17 Creepy AF Things Officers Found While Searching Houses

Photo Credit: West Midland Police

First responders really do have to deal with some of the most messed up stuff you could ever imagine – and worse.

And police officers get a special mix of WTF that’s unique to the job. Well, these officers volunteered some of that WTF on this AskReddit thread, and, frankly, I’m glad it was them responding to these calls, and not me.

I certainly couldn’t have imagined most of these 17 situations, but that doesn’t mean I won’t have nightmares about them tonight…

#1. “My very first dead guy”

My very first dead guy had been in his house for almost a week during a very hot July with no A/C…

Did you know that your skin will become clear and you can see EVERYTHING?

He popped when the funeral home came to get him.

Yes, popped.

Some people, they’re not bothered by this. Me? No no no. I don’t have the stomach. This is the only part of the job that bothers me.

#2. Dumb Coat Racks

A coat rack with a hat on.

Clearing a dark house and seeing what could easily be a person standing motionless in the corner is not fun.

Photo Credit: Kjetil Ree

#3. “Extremely scaly”

An elderly man’s daughter rung us to check on her father since she was out of town and had been unable to contact him in a few days.

Arrive at his house and get no answer at the door but can hear running water.

We end up finding an extremely scaly elder-gentlemen dead in the still-going shower.

#4. “Merged”

Wellness check called in. Went in – smelled horrible – and discovered a large dead guy, shirtless, sitting in his front room, in a lawn chair watching TV.

He had set up an industrial space-heater behind his chair, which was on at full blast.

Due to the heat, and apparently other factors, he had “merged” through the back of that lawn chair.

#5. Pink Dress

During a search of a sex offender’s house, I found a room that looked like a little girl’s room.

In the closet I found a 4ft doll in a pink dress.

He had no kids and was in his late 50s.

#6. Your Dog Wants to Eat You…

Nothing will beat the old lady who passed away in her house and the little dog that ate her face.

Literally just the skin from the jaw line to the hair line and from ear to ear.

It left the eyeballs in the sockets.

Just a skeleton in a lady suit, doing the 1,000-yard stare…

Photo Credit: Lars Curfs

#7. Dildos and Ninja Knives

Family Disturbance call on Christmas Eve 2011, husband vs. wife.

No battery, nobody went to jail.. but the house was filled with hundreds of knives and dildos.

Normal dildos, little ones, great big horse dildos, and every kind of mall ninja knife you can imagine.

Every horizontal surface was covered with sharp metal or jiggly silicone. There were even a few new ones under the tree.

After clearing the house, we had to talk to these folks with a straight face for a good 10 minutes.

It was one of the greatest challenges of my career.

#8. “The oven was still on”

Got dispatched to a call, daughter has tried to reach her elderly mom and can’t make contact. Made location at the house and received written authorization from daughter to make forced entry at the front door. Asked the daughter to wait by the squad car and had fire department spread the door frame open.

Immediately noticed the smell and began to search the house.

Found the mom in the kitchen laying on open door of the oven. Half of her face and hair were burnt off, and the oven was still on, cooking her.

Apparently, we found out from the daughter, the mother used the oven for heat and had a heart attack, then fell on the oven door.