar glasses when he went up to speak.
After his funeral we counted, he had over 200 different pairs. What started as him being a pain in the ass to his boss ended as a tribute to his character in life of always wanting to make some one else smile.
12. I would pay money to see the video.
My father was working in a post office in the early 80’s. It was an unusually hot day with ~85°F inside. There were no fans available so it was crazy.
Men weren’t allowed to wear shorts, but dad came to work wearing shorts which covered his knees and a part of his shin, figuring he was fine. He wasn’t, and his boss sent him home to change. He returned in his grandfather’s bonjour from the late 19th century. Top hat and all.
The boss kept asking if it wasn’t a little hot in that suit but he said he was fine.
11. What can he say?
A couple of friends of mine work at Wal-Mart. They found out that kilts are well within the dress code as long as they are the correct color. Drove their managers nuts. It’s been a year and absolutely no problems though. 🙂
10. Teenagers are amazing.
Not work but school. I’m a senior in high school, and one day a bunch of senior guys decided to start up “tank top Tuesday” every Tuesday about 1/2 the senior guys would come to school in a tank top.
Our school had no rule about tank tops except that the straps be at least two inches thick so we didn’t anticipate any problem, especially considering girls at our school wore tank tops all the time.
After the first day, the school announced that boys were no longer allowed to wear tank tops, when questioned as to why, they claimed that visible armpit hair was a distraction that inhibited learning.
The following Tuesday, we all went to school wearing tank tops and sporting shaved armpits.
9. Suddenly everything was approved!
while I was in the Navy it was recommended that I get a extensive surgery on my ankle. My command felt that I “didn’t deserve a bunch of time off for a surgery” so they said they would approve it but none of the convalescent leave. They refused to sign ANY paperwork.
First thing I did was hit them with the regulation stating that they were required to respond to all requests within a certain amount of time (3 days I think). They responded with a “no”. So then I had Navy legal draw up paperwork (with accordance to regulations) that my command would be responsible for 100% of my medical care if they did not abide by doctors orders. I then let them know that would mean that ALL of my medical care would then be handled by civilians and the command would be responsible for paying the bill out of their budget.
They approved my surgery, convalescent leave, and convalescent leave extension.
8. I bet he loved it, too.
At a former workplace, the dress code was changed.
Men were no longer allowed to wear shorts.
Women could wear skirts.
I started wearing a kilt, because skirts were ok in the rulebook.
7. You gotta have your integrity.
I used to work for this small town, twice weekly newspaper. The editor/publisher, mayor, county commissioner and a few other people were skimming tax dollars. When I confronted my boss about it, he told me he’d blackball me if I said anything.
So I went to the local television station, tipped them off and they uncovered the story. When they won their awards, my name was added to the list of reporters.
I still can’t get a job as a journalist, but damn if it didn’t feel good.
6. How can you not love kids?
Not work related, but school. In HS I wore a freecondoms.com t-shirt to school. I was called down to the principals office after 3-4 hours(my cool teachers thought it was awesome in the AM classes) and was told I was promoting abhorrent behavior. I posited that I was in fact trying to prevent unwanted pregnancies. I lost my fight and was told I had to leave if I did not have another shirt.
Rather than leaving I put a sticky note over the ‘m’ in condoms and spent the rest of the day harassing faculty about fantastic lakeside condos that I was giving away for free.
5. A few months off, full pay.
Used to work at a TV station. Absolutely awful management and horrible bosses. Complained about it to friends all the time. Some would even ask me on facebook about my job and I would reply- but I knew I could get fired for speaking ill of the company.
So I read the HR Handbook and found out as long as I don’t specifically name the company, I can’t be fired for it. So, about a month later, I realize I can’t take this shit anymore and post on facebook how terrible my job is, never mentioning the company by name.
They fire me a day later, I gladly walk out of that building and into a lawyer’s office- got $17,800-my yearly salary (seriously).
4. Damn the man.
A friend wore a shirt that said “Genitals are Funny”
They made him replace it with a school uniform shirt (we are not from the USA) from the Lost and Found box. He was over 6ft tall and chose a small girl’s blouse.
He could only button it at the waist and the seams split at little around his arms.
3. Hey, you do what you gotta do.
Worked in one corporate kitchen where our GM didn’t like our music so he would put on children’s music, so we all started singing a long at the top of our lungs…We won that war of attrition.
Years later in another kitchen we had surround sound in a closed kitchen where the uppity GM did not like our music and started passing draconian censorship rules about the music…so we switched it to children’s music for a week.
moral of the story never underestimate the power of a kitchen crew of misfits singing “banana phone” at the top of their lungs to fight fascism, motherfucker! Viva La Raffi! Viva La Raffi!
2. Hey, the letter of the law.
When Circuit City was still in business I worked in the warehouse. For whatever reason, they had a strict dress policy of khaki pants, this awful collar shirt that also had to be tucked in. This went for everyone, even warehouse. Like Kazin420, I discovered through an old warehouse employee guide (Shoved in a draw years ago and forgotten about) That as long as Warehouse employees had khaki colored shorts, with no cargo pockets, and a t shirt with a Circuit City logo there would be no problem.
Circuit City stopped making Circuit City t shirts long before I started, but thanks to a local Salvation Army, I was able to pick up, two Circuit City T shirts, and a quick trip to Target for some shorts, and my new uniform was set. My mangers were not happy about my appearance, claiming I looked sloppy and unkempt.
Even better, when the giant black dude (who hated his job, and just slept in the back, and talked on his cell phone all day) from the warehouse found out about this, he too had some old Circuit City t shirts, and joined in. Management hated us working together. I miss Circuit City
1. What was his issue with George Foreman?
My boss went away for about 3-4 weeks for a conference, and while he was away, a workmate and I had an idea… a george foreman grill, and then we’d go to the deli and grab stuff for lunch: hamburgers, lamb chops, pork, steaks etc.
We did this every day for over a month, and when the boss got back he put a stop to it, with the exact words “I don’t want that thing inside the office”.
So we took it to the shared kitchen area on our floor (We rented a suite).
When he got angry at that, and said “I DONT WANT IT ON THIS FLOOR”, we took it down to the underground parking area and used the power outlet at his parking space while he was out at lunch. he caught us because he was coming back from lunch with a business partner (in the car with him) and we were hunched over a tiny George Foreman grill making hamburger patties. Imagine 3 IT guys, crouching on the ground like cavemen, in a poorly lit underground parking lot, cooking hamburger on the concrete floor. Yeah, it went over about as well as you would think.
If he didn’t specifically use the words “Take that home or I will break it and throw it in the trash” our next step was to use the power point in the parking lot of the church directly opposite the building (and facing his office)
I need to take notes from these people!
Have you ever had a chef’s kiss moment like these? Tell us about it in the comments!