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#11. Soap-eye

“I can’t come to work today. I sprayed dishwashing soap in my face and now can’t see out of one eye.”

My producer thought it was hilarious. The next day he had left a travel-sized bottle of soap on my desk.

#12. Take the day.

I called my manager one morning to ask if I could have a an extra hour because I had hardly slept (occasional bouts of insomnia). He said take your time. I called back about an hour and a half later and said I was on my way and he said ok, see you a bit. I locked my door and walked to my car, only then realizing I forgot my keys. Amazingly, I had forgotten to lock the front door (probably sub-consciously knowing something was wrong). I went back in and to my room to get the keys. My room was locked! I never lock the bedroom door, NEVER!

“Hey boss, I have now locked my keys inside my bedroom. I’m not sure where the little dealy to unlock the door is and the actual key is on my key chain, inside.”

Boss says, “You know what, maybe you could use a rest.. Take the whole day off.”

HAHA!

#13. That happens?!

The Subway took the wrong turn.

#14. The Goat Boy

“I’m going to be a little late today… I ripped my goats horn off” From that day forward I was known as the Goat boy.

#15. Meth-Lab

“Couldn’t come to school yesterday because the DEA has a Hazmat team blocking my driveway.”

Neighbor’s meth lab got raided 30 minutes before I left for class. Nobody believed me until I showed them the news footage of the police tape roped from my house to theirs.

#16. Stupid limos!

“The limo was late.”

Middle school all-region band, and our directors actually paid for us to take a limo to the rehearsals and concert. Our driver actually did show up late, and when we got to rehearsal late, the director asked why. I said, “The limo was late.”

Now I know what it’s like being a rich white girl.

#17. “Run over that fridge. I dare ya!”

“I’m sorry I’m late, but I ran over a refrigerator door and it got stuck under my car.”

#18. And, finally, there’s this:

Photo Credit: Reddit

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