17 People Imagine Their First Act as President of The United States

Most of us, at one time or another in our lives, dreamed about being elected President. The power, the prestige, the being waited on hand and foot for years on end…it all sounds pretty good.

At least, it sounds good until you’re old enough to realize how much work and responsibility comes along with all of the perks.

These 17 people are answering the question “if you woke up tomorrow as President of the US, what would you do,” and they’ve got some pretty great answers.

17. Who could?


I can’t deal with that stress.

Maybe find out who the VP is first, I guess.

16. Some dreams are smaller than others.

“Secretary, hold all my calls” I’ve always wanted to say that.

15. Millions of peaches.

Give away millions of peaches for free.

Look out!

If I HAD MY LITTLE way, I’d eat peaches every day. Sun soakin bulges in the shaaaaaaaaaaaaade.

14. This is the realest of answers.

Panic. Ask Reddit what they would do.

Policy decisions via the most upvoted comments.

13. It’s just like every day.

Hit the snooze button two or three times. Awake, dreading having to get up.

12. Solid game plan.

Sign executive order that presidents who resign from office get 2x the pension.

Resign effective immediately.

Kick back, relax, watch yourself go down in history as the less consequential president ever.

11. Some good reading.

Learn all the top secret, most classified stuff.

Then write bits of it to tabloids until the tabloids are so wildly unbelievable that no one will believe when they’re printing 100% true facts

10. The greater good.

Announce that scientology has lost its tax exempt status.

In Germany they’re not considered a religion. Even better, to start a PhD program at a university, I actually had to sign a document declaring that I’m not part of scientology and would not try to preach such ideas/recruit for them.

Btw I’m American myself, so please don’t kill the messenger/look to me for explanations.

9. A practical man.

Go pee. I almost always have to pee when I wake up.

8. Important things first.

I’d take a week to binge classified documents, then I would resign.

Maybe task my lackeys with giving me cliffs notes on it…though I guess they’d have to be cleared.

Whatever, there has to be a legal way to have somebody go through the documents and condense it for you.

7. Might wanna rethink that.

Do what I usually do when I get up, look at my phone.

You have 67,432 new messages.

6. A wise man right here.

Either change the internet term “cookies” to something else or require webpages that use cookies to send free cookies every time someone clicks “accept cookies.”

5. I’m not sure that’s allowed.

I would eat the Constitution, therefore I would have the ability to channel the power of the founding fathers.

Dragonborn more like Fatherborn.

4. Facts.

Marvel at the epic bender I must have just been on, to not remember an entire political campaign.

As your attorney in the matter I advise you to keep quiet about that trip in Vegas.

3. Good one.

I would take air force one to area 51. I want see what is really there.

“Nothing to see here boys. Just the invisible jet and a working Back to the Future hoverboard. Waste of a trip.”

2. It’ll probably be back by the time you get home.

Fix that pothole at the end of my block.

spray paint a dong in it and complain to the city/county.

Welcome to the news at 11.

The President of the United States, Kirby Bucketts, was filmed today painting male genitalia in a pothole. When asked why he did this, the president replied “it needed fixing”.

Our political correspondent is on the scene.

Thank you, Fluff. Shock came to this rural town earlier today when the President woke up from a nap and apparently had been living here for the last 20 years. When asked what his plans for his term were, President Bucketts replied “to fix this damn pothole”. He was later seen spray painting a bright yellow penis in the middle of the pothole.

Political analysts have been trying to interpret the president’s actions, but have yet to come to a solid conclusion. Many of his proponents are claiming that the pothole is in fact a metaphor for the poor economy, or corruption. When asked for clarification, however, the President said “it was just a pothole”.

The pothole currently has an armed guard due to vandalism as the local council try to work out what to do with it. Complaints from local mothers have already been made about the drawing asking for repaving to remove it, but as it is currently considered part of the president’s official brief on his first day in office, the council has announced they will not be taking any immediate action to fill it.
Back to you.

That’s all for now, more news at 12.

1. Wouldn’t that be nice?

You know what, I’ll finally have health care so I’m treating myself to a doctors visit, dentist, and some therapy.

I honestly don’t know what I would do first, but it would definitely involve breakfast.

How would you answer this question? Tell us in the comments!