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17 Movies That Would Have Been Way Shorter if Their Heroes Hadn’t Been So Dumb

Most of us appreciate good writing, whether we really understand what that means onscreen or not.

Like, it’s just not satisfying if the only reason a story keeps going is because the person we’re supposed to be rooting for is too stupid to figure out how to stop it, right?

If you’re not sure what I mean, below are 17 pretty great examples of heroes who are too stupid to live.

17. And Jafar was supposed to be the smart one.

Aladdin.

If Jafar would have just paid Aladdin what he promised him instead of betraying him at the cave, he would have had the lamp and become king be mighty powerful.

Aladdin just wanted his money in return for the lamp.

16. Five minutes or less.

The Visit:

Kids: “We’re going to visit our grandparents.”

Mom: “I don’t want you to go, but if you feel like you really want to go, I’ll drive you to their house.”

Mom: “Hey, y’all ain’t my parents. I’m calling the police.”

The end.

15. The first rule of crime club.

No Country For Old Men

Never go back to the scene of the crime.

14. That doesn’t sound like fun. Pass.

The ring

Girl 1: “Hey do you wanna watch the tape that kills you in 7 days”

Girl 2: “No thanks”

13. Proof that humans never learn.

Not the main character but : Dont reopen the beach for the holiday weekend in Jaws

12. The tapes are the whole thing!

Not a movie, but ’13 reasons why’.

The fucking kid just COULDN’T listen to the damn tapes. It’s literally the first thing she tells him, it’s what everyone repeats to him a million times..

He runs around, asking ppl shit instead of listening to the tapes.

11. Um, I think after the first one.

Any horror movie where your friends are dying one by one. After the third one, you say “fuck it” and leave.

10. I’m glad the storm troopers are dumb.

Imperial Officer 1: There goes another one!

Imperial Officer 2: Hold your fire, there’s no lifeforms.

Imperial Officer 1: Dude, we’re looking for an inanimate set of plans in a galaxy full of sentient robots.

Imperial Officer 2: Oh, right.

Written and Directed by George Lucas.

9. Why don’t more people see this?

“50 Shades of Gray.”

Ana – “You’re an abusive stalker with serious emotional trauma. Seek help.”

8. Cheapskate.

Jurassic Park if Hammond actually spared no expense.

7. This is such a no-brainer.

Star Wars Episode 1. Not exactly 10 minutes, but, Padme could have bought Anakin’s mom and he would have probably never turned to the Dark Side.

Republic credits may not be worth much on Tatooine, but I’m sure one of her jewel encrusted headdresses is.

6. Where’s the fun in that?

Not a movie, but breaking bad would have worked out much better for Walt if he had just swallowed his pride and allowed his old friend to pay for his cancer treatment.

5. Yeah, we’re not buying that crap.

If Mr. and Mrs. Bueller were anything like my parents, the movie would have been called “Ferris Bueller’s Day at School”

4. No one ever said Dorothy was bright…

I mean, Dorothy should have asked a few more questions about the ruby slippers.

3. Blasphemy.

Pretty much anything on the Hallmark Channel.

“Wait, let me explain.”

2. You gotta trust your gut.

Reservoir Dogs:

“I dunno, Joe. This heist seems kinda risky and dangerous.”

“Yeah, I’m not actually sure everyone in this crew is on the up and up. IT’S OFF!”

1. No doubt Lightning McQueen is a dolt.

– Please, Lightning McQueen, change your tires in this pit stop.

– Ok

tires wouldn’t have blown in the last lap and he would have won, as he was comfortably leading the race

*No need for a tie breaker race

This is one of my pet peeves, so I love this question!

Who would you add to the list? Tell us in the comments!