16 Security Guards Dish On The Weirdest Thing They’ve Seen On A Shift

There are all kinds of jobs out there that I feel like would have super interesting components to them – mostly positions that end up putting people in contact with the public, of course – and security guards are no exception.

And to the ones that work at night, well…that just ups the weirdness quotient, right?

I don’t know about you, but I’m super pumped to hear the weird and disturbing stories these 16 security guards have to tell!

16. I hope he got help.

A heroin OD. I work industrial, and it’s a whole mess of a story, but basically, this client employee ODed in a bathroom. During a power outage. While I was training a new guard on his first day.

The most f**ked up part is that if the power hadn’t gone out, he never would’ve come up missing during our required head count, and he would’ve died before we could get paramedics to him.

They got him back with two shots of Narcan.

15. A sad state of affairs.

In public housing there are a fair number of dead bodies that go unnoticed until they start to smell.

In motels there are a lot of domestic violence calls. One of the couples, usually the aggressor will attack security.

Lots of prostitutes and drug sales.

This is universal in all types of motels, Motel 6 to the three star place. We aren’t cops so there is little we can do other than call the cops. Another thing, we encounter way more out of place poop than we should.

14. Something you don’t forget.

I worked as a concierge at a high rise condo but part of my duty was watching the cameras and making sure the condo was secure. Anyways one day I get back from my break and there was a ton of cops in the courtyard because someone had been shot and killed there.

They asked me to help them review the cameras so I did. It was an old man who lived in the building and committed suicide. I saw him put the gun to his head, pull the trigger, and collapse.

I won’t forget that image ever. It was really heartbreaking, his wife had died unexpectedly and he decided there was no point on continuing to live.

13. This…is a lot.

Worked at a building that had an attached thrift store and saw a fire truck roll up to the entrance on the camera. Ran over to figure out what was going on, i had no calls or alarms going off.

Turns out a morbidly obese customer had fallen off the toilet and gotten stuck between the toilet and the wall, and managed to call 911.

The part I’d actually consider f**ked up was one of the firefighters pulled me aside after and said “we took a blanket off the rack to cover them up, but…you’re not going to want it back.”

12. At least he apologized?

I had a temporary job working overnight security for a hotel. The 3 months I had been doing it were mostly uneventful, but the lack of sunlight was getting to me. I’d start at 11:00pm do some rounds, wait for the bar to empty out, find an empty smoking room and get high, watch late night TV, raid the kitchen for pastries then watch the sun come up on the roof and go home at 7:00am.

It was literally my last shift before I started a new job. Everything was going smoothly until 6:30am. The front desk calls me on my radio and says there is a noise complaint from one of the occupied rooms, the clock radio alarm had been going off for 20 mins. To add to it the front desk tells me the room requested a wake up call 30 mins before and hadn’t answered multiple attempts to call.

I head up to the room and a maintenance guy joins me just in case. I get to the door and sure enough the clock alarm is blaring full volume. I can hear the phone in the room ringing too, the big heavy older type phone with an actual fucking bell in it. I knock on the door and shout over the noise, no answer. I pound on the door, no answer. I dip my keycard and start to open the door but the upper latch is still connected. I pause.

I guess I had unconsciously assumed that the room was empty given the volume of noise in the room. But the security latch can only be closed by someone in the room. My mind raced but there was only one logical conclusion to draw from the evidence. I used a card to pop the security latch and opened the door. Laying facedown on the bed half covered by a bedsheet is a middle aged man with a hairy back.

I look at the maintenance guy who gives me a look that says “the f**k you want me to do?” I enter the room and say “Excuse me sir” in the most authoritative voice I can muster loud enough to be heard over the alarm and the phone. No response. I get next to the bed and louder this time “Excuse me sir!” No response. I reach my hand out grab the dudes hairy shoulder and shake it “EXCUSE ME SIR!”

Guy lifts his head up, looks at me confused, and just goes “oh sorry”.

11. Definitely creepy.

We called it shadowmen.

The phenomenon of the shadowy figures you just can never get to see. The one time I actually got surprised was when I was peeing in a dark area and I saw someone/something walk by completely ignoring me.

I drew my weapon and told them/it to halt, etc but it literally walked out into the light and disappeared.

