14. Not What A Stoma Is For, BTW
“So my attending told me that during his residency for surgery, he used to work in the clinic waiting for surgical cases to come through. This young guy came in with a colostomy stoma (opening) problem and wanted to get it checked out. So he goes to inspect it, pulls off the colostomy bag and there were ulcers and warts all over the stoma. Turns out the guy was prostituting himself and letting guys fuck his colostomy hole.”
15. ‘Tis But A Scratch
“This one comes from my buddy who was in EMT training:
They get a call responding from what they originally thought was a gunshot wound. Apparently they called it over the radio as just a chest wound.
She arrives at the scene and there’s a guy lying in his garage with a gaping hole through his chest. He’s dead.
She’s looking around the body and trying to see where the entry hole was for the bullet when she is informed by other paramedics already on the scene that there wasn’t one.
Turns out, the guy was masturbating with a broom up his ass. To get a good angle and really get it up there, he was doing this while standing on a stool. While on the stool, he slipped off the stool, landing on the broom that was poking out of his behind.
The broom snapped inside of him and a shard came out through his chest.”