18 Kids Reveal Their Parents’ Personal Lives to Their Teachers

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Those kids sure love to be honest.

Unless you’re asking them who spilled or ate something.

But, you get them in a classroom, and they seemingly become an open book.

Here are 18 times when they might have opened the book a bit too far via AskReddit:

#1. “Was it really bad?”

“One kid called another kid an asshole.

So the teacher takes her out to the hall and says ‘We heard you call someone a bad word. Now what did you say?’

The kid says, ‘Was it really bad?’

The teacher: ‘Yes, very bad.’

The kid: ‘Well, it must have been ‘motherfucker.'”

#2. Spotlight

“A student drew a picture of himself and his father hunting deer. His stick figure had a flashlight, and his father had a gun.

He had the teacher write at the bottom, ‘I hold the flashlight while my daddy shoots the deer.’

For those of you who don’t live in Appalachia, shining a flashlight in a deer’s eyes immobilizes them and is also illegal.”

#3. Badass

“I’m a counselor at a summer camp. One kid was playing in the mud. When we asked him to stop, he stood up, and smeared it on his face, like battle paint.


The kid was seven.”

#4. He knows the drill

“My little brother is a very articulate and mature little boy. When he was five, his teacher was telling the class about her dog, who she had to put down.

A little later the kids were cutting out pictures from magazines for some project, when my brother walked over to the teacher with a picture of a wine glass he had cut out.

He handed it to her, saying, ‘Sorry about your dog.'”

#5. A tale of two dads

“Two quotes from my wife’s daycare:

‘My daddy has a HUGE penis!’

‘My mommy is picking me up because my daddy is in jail!'”

#6. “Racing”

“One kid said he couldn’t take a shower one morning, because his parents were in there.

Another kid said her parents were ‘racing’ in their bed.”

#7. “My mum has a penis, too.”

“We were talking about the difference between men and women: men have penises and women don’t.

One boy goes, ‘My mum has a penis, too.’

We’re all, ‘Oh no sweetie, she doesn’t,’ but he insists and it starts becoming uncomfortable.

After a while he says, ‘My mum HAS a penis, only it is not attached to her body, she keeps it in the drawer by the bed.’

Kids-logic is so precious.”

#8. “Daddy said so.”

“When I was very young, about four, a woman cut the queue after my mother and I had been waiting for a good bit of time (it was a doctor’s office, so the queue was pretty long).

Having been raised with manners, I tapped the lady on the back and said we were meant to be in front of her because we were waiting. She got snotty with my mother, and I got annoyed, telling her that my mother was a smart lady.

When she asked how she was so smart, I proudly exclaimed, ‘She can take her teeth out to brush them!’

Nobody talks shit about my momma, not now, not then.

Another time, a neighbor was cutting our hedges with my father, to return a favor, and I was around four or so again. I came in and told him that he, ‘made a bollocks of them, Daddy said so.’

My parents are so proud of me.”

#9. “Pass the Marlboro”

“My nephew told his teacher in kindergarten that his mommy and daddy would have friends over and pass around a cigarette to each other.”