You had to be triple authenticated where we were working. Only me and my partner were in that area.

10. I’m so sorry I read this.

Worked security at a concert venue. We had a dude just out of his mind on some kind of wild s*%t and had to pull him out and put him on the ground and zip cuff him.

He put his face to the ground and got a mouthful of rocks and started chewing. Could hear all his teeth breaking and falling out of his mouth with sooo much blood.

And he was just smiling like the joker.

9. I would nope right out.

Security here. We call these “the vanishers.” You’ll see them in one zone, they’ll walk into the next one over…but they’re gone. There is nowhere they could’ve gone, no doors they could go in.

There’s also the breathers. They call our main dispatch at all hours and just breathe heavily into the phone, won’t say anything, but there’s obviously a breathing being on the other end of the line.

8. It can be hard to remain calm.

Finally something I can answer! It’s not really fucked up, but a few months ago I was roving the outside of the buildings at night. We work at the foot of the Rocky Mountains, so I’ve seen my fair share of deer, fox, coyotes, etc.

I was finishing up my 3 am check when I walked around the corner and met eyes with a fully grown mountain lion. He was about 10 feet away.

Now, I know that you’re supposed to remain calm, don’t bend down, etc. all that training went out the window. I booked it around the corner and tried to get inside as quickly as possible.

The mountain lion gave chase for a brief minute then broke off and ran into the brush once it saw my reflective vest.

I had my gun out and was never so scared in my life! It made for some pretty funny camera footage though.

7. I wouldn’t think she would have a choice.

Watched a pimp strip his girl down naked at gun point (immediately called the police) and then proceeded to walk her down to the river at gun point.

Luckily police arrived in time and she still wouldn’t press any charges. Just awful and sad situation.

6. It was actually what it looked like.

Not me, but recounted to me by a mall security guard friend. He saw a young man who had been banned from the mall for shoplifting going into a bathroom, looking very wary and suspicious as usual.

He went over and followed him in there, expecting to find him taking tags off merchandise, but instead found him and three 50something men in varying states on undress all getting ready to have s^x with each other in the handicap stall.

One of them actually said “it’s not what it looks like” and that’s when my friend lost it and just started yelling get out over and over again until they were all dressed and gone.

5. That will get you kicked out.

I’m not a security guard but I’ve witnessed security guards handling it several times. I used to work at a casino and there would be addicts who would not step away from a slot machine for anything.

That includes using the bathroom.

One time a lady had s*%t herself, sat in it, and continued to play. Security had to Saran Wrap her so nothing would leak out and sent her home.

4. That’s a lot of faith in a railing.

I was a working as a bouncer as a favour for a friend with a company on New year’s Eve. It was in an old movie theatre converted to a night club. So it had those balconies the peaked out over the bottom section which was now the dance floor. I

saw a whole bunch of people pointing up at the balcony directly above me. I look up and got a bottom view of this dude f**king a girl doggy style bent over the balcony railing.

The dude was huge like 6’5″ 300+ lbs and the girls was probably the same weight but 5’5′. The view from the bottom was…. horrific to say the least.

3. I don’t think he was ok.

Saw a guy sitting on a bucket all the way at the bottom of our parking garage.

When I told him he had to leave he tripped on his bucket and had what I assume was blood all over him. It was horrible.

He then picked up the bucket and put it in his van unsecured so I’m almost positive it later spilled in his van. I asked if he was okay and he said yes and just left.

2. That doesn’t sound fun.

I got a second job as a night security for a local hospital my wife worked at. When I got home from the first night she jokingly asked “How was my first night Paul Blart”.

Well I had to help with a woman coding out from a park bench out side from a heroin OD, remove and catalog a another woman’s jewelry from her death on in the ER from a car crash. Then I had to break up a domestic dispute in the birthing unit, check a few bodies out from the morgue to the coroner.”

She asked that I take a shower before I went to bed and never made fun of me again.

1. So many poop stories.

I didn’t see it but in our daily pass along were warnings to be on the lookout for a woman pooping in the stairwells.

Yeah, I’m definitely not sorry I clicked on this Reddit thread.

If you are or have been a security guard, share your best story with us in the comments